For the hell of it

Rating: 5/10 (5 March 2005)

CONSTANTINE is, in essence, two separate movies. One is a thrilling and sophisticated horror film, acted by a vibrant and well-selected supporting cast and directed by a young and promising new feature film director. The other is an atrociously written and clumsily executed action turkey, a shameless ego platform for a schlocky actor and for some big-name producers looking to make a quick million at the box office. When they are presented as a two-hour film, we see elements of both, often in alternation, sometimes simultaneously, but never coherently. The entire movie feels unbalanced, as if the scriptwriters worked in total independence of one another during the writing process.
CONSTANTINE is an adaption of the Hellblazer comic book series - which regrettably, in the wake of stinkers like DAREDEVIL and THE PUNISHER, only detracts from its credibility. It is set against the background of the eternal struggle between Heaven and Hell, which has reached a detente of sorts - the servants of both kingdoms may no longer directly combat one another on the mortal plane, a condition referred to as "the Balance". Enter John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), an exorcist who has dedicated himself to banishing all the demons present on Earth in violation of the Balance. If you thought Reeves was intolerably wooden in THE MATRIX trilogy, you ain't seen nothing yet. This is, without a doubt, his most uninspired performance to date. His lines are mumbled and incoherently modulated, his delivery is lifeless and unconvincing, and his attempted smoker's cough is the fakest and most irritating I've ever heard. It doesn't help that, apart from a few ingenious smart-arse remarks, his character that might have been scripted by a six-year-old. Constantine is a role that requires the gritty sophistication of someone like Ray Liotta or Wesley Snipes, and it is searingly euphemistic to say that Keanu Reeves was miscast.
Perhaps all that saves this from becoming a glitzy "Keanu stinkfest", as valleyjerk so appropriately expressed it, is Rachel Weisz. She transcends the limitations of the half-baked script, which sometimes feels like it was thought up at three in the morning, to put on a brilliant characterisation as Angela Dodson, a deeply religious detective whose twin sister commits suicide under chilling circumstances. Desperate to arrange her a Catholic funeral, she seeks Constantine's aid. Thankfully, most of the dialogue is left to Weisz hereafter, while Keanu sticks mainly to the demon-shooting as they unravel an Infernal plot to begin a reign of Hell on Earth, orchestrated by the unhinged angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton). While, upon reflection, the plot is quite well-written and entertaining, the incoherent script, which ranges in quality from mind-numbingly cretinous to incisively lucid, means that it unfolds rather jerkily. It's a bumpy ride, to say the least.
Despite its crippling faults, CONSTANTINE is certainly a beautifully-presented movie, with creative and immerse cinematography, a good soundtrack by Klaus Badelt, and stunning special effects. And, although the screen-hogging Keanu is woeful, the supporting cast is excellent. Djimon Hounsou, Tilda Swinton, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Gavin Rossdale and Peter Stormare, who almost single-handedly steals the show as Satan himself, all act brilliantly. Shia laBeouf gives us yet another energetic performance as Constantine's neglected young sidekick - he is beginning to shake his teen-star sensibilities and come into his own as a supporting actor. Regrettably, they all have too little screen time to breathe life into the film. Rossdale, Vince and laBeouf are killed off; Stormare doesn't appear until the end; Hounsou and Swinton make appearances close to the beginning, and are then simply forgotten for forty minutes or so.
While CONSTANTINE is not just another schlock-horror action flick, it may prove to be the downfall of Keanu Reeves' career, and it's been an embarrassing start for director Francis Lawrence. While Lawrence's skillful direction cannot quite rise above the appalling script in CONSTANTINE, hopefully he will have another chance to prove himself in the near future. Hopefully, this film has garnered some well-deserved Hollywood attention for Peter Stormare and Rachel Weisz, and forced the big production companies to think twice before rolling off another comic-book adaption. Overall, it's a higher-brow VAN HELSING - it should entertain you for a Saturday afternoon, but as a serious film, it stinks. 5/10.