Keanu Reeves farts a stinker on the Bible.

Rating: 5/10 (25 April 2006)

Constantine, Action-Horror
Whoa.
Look at all the demons. I guess... Constantine. Been there, done that, but generally better than this.
Constantine follows Keanu Reeves as Jon Constantine as he once again attempts acting. This time, Reeves plays the savior of humanity fighting off demons who are trying to get into the world. With the plot revolving around... well, many of the same ideas we've seen before. Prophecy, End of Days, even Dogma all had similar stories to this. So let's get on with the specifics.
Here's the breakdown:
The Good:
--Demons versus angels in a battle for earth. Fun stuff.
--Decent amount of demons shown off.
--Hell looks pretty cool.
--Lots of violence, lots of action.
--Excellent cinematography. A lot of flair.
Didn't Hurt It, Didn't Help:
--Constantine is just like the savior in other films of this nature--one way or another, they all have the special necessary gift required to save humanity from demonic/angelic invasion. His is that he can see demons and angels and knows all the right people to help him fight them. Also, he has the typical "just now fell into this ordeal" sidekick in Rachel Weisz. So it's getting to be a tad cliché around here.
--Decent music, a bit better than I was expecting.
--Very little cursing, no nudity.
--Somewhat average gore, but all of it pretty heavily CG.
The Bad:
--Keanu Reeves. His, "I'm the ultra-cool egomaniacal badass" meandering acting is once again a downside. Cliché to the max, if you will. He's as hard to take as ever. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting work?
--Some very cliché moments and predictability. For instance, Keanu Reeves' smoking is killing him, but of course, he's too much of a badass to quit, until the inevitable moment of inspiration when he finally finds reason to quit smoking and to quit being the selfish badass. Which, of course, happens to coincide with the film's climax.
--Wildly overabundant CG. Every single demon, no matter the capacity, is done with computer graphics.
--Ridiculous over-use of CG-assisted blurring and distorting of backgrounds and visuals to make "transitional" effects.
--Awkward pacing and a lack of character development.
--Some excessively cheesy dialog.
The Ugly:
--"Been there, done that" story.
--Again, Keanu Reeves. Trying to act.
--The film seems to be flashy for the sake of flashiness. As in, things were done for the "oh wow" factor rather than to benefit the story or create intensity.
Memorable Scene:
--Keanu Reeves flipping off Lucifer. Because it was f*cking stupid!
Acting: 4/10 , Story: 6/10 , Atmosphere: 7/10 , Cinematography: 8/10 , Character Development: 5/10 , Special Effects/Make-up: 6/10 , Nudity/Sexuality: 0/10 , Violence: 7/10 , Gore: 6/10 , Dialog: 5/10 , Music: 7/10 , Direction: 5/10
Cheesiness: 5/10 , Crappiness: 3/10
Overall: 5/10
So, this film is really nothing too special. It's a decent romp, but Keanu Reeves and the dialog are really holding it back. More so than even those overly CG special effects. If you simply can't get enough Keanu or Biblical-Demon/Angel-Apocalypse movies, then you may get a kick out of it. For the average movie-goer, it falls short of being anything really memorable.
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