Watch this movie or the bunny gets it.

Rating: 8/10 (23 March 2012)

"Con Air" is simply the perfect movie to watch if the viewer wants nothing more than to be entertained in high style for two hours. The beauty of it is, the filmmakers *know* this ain't exactly the smartest movie out there, far from it, but they do a superb job of taking this goofy escapism to a delightfully over the top place, blowing up stuff REAL good and giving us a bunch of memorable characters, starting with hero Nicolas Cage as former Army Ranger Cameron Poe, jailed for killing a man in self defense, and now being paroled. On his flight home is a delicious assortment of the worst of the worst, society's unrepentant scum featuring such people as rapist "Johnny-23" (Danny Trejo), black militant "Diamond Dog" (Ving Rhames), and mass murderer "Billy Bedlam" (Nick Chinlund), as well as guys like "Swamp Thing" (M.C. Gainey), "Pinball" (Dave Chappelle), and Hannibal Lecter like psychopath Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi). Presiding over all is crafty nut job Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom, played by John Malkovich, who plays the role with true gusto. The law is shown is to be pretty incompetent here, as typified by Colm Meaney's obnoxious D.E.A. agent Duncan Malloy. But, hey, at least they've got Vince Larkin (John Cusack) on their side, the only guy other than Poe who has more than half a brain in his head. The decibel level is cranked way up in this flashy, snazzy action movie that has many inspired moments. One's got to believe that a fair amount of this humour was intentional. The fate of the sneaky drug dealer Francisco Cindino (Jesse Borrego) is a hoot, and it serves as yet another fine example of the necessity in action movies to come up with appropriate witticisms when bad guys bite the dust. Another perfect moment shows that there are MUCH worse things that can mess up a car other than bird poop. Use of the Lynyrd Skynyrd classic "Sweet Home Alabama" is inspired. Buscemi, who's great as always, steals his scenes and has some of the best lines; the filmmakers show some brevity in intimating who could be his next victim. Lovely ladies Monica Potter and Rachel Ticotin hold their own well, but this is still very much a show for the guys, who are sure to appreciate it. The special effects are excellent and the pacing flawless - these two hours go by quicker than one would think. Granted, the movie does feature at least two climaxes, but by the time it's over it's a guarantee that all the bad guys will get theirs. And Cage is just a gas, right from that hairdo to the overdone accent. Nobody can say this guy ever gives too little to a role. And Mykelti Williamson is effectively likable as his diabetic buddy who motivates his actions for much of the story. All in all, "Con Air" is purely fun Hollywood nonsense, right from start to finish. Watch it and you'll realize the importance of leaving stuffed animals where you find them. Eight out of 10.