Dull as ditch water

Rating: 1/10 (3 October 2009)

This film is perfect! Perfect if you enjoy tediously boring and clichéd CGI films, that is. The part where Coraline discovers a hidden door in the old house the family have just moved into (yawn) is a case in point. And the CGI direction is completely uninspired. Instead of attempting to be inventive, the director simply performs lots of 'virtual' camera zooms and boom movements.
The best thing about this film is the opening credits sequence, showing an old doll being given a complete makeover by some kind of robot. Seeing that, I thought to myself "I like this film already!" - oh, but what a lesson in why one should not be too hasty in ones judgements. The computer-generated images get gradually less imaginative and more amateurish with every sorry minute that the film drags on. It's like all the energy went into those opening couple of minutes.
I confess I didn't finish the film. I just couldn't justify to myself why I should waste any more of my life on this cynical, soulless, unimaginative CGI-by-numbers rubbish. I made it to just about half way, and only then by extracting two of my teeth with pliers to prevent my mind being numbed completely by this dirge. I maybe could have persisted with the film, but only by sticking pins in my testicles - and I decided I preferred the 'just walk away' option.
Take my advice. Save your testicles. Just walk away.