Movies Suck: "We're supposed to WATCH movies right? Because I could shove this DVD up my own rectum and probably get more entertainment value out of it."

Rating: 3/10 (30 June 2010)

"Coraline" is uninteresting and unsure of how scary it wants to be. It's Neil Gaiman, who is known to be pretty terrifying when he feels like it, but it's a children's book and we can't go around scaring the children. Coraline herself is an obnoxious brat who cannot bring herself to be content with anything life gives her, no matter how spectacular it is. Even as she evolves throughout the course of the movie she is still whiny, selfish little monster. She hates her parents because they're too busy working to keep her fed and clothed to cater to her every whim, she harasses the only person in the area who attempts to be her friend, and she even uses someone as a scapegoat to escape the clutches of the bad guy without thinking twice about it! How is THAT admirable? What on EARTH makes this a good protagonist? I don't care if the ending is happy; Coraline's a little monster who was obviously not beaten enough at a young age.
Nothing about this movie really appealed to me; the animation was crap, the soundtrack was crap, and the story as a whole was basically "Tim Burton does 'The Wizard of Oz'."
This review was edited for length and content. To read the whole thing, along with other reviews, check out my blog! http://moviessuck.tumblr.com/