I Liked This Movie

Rating: 9/10 (3 March 2005)

Reading the negative reviews here on IMDb, I wanted to say I liked the movie. Yes, it wasn't perfect. I thought there were too many characters and unexplained actions happening in the first 15 minutes, but that is what made the movie a mystery, and I like mysteries. Much of the fun was trying to figure out who everyone was and why they were doing the odd things they did. Reviewers who said they couldn't understand the plot, either you didn't try to understand it, or you REALLY didn't watch this movie at all, or you just aren't very smart.
Another thing I didn't care for, as another reviewer pointed out, was for a gay, weirdo, Italian Godfather-type Satan. As the lord of Hell, he didn't seem that scary, but he acted like a creepy old gay man who was trying to kiss Keanu, while running his hands up his legs, and leering at his crotch. Yes, a lot of gay men want to do this to Keanu, but I didn't like it. If I'm going to pay money to see a gay man make-out with Keanu, I would like it be romantic, not creepy.
For the reviewers who raved about the great job Stomare did as Satan, I felt the actress who played Satan in "The Passion" did a FAR BETTER job portraying the beautiful scariness of Lucifer. Lucifer means light, he shone with beauty but was full of evil wickedness. When Jesus is resurrected, we see his TRUE evil self as he howls and screams. Actually, the Balthazzar character, handsome and sexy on the outside, but completely evil inside, was a much better portrayal of Satan in this film than what they ended up with.
For all the reviewers who hate Keanu just because he is alive, I say, "Nobody wants to sit here wasting their time reading about how much HATE you have in your heart for him". It's too bad that most of you will be going to Hell, since your souls are consumed with such hatred for Keanu, there is NO way that you will be going to heaven. If you can't stand watching him, then why are you paying money to go see his films? The answer is, most of you are not telling the truth when you say you saw this movie. You wouldn't have paid money to see your anti-Christ, Mr. Reeves. If you had seen this film, you would have enjoyed it better.
The reviewers who said Rachel was the best thing in the movie, well, she was good. But she wasn't the best. The SFX was the best part of the film. The special effects were some of the best ever. (Although the bug demon was kinda weird.) The scenes of hell were great, the demons scary. I wish those scenes had gone on longer, but they were expensive, so they didn't. Heaven was beautiful, but we only saw it for couple of seconds at the end. The bullet-time glass at the end was great.
For the reviewers who said the film had humorous lines, intentional and unintentional, I agree with you. There was subtle humor, and some in-your-face humor. I laughed when Keanu hits Balthazzar with his specially made brass knuckles. I thought it was clever when they mass-produced Holy Water in the hospital's water system, a very unique way to SPRAY Holy Water on a crowd of demons.
For the comic purists who say the film is horrible because it doesn't match the comics in every detail: One, after 200 issues of comics, the movie would have been 3 years long. Two, make your own version, see if you could do any better. Yes, it would be nice if they were as faithful as LOTR, but that was a 10 hour trilogy, this wasn't. AND LOTR was not 100% faithful either. This movie was good in it's own way, and I liked it better being set in the hellish Los Angeles of smog-covered California, than the gay London of Europe. There is no way that Jude Law or another Brit could have done as good a performance in this film as Keanu did. PERIOD.
Yes, I own some of the early Hellblazer comics, up to #56. Stopped buying them when Prince Charles was possessed by a demon who ate his victims. They made Prince Charles a cannibal Jack The Ripper. Back in the early 1990's I found that offensive. Now that we have learned more about what the real Prince Charles is like, I don't think the comic was so off-the-mark as I did 13 years ago. When I was buying Hellblazer, they weren't Vertigo titles. I guess Vertigo came later. I was also buying early Sandman comics at that time also.
My conclusion: The film is for adults (no children under 15) with great special effects, an interesting mystery type story in a dark film-noir setting. Keanu is good, and sexy (he should have filmed the movie shirtless), the supporting actors were good. Stay after the credits to see a surprise ending, which leads to a sequel (like the Pirates OTC ending does).
Movie's Philosophy: There is a Hell, and Heaven, and God and Satan, demons and angels, whether you want to believe or not. There is a war going on for the souls of humans. If you wish to be redeemed and go to heaven, believing in God is not enough, you must be repentant, TRULY repenting your sinful life. You must be willing, like Jesus, to SACRIFICE yourself for others if necessary. Good eventually wins out over evil, though it may take a while. Sometimes good people die, but they go to Heaven, not Hell, as their ETERNAL reward. After we see Hell, we understand why humans would want to go to Heaven instead.
See this film for yourself, don't listen to Keanu-hating reviewers who probably didn't see the film anyway.