Con Job

Rating: 6/10 (14 March 2001)

Lessee, let me get this straight. Nicholas Cage plays a decorated veteran of the Persian Gulf War. A Ranger, Cage knows dozens of ways to kill. His first day home, Cage goes to pick up his wife (a luscious Monica Potter), defends himself against three low-lifes, and kills one. Cage is then railroaded into an 8-10 year sentence for involuntary manslaughter (which usually carries about 2-4, most places). Right, I can see a Southern judge maximum sentencing a decorated veteran with no previous criminal history (or, as the film spells out, a minor one). But, hey, it gets better. Cage, a "model prisoner" is paroled after 8 years (what, no time off for good behaviour?). Then, catching a Marshall's flight on his way home (why not have the wife come pick you up?) finds himself aboard a aircraft hijacked by "Cyrus the Virus" (John Malcovitch) and the baddest bunch of baddies this side of the WWF (By the way, is this where the casting director GOT these guys? The casting is the best thing about the movie; these guys really look like mean "muthas." So far, so good; even though the security seems a bit too lax (compared to, say, U.S. MARSHALLS), there's enough clever action (as well as the known incomptence of federal authorities) to let this quibble pass. It is, however, at this point the movie gets sappy. CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD Cage gives up the perfect opportunity to get off the plane in order to save a "friend," a black con whom is diabetic and will die without his insulin. This subplot is so condescendingly handled, it plays like a skit borrowed from IN LIVING COLOR. Second, Cage is simply too good at dispatching some really dangerous guys. Unlike DIE HARD, where the viewer's confidence gradually builds in Bruce Willis, one never doubts Cage can get the job done, no matter how implausible. It gets worse. When the prison guards find Malcovitch's plans, which he has conveniently left behind, they are blown up by a bomb AFTER they know what he plans to do. Wouldn't Malcovitch have boobytrapped the OPENING of his little hideaway or destroyed his plans. Okay, maybe "Cyrus the Virus" IS that much of an egotist. Then they throw in Steve Buscemi as this movies' Hannibal Lector, build us up with horror stories, then give Buscemi absolutely nothing to do except wisecrack. What a shame. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if Buscemi had been allowed to dispatch one of the major baddies? Further, they expect us to believe the DEA "hardass" (Colm Meaney) whom has believed in "shoot first ..." during the ENTIRE movie would not shoot down the airplane, when it will likely crash into highly populated Las Vegas with a tremendous loss of life and property. Ain't gonna happen, folks.
Finally, the movies' dispatching of Malcovitch is so "Rube Goldbergian," I thought someone had slipped in a couple scenes from BOTH TERMINATOR movies.
Good action, performances and a great song (HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT YOU?) is not enough. CON AIR is too manipulative to be believed. CON JOB is more like it.