'Constantine': Guilty Pleasure

Rating: 4/10 (28 February 2005)

OK, wow, 'Constantine' sucked the big one. Keanu is annoying as ever with this horrible rhythm in his dialogues, even worse than Neo. Rachel Weisz plays an OK curious detective. Shia LeBeouf . . . well, I'm not sure he was even necessary. Djimoun Hounsou was the only character I liked (other than Peter Stormare as Satan), and that mainly had to do with the fact that he was on screen so little. The writing sucked, the direction lacked . . . well, direction, and the whole movie had way too much CGI (this coming from the guy who liked 'Matrix Reloaded'). Yet, why do I like this movie? It's because it falls into the category of "so bad, they're funny" movies (aka guilty pleasures). This was definitely a guilty pleasure movie and I will be glad to go see it again. Sure, they're playing off 'the Matrix' and 'the Prophecy'. Sure, they generalize Christianity into just Catholicism (like most of Hollywood). Sure, there are blatant advertisements throughout the film. But it was entertaining to watch and make fun of. Think 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'. I rarely can come up with as many side comments when watching a movie as I could with 'Constantine.' As long as you go into this movie without taking any of it seriously, you can have a pretty good time with it. As far as the movie goes, it's about a 2-out-of-5 stars. But it's rather entertaining if you're willing to laugh at it.