Highly Stylized CRAP

Rating: 2/10 (29 June 2006)

What do you get when you mix: 1. The highly stylized look of the Matrix 2. The Bible - Featuring, in no particular order: --- A Paul Lynde look-alike as Satan --- A hermaphrodite as the arch-angel Gabriel --- The very wooden Keanu Reeves as a wooden man looking for salvation 3. Special Effects out the Wazoo
Well, it's clear : You get Constantine, the movie. This thing is dreadful. Convoluted and dreadful. If the plot isn't offensive enough to Christians (which it will be), it's nothing short of INSULTING to the non-believers amongst us. I'm sure, reading a few other reviews, that this was based on a book. I'm sure this movie was bad enough to make me avoid that book.
Enough talk of Constantine, I'm going to watch something else now so that I can get that crap off my mind.
PS... The 2 is for the amusing special effects. It wasn't a bad rendering of hell :)