We Get it: Angels are just as insecure and petty

Rating: 6/10 (28 December 2005)

The fanbase for this latest attempt at summarizing chaotic existence dominated by God, his Angels and the Devil comes from readers of DC Comics Vertigo line, where-in sincere attempts at adult storytelling surfaced following in the footsteps of Alan Moore's groundbreaking work on the old "Swamp Thing" comic book series, which gave rise to the 'graphic novel' term, rather than the standard 'comic book' label. Moore developed his own take on theological discussion, creating intricate modern mythology using established comic book characters; his was the benefaction on the series this film is based on. Everything was there for the taking and just needed to be ably translated into film form.
An immediate setback is the casting of the still boyish-looking Keanu as the self-destructive weary title character. Everything from his mannerisms to his forced approach to depression rings false; when he pounces on another in a long line of cigarettes, you just think 'fake.' Constantine should appear and behave even older than he actually is; instead, he seems younger. I don't have a problem with cute little jokes, as in the lettering on the taxi he exits near the beginning, but when he proceeds to struggle with some demon (imitating classic scenes from "The Exorcist"), no sense of horror is conveyed, just a lapse into parody ('hey, dude, get outta that girl's body, OK?'). Unfair? Maybe. Or maybe I'm tired of excuses made for Keanu, who really needs another 30 years of life experience to project what's required here. But that's just a guess; probably nothing would help. Unfortunately, Rachel Weisz is another actor who just leaves me cold. As we're supposed to sympathize with her and root for her protection from dark forces, this creates another serious drawback to the story. The two main characters are the weakest links in the picture.
So where does that leave us? The finale. Most of the picture is forgettable, a plodding by the motions until the revelations of the final 20 minutes. As mentioned elsewhere, some elements of this story bear an uncanny resemblance to the more eclectic "The Prophecy" from 1995 (not "Prophecy" from '79, a whole other monster story). By chance or design, the angel Gabriel here (Swinton) actually adheres more to the description of popular lore, being essentially female. But Swinton scores another coup, projecting an otherworldly persona (she's now the 'go to' actor for inhuman beings, as in the Narnia movie later in the year), as easily as Keanu fumbled his attempt at gravitas. It's the plot of "The Prophecy" transposed to the final revelatory minutes of "Constantine" which at least makes for interesting, even repeat, viewing. And why stop with one petty, misguided angel? May as well throw in the latest interpretation of Satan (Stormare), here a somewhat immature sourpuss, into the mix. Stir. Result? Constantine outsmarts them all? Tell me another one.