Angels and demons and Satan, Oh My!

Rating: 6/10 (22 February 2005)

CONSTANTINE (2005) ** Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounsou, Max Baker, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Gavin Rossdale, Tilda Swinton, Peter Stormare. Big screen adaptation of cult DC/Vertigo comics/graphic novel "Hellblazer" is a hodgepodge of incoherency with Reeves as world-weary and cancer riddled cigarette chain smokin' John Constantine, an LA based detective of the supernatural who must face his demons (metaphorical and paraphysical to boot) in order to attempt buying his way into heaven by eradicating the world of all its evils while assisting an LA police detective (Weisz) investigating her identical twin's apparent suicide that appears to be linked to The Spear of Destiny  got all that?! The visual effects are a mix of god awful and awesome which may be the best way to describe the carnage dichotomy to Reeves' brooding, implosive turn that is the glue barely holding the film's elements all together no thanks to the screwy screenplay by Kevin Brodbin and Frank A. Cappello and Francis Lawrence's inert direction. More miss than hit.