La Creme De La Crap

Rating: 1/10 (6 July 2001)

This movie may very well be the epitome of the brainless, contrived action flick. Nicolas Cage (convicted of a crime he didn't commit, naturally) looks like Fabio's anemic half-brother, posing for GQ and spouting Schwarzeneggeresque lines that will leave you dumbfounded, while John Malkovich has apparantly learned to act in his sleep. Stupid, does not begin to explain this movie, but stupid is how felt because I actually watched the whole damn thing.