The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2001)

This movie has a good heart. I'll give it that. The trouble is that said heart is buried under several acres of unpleasant, filthy, sweaty flesh. Adding an empty-headed, unsympathetic heroine was also a mistake.
SPOILERS
It starts out as a "little girl hits the big city" story, and indeed the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore show would not be an inappropriate theme song. Violet moves to New York with dreams of becoming a lyricist. The music industry rewards her for her fresh-faced optimism by crushing her like an insect under their collective heel. Her apartment is robbed. Even when she has a chance to perform her song at a "get discovered" nightclub, she balks when one idiot starts heckling her. Finally a waiter gives her a hint that a handsome Australian working at the diner at which she is eating is a mogul and wants to hear her demo tape.
Alas, it was all a cruel jest and the fellow is actually a short-order cook. He immidiately sees the setup, and tries to let Violet down lightly, but she gets mad and storms off. How is this his fault?
Eventually, Violet sees a bunch of tramps who seem to be pretty well off, and a series of events lead her to Coyote Ugly, where the scantily-clad waitresses dance on the counter to the delight of the inebriated patrons. Of course, this is the perfect springboard for an aspiring songwriter, n'est-ce pas? After accidentally hosing down the fire marshall (long story), Violet must make enough money to pay the fine. How? Our hapless Aussie has returned with the demo tape that he forgot to return, and Violet gets revenge for his kindness by auctioning him off (prostituting him, really) to the highest bidder. (Maybe Coyote Ugly would have a bit more money on their hands if they would stop wasting alcohol by using it to set the bar on fire and pouring it all over the waitresses.) To whom do our sympathies go?
In any event, Violet retains her job as a Coyote while her "boyfriend" tirelessly and without a complaint tries to get Violet a leg up in the music industry. When a scuffle breaks out, Violet calms them with a song, which is pretty high on the Big List of Stuff that Only Happens In the Movies and learns to conquer her stage fright.
But why make Violet so hard to sympathise with? When her boyfriend sets up an artificial audience to rehearse in front of, all Violet wants to do is take off her clothes and seduce him. Finally she performs her song practically in the nude, save a curtain-like drapery.
In the end, once again at the "get discovered" nightclub, Violet balks yet again, merely because the same idiot is back. Only after one of her coyote friends decks him and her boyfriend turns out the lights (she performs best in the dark) does she continue. Why is she so inhibited all of a sudden? Maybe she could do it if she took her shirt of and poured booze all over herself.
Violet's poor Aussie friend is tireless and devoted, and hardly gets a scrap of thanks. Instead, he gets auctioned off, insulted, and stood up, even when he puts his prized possession on the line and almost loses it. Violet even auctions off her FATHER at the very end for no logical reason at all. How sweet!
Perhaps the moviemakers realized how featherweight this all is, for they plastered the adds with nothing but dance footage. Indeed, this movie sinks pretty low to keep the audience's attention. When Violet is shopping for clothes, the camera lingers on her silhouette, just in case you were planning on going to the bathroom or the refund booth. A completely pointless scene shows a baseball game. Why? So we can see just a little more cleavage in a place where people may have realized how pithy this movie truly is.
But still, the saving grace is John Goodman as Violet's father. (Is it me, or is Goodman getting better as he gets older?) He can be funny and heartful at just the right times, and his character is a good one. Otherwise it's all fluff.
There are some parts of the movie that are stupid, illogical, and smutty, and there are parts the are cute, touching and funny. When this movie is good, it is very, very good, and when it is bad it is horrid.