Not wretched, but darn close

Rating: Null/10 (8 August 2000)

Here's one of those movies that could easily have been an ABC movie of the week, or maybe that would be pushing it. Rather one of those movies they show on a women's network, like Lifetime, in the afternoon. When it comes down to needing a compelling dramatic problem, the heartbreak of stagefright is not usually the one chosen. But there it is, hope that's not a spoiler, but essentially that's it: Girl comes to big city, wants to be songwriter, but darn it, can't sing in front of people. Interesting thing is she doesn't have any trouble getting up on a bar and getting doused with beer and water by other women. And that's the part of the plot that actually makes sense. There are all kinds of slow spots, so deadening, you'll have ample time to get a bucket of popcorn, use the restroom, knit a sweater and get in some golf and still be back in time before anything even remotely interesting happens. The movie is sold as a "get their testosterone and hormones pumping" thing for teenage boys, but it's really a "chick flick" about the dreams and aspirations of a beautiful young woman from small town New Jersey. Seems like the advertising execs knew watching a young woman sit around trying to write a song would not make for great TV commercials.
Another problem is the massive plot holes and omissions--seems like the heroine is sending song tape demos to everyone and his brother, but then within the space of about thirty seconds she magically buys a computer, becomes knowledgeable about how to use it and the sequencing software and the disc burner and the mixing technology and boom has a demo disk after she burns a cd and then for some reason we're not clear on, ... well, figure this is not a plot driven cinematic endeavor.
That the flick actually got a PG rating is somewhat mystifying since there's not much in the way of nudity, bar dancing and all, and less violence than you'd see on a tv cop show. This one should have been left for TV production where you are not out seven bucks and two hours, since all you need do is turn the dial. Well, who knows, maybe those advertising execs are pretty smart after all.