Intellectually backward bodice ripper

Rating: 2/10 (3 October 2004)

Big names, pretentious photography. Intellectually absent, bodice ripper. It's value is a 5 cent paperback at a flea market [best offer]. Predictable. Lacking in depth. Recommended for spoon fed zombies who lack personality. If you need to be told what is good without recognising it for yourself, you'll appreciate "Cold Mountain".
In other words --- 65% of the population process life via the visual. They most likely will tolerate this movie. 30% process life via the audile -- they will most likely find this movie uncomfortable to sit through due to the lack of dialogue. 5% process life through feeling. They most likely will either love or hate this movie. Why?
Because it is pathetic, rhetorically speaking. Overdone. Over-the-top. Excessive. Over-kill.
See where you fit. Hear it for yourself. Feel free to exercise your own thoughts. It's a democracy, and so crap like this movie can proliferate.
WILL SOMEONE OUT THERE WRITE, DIRECT, AND PRODUCE SOMETHING FOR THE REST OF CIVILIZATION PLEASE? This movie's mundaneness is more exciting than porridge.