Add a Holy Hand Grenade and Killer Rabbits and you've got something.

Rating: 2/10 (21 February 2005)

This is probably the silliest movie about Catholicism since Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The only problem is, this movie takes itself seriously.
Although this film doesn't have a Holy Hand Grenade, it does have a Holy Shotgun. It doesn't have killer rabbits, but it does have demons made out if flies and crabs.
Okay, I admit I have never read the comics this movie is based on, but really! The androgynous Angel Gabriel with hair done up like a sideshow half-man, half woman? A little more creativity would have been nice.
All the characters in this film, except the computer generated ones, seem lethargic. Its as if they're all just getting over the flu or something. Of course, with all those early close-ups of the cigarettes Keanu's character, Constantine, is smoking, you can pretty much guess what his problem is going to be (not many surprises in this movie.).
Everyone on Earth seems to be having such an absolutely miserable time of it, you wonder why they even put up a fight. The depiction of Hell in this film is quite a bit livelier than the depiction of L.A.. Hell almost seems an improvement. Just a bit of urban decay and some fire and brimstone... nothing a bit of cleaning up and a good air conditioner wouldn't take care of.
In summary, if they made a Matrix Episode 12, it would probably be like this movie: sullen, confusing, dark and pointless.