Hansel and Gretel without Hansel. And without imagination.

Rating: 3/10 (7 February 2009)

* Just to get this out of the way: I did not view this in 3D, thus cannot comment on that aspect.
When you go and see a PG-rated animate film, what do you expect? A few laughs, a fun main character, something to keep your kid's attention, a creative story, and, possibly, that nostalgic feeling of childish wonder. Fantasy writers seem to think they understand this wonder-filled feeling more than anyone else, and thus I've yet to see a single fantasy writer who didn't pump out a generic coming-of-age, horror-teamed, Disney Land-inspired children's book at least once before the end of their career. Neal Gaiman, the writer of the original Coraline children's book, is no exception. He's also no exception to the unwritten rule among such generic fantasy writers that this children's book that I just described has be as unoriginal and predicable as humanly possible, otherwise it's too much for the children reading it to comprehend. Or, more likely, they just lack a single creative idea within their heads. I've read a lot of Gaiman books before, and this lack of imagination seems to be something that is contentious among all his works. Simply put, I could write up a page-long list of other authors that pre-date Gaiman and write the exact same stories he does, and they all think they're oh-so-original. I can also come up with a page-long list of movies that pre-date Coraline, but tell the exact same story. Is it so much to ask for a little creativity these days?
The setting for Coraline, the film, is completely generic for modern fairy tales like this. A big house. Coraline, the character, is also completely generic. An adventurous little girl with a slight punk edge. The secondary character, again, are all generic. Weird little boy, cat, unloving parents, fortunetelling old ladies, acrobatic old man. So, from the set-up alone, it's impossible to ignore how cliché and imaginationless Coraline, the film, really is. You've seen this a thousand times. You saw it with Alice in Wonderland, you saw it with Narnia, you saw it with The Corpse Bride . . . and if I had to, I could list at least thirty more. This is completely, wholesale unoriginal material, and that's apparent from the first five minutes.
The story is even more generic. It's Hansel and Gretel, minus Hansel. The generic main character finds a wonderful place filled with everything she lacked at home, and then things go wrong. Oh my! Who would have guessed?! I realize I'm criticizing this movie from the point-of-view of the bitter old man that I am at heart, but even my little sister, who I took to see this, admitted Coraline was completely predictable and forgettable. It's exactly what you expect. If fantasy writers understand children as well as they think they do, then why don't they give them a little more credit that they know what stories are repeated to the point of nausea? Seriously. In my theater alone, I heard countless little kids telling their parents how bored they were. At least half the families there left the theater before the last thirty minutes. If you want horror-themed animated movies that aren't just rehashes of the same predictable plot, I suggest A Nightmare Before Christmas (obviously) and Monster House (severely underrated).
Another problem with the boring factor. The movie repeats itself constantly, and you'll see the same exact scenes play out at least three times each by the closing credits. It drags on and on.
Coraline does have some entertainment value, and I will give it that much credit. The first thirty minutes were very well-done, if not severely predictable, like the rest of the film. The animation is well-done, if not average for the bar set by Tim Burton animated movies. The animation does have a slight unique rag-doll quality that was pretty cute for the first ten minutes. Some of the sub-plots are very interesting to watch. But none of this makes this memorable. It will pass time without too much problem, but it's nothing you're going to remember the rest of your life, because, as I said, the story is so unoriginal.
I realize this review is going to be unpopular, and, quite honestly, I don't care. I have standards, and I'm not going to lower them just because this is a children's film. I've seen countless children's films with originality and real imagination, but Coraline just doesn't have any. It's generic coming-of-age horror with a generic character and a generic moral that you've heard in fairy tales before you were old enough to talk. So, really, what's the big deal? What is everyone raving about? Even if you were to only focus on the positive, it's hard to ignore that hollow feeling in your gut. The one that comes when you realize the movie you think you enjoy is just another generic rehash. That certainly isn't the magical feeling you're supposed to get when you watch children's movies, now is it?
3/10