Stop me if you've heard this one...

Rating: 1/10 (9 May 2007)

a small town girl moves to the big city with big dreams, only to get a reality check, fall for a mysterious guy and experience some light drama, only to prevail in the end.
heard this one before? it would surprise me if you haven't.
aspiring filmmakers, screenplay writers, moviegoers, really anyone that has even seen a movie; coyote ugly is an exercise in exactly what to avoid in doing a movie. terrible acting, terrible writing, annoying characters, predictable plots, and sex appeal to make it sell. almost every aspect of this movie was stereotypical, pedestrian, and underdeveloped. it all follows a very neat and tired formula, that you can see where the movie will end ten minutes in. most of the time, i find the pleasure in films in not knowing the ending, but in coyote ugly, you can see it from a mile away, and don't want to sit through an hour and a half of fluff to get there.
in what might be the most overworked Hollywood formula, here we have a small town girl with big dreams who moves to the big city to become a songwriter. but, as expected, the city is not as glamorous and welcoming as it might be, and she ends up working in a bar, where scantily clad women dance on tables and serve drinks to unruly men. she meets one, a sensitive mysterious one, who has a mysterous past and a mysterious demeanor and is just a mystery wrapped in an enigma in a box of puzzles that she falls for. she then gets terrible stagefright playing some three chord bubblegum pop song that sounds just like every other mass produced bubblegum pop song and runs offstage, only to confront this fear later.
this formula has been done a million times, and million times better. the dialogue is fake, bored and uninspired, only going through the motions to move the plot along. the acting is horrendous, the actors are so bad and just feel like cardboard cutouts, there is very little acting involved. all of their relationships are underdeveloped, and the lack of good acting negates any possibility of feeling attachment to the characters. my personal favorite downer of the film is the huge talent that the main character believes she possesses in her musical career, after playing three chords and singing something that sounds like it was written by Hillary duff. how is the audience supposed to feel a connection and an empathy for her musical ambitions when she clearly has no talent? in conclusion, this is a movie you've already seen far too many times. this is a terrible film that fails on literally every level. almost every scene, every piece of drama, and every piece of dialogue falls flat with a resounding thud just minutes into the scene. predictable, recycled garbage, in one of the most irritating films ever conceived.