Hellacool

Rating: 8/10 (20 July 2012)

Constantine is a movie about the exploits of a surly chain smoking exorcist who goes by the name of John Constantine. Towards the start of the film he receives some bad news regarding his future prospects, and this bad news coupled with the revelation that once he dies he is unavoidably hell bound go some way to explaining perhaps why indeed he is so irrefutably surly. And who could blame him? Now I know that Keanu Reeves has got his fair share of critics, his range of emotional depth isn't wondrous to behold and he's never really going to bring you to tears, however I think all this makes him perfect for the role. His character never really betrays any depth or emotion, because he's not supposed to. He's supposed to be cool, and like it or not, Keanu Reeves can be cool.
His knowledge of the occult is explained to the viewer through his association with the inexperienced characters of the film, namely Shia Labeouf and more frequently Rachel Weisz. Weisz gives a decent performance, she provides the female lead of the movie but never really manages to grab your attention or steal any of the scenes she is in. The usually very watchable Shia on the other hand is almost completely superfluous and his irksome performance is as easily forgettable as his turn in I, Robot was (yes he was in I, robot). Now I've never read the Hellblazer comics/graphic novels that the movie is based on and so I don't know whether "Kramer, Chaz Kramer" is a noteworthy enough character as the Robin to Constantines Batman to demand his inclusion into the movie, no matter how weak his portrayal. I imagine he must be. Either way, he's not really worth mentioning.
Other notable characters include Tilda Swantons genderly challenged Gabriel who is the liaison between Constantine and God (of all people), Djimon Honsous clearly biased Voodoo shaman Papa Midnight and a horrendously cringey Balthazaar, all of whom share various levels of animosity with Constantine. The most enjoyably performance though comes from Lucifer himself, portrayed by an excellent Peter Stormore in a very memorable scene. I can't discuss that too much though as his appearance takes place in the latter stages of the film, dangerously close to spoiler territory.
The lack of any conventional love interest between the leading male and leading lady is refreshing and the bleak post apocalyptic depiction of hell with the semi-headless demons scuttling along through the wreckage of dilapidated cars and decrepit buildings is genuinely creepy. In fact the film is visually very pleasing, maintaining it's dark and stylish mood throughout.
This film is not going to confuse you or make you think too hard, it's not going to move you or change the way you look at the world. It's just something to sit back, watch and enjoy. It's plot is fairly linear, but it works. There's little in the way of character development or chemistry, but that works too. I'm aware that it's not going to be for everyone, and given its (in my opinion) strangely low current score I'm sure there will be other reviews the polar opposite of mine who claim Keanu was a poor casting choice and that the lovable scamp Shia is the only saving grace of an otherwise empty and soulless film, and I understand why some people won't have liked it. I know there are other people who didn't like this movie because they found it to be nothing at all like their beloved Hellblazer comics (and from what I've read, they're probably right), but there's always going to be people who dismiss something that doesn't hold true to the original rather than judging it on its own merit. At the end of the day though, I think your opinion of this film boils down to one thing, whether you think it's cool or not. And I liked it. I thought it was cool.