Why I thought Cold Mountain was just plain bad.

Rating: 1/10 (16 January 2004)

I could forgive the fact that the movie was shot in Romania (the time and place are a crucial part of the novel full of character and qualified film staff, but remained an untapped resource for the movie). I could forgive that foreign actors were used as leads, presumably for their names, while there are perfectly qualified American, or better yet southern actors available (there was an Australian, an Englishman, a couple Irishmen, and a whole bunch of Romanians; Oh and one great young southern actor, Ethan Suplee with a relatively inconsequential part.). I could forgive the geographical mistakes (if you are in Petersburg, VA start walking south or west or better yet uphill and you will get to Avery County, NC, but you will never see the ocean). I could forgive the lack of true development of a villain or evil (several were suggested, the weakest of which was there for the finale). I could forgive Phillip Seymore Hoffman's British southern fusion accent (Not nearly as bad as Nichole Kidman's or Jude Law's sad attempts at southerners...sad and inconsistent), or Rene Zellweger's comic book interpretation of her comic relief character (she was occasionally amusing after all). I could forgive the soundtrack for leading me by the nose though every pivotal scene like some kind of emotional laugh track (not the bluegrass, the bluegrass was great). I could forgive Natalie Portman for anything (because she is supremely attractive). I could forgive a lot of things, but I'm not gonna. It was just bad. The acting. The interpretation of the story. Character development. The sexual tension. The release of said tension. This is Hollywood hubris at it's best. To be fair everyone worked very hard, and with a different script and a different director this cast could have made one of the greatest movies ever (I have a deep respect for so many actors involved in this movie), and Cold Mountain is a nice vehicle (most of the nice parts of the movie were where Minghella left the book alone), but it just didn't happen. Donald Sutherland was very good along with James Gammon and Giovanni Ribisi. Romania was pretty. Cold Mountain however, was just plain bad.