A very frustrating experience

Rating: 5/10 (5 October 2018)

Let's get one thing out of the way - Pawel Pawlikowski is a talented beast. He knows what he wants aesthetically, he makes sure his films are the perfect visual experiences with nice music and great editing - something you don't get too often in polish mainstream cinema - and he is overall a decent guy. I enjoyed Ida less than most people, but I respect that film. At least you could call it a coherent story.
When it comes to Cold War, however, things get tricky. It looks and sounds fantastic. It's a technical marvel, at least by polish standards. Having said that, you'd be better off watching it without sound.
The story is a mess. The characters are walking tropes. The actors (except for Agata Kulesza and Tomasz Kot, who don't disappoint) don't seem to know what they are doing. The dialogue is simply laughable and the pacing is so terrible, I can't even describe it without swearing.
How am I supposed to believe in love between two people, if we aren't shown any? And yes, it is supposedly a story about a mismatched couple that can't live without each other - what a shame there is absolutely no chemistry, nothing but point-blank declarations from the characters. I believe that you need much more than sex on screen and a person saying "I love you" to portray a touching romantic experience. Because if this film isn't a romance, what do we have left?
It leaves out important parts of the story, like relationship development. The ending is a joke (historic accuracy much?). Joanna Kulig is infuriating. Borys Szyc left me screaming in frustration.
It's a shallow film that tries really hard to be much more than it ends up being. It won't bring anything into a viewer's life, maybe except for passionate discourses about said flick on parties. But those discourses annoy everyone, so the only two people really benefitting are Pawlikowski and your inner critic. A very disappointing movie.