Waste of money, time, and brain power. *SPOILER*

Rating: 3/10 (3 March 2005)

Constantine is the worst movie I have seen in theaters since Maximum Risk. The acting is horrible. Keanu Reeves must've taken some anti-acting classes. It's almost surreal how bad his acting is at times. Were those really the best takes?! Wow. He's like a combination of William Shatner and...himself. The film is filled with a bunch of relative nobodies, and it shows. The interaction between characters is awkward more often than not, and even the attempted humor in the film barely qualifies as funny.
*SPOILERS BELOW* The plot is even worse. Nevermind the blasphemy and religious inaccuracies, the movie contradicts itself and never really explains much. But what really gets me is that the movie is one giant anti-smoking ad. The director makes it a point to accent every time Keanu lights one up. Then, the he gets lung cancer and coughs up every 12 minutes. Yet he keeps smoking. Finally, at the very end of the film Satan lets him live by removing the cancer from his lungs, just so that Constantine doesn't get to go to heaven. John promptly starts chewing nicotine gum in the last scene of the movie. They might as well have slapped the "Truth" label at the end of the movie. Horrendous.
Having said that, there were a couple of decent moments. The shock factor with the car at the beginning, the hell scene, and Satan himself were the few bright spots in the movie. Yes, I said Satan was a bright spot. He is, after all, also known as the Morning Star.