ow ow ow ow, this movie hurts

Rating: Null/10 (2 January 2004)

HERE THERE BE SPOILERS
However, if you haven't seen this movie, i would recommend you don't. This is a chick flick, plain and simple. Sure, they added a few battle scenes, put in some rather disgusting characters, and generally annoyed the hell out of me with Kidman's ability to act totally useless, in terms of farming and acting ability. Lame dialogue plauges this film (although a few inexplicably awful lines are later mocked by Zelwiger's character). Paying attention, something i found to be a challenge, you realize that every good character eventually got shot (ex: Ethan Suplee's character the banjo player, the ferry girl, the Union soldier who Jude Law let run...) and killed, while Law is shot 2 or 3 times, not counting surviving a big explosion, and makes a miraculous recovery each time, except for his "suprise" death at the end. Oh, the sex scene was a hackneyed cliche, any organism with any amount of sex drive would undoubtedly ask themselves "Ew... do i look like THAT?" In a few words: THIS MOVIE BITES.