A God-Awful (no pun intended) Abomination of a Movie

Rating: 2/10 (10 December 2005)

This has truly to be one of the worst comic-to-screen adaptations I've seen in many years - if not the worst.
Firstly: the casting of Keanu Reeves as John Constantine literally boggles me (I'll say nothing about the hair or accent).
This movie is nothing more than a series of CG demon encounters wrapped under 110 minutes of a movie that bears little, if any, resemblance to the comic. It has none of the wit, cleverness, or any of the character of the Hellblazer series. It's just an insipid and weak money-making device and nothing more.
It's that terrible. Reeves' acting is typically wooden, although - bless him - he does try to utter those Constantine lines with such conviction - and fails miserably. Of all the actors available, why the directors chose him is literally - well, I can't even find a word for it, but it's something way beyond unbelievable.
This is such a complete and utter shambles of a movie, I find it hard to say anything nice about it. As a general movie - it's bad; as a Constantine movie movie, it's simply appalling.
It bares little, if any, resemblance to the comic. In fact, it was so bad, it reminded me of that hideous Doctor Strange movie of the 70s, where clearly, the producers had never actually read the comic strip.
In summary: Constantine is living proof that everyone has their price. The creators of Hellblazer are clearly comfortable with their universe being hacked to pieces for a few million dollars.
A travesty that should be sent back to hell.