Go, Monster, Go!

Rating: 1/10 (13 December 2011)

Oh, my. My, my. Here I was, expecting an interestingly modern monster movie. What I got was...I don't quite know. I only know I kept leaving the sofa to do something else, saying out loud, "Oh, come ON, already." And I have to say, after the first 5 minutes of the opening party scene, I was already cheering for whatever monster was coming. I was rather hoping he'd hurry, too. To be fair, people truly are that tiresome and annoying. They do act like their romances are life-and-death. But this does not especially make me want to see if they can survive hell. What else? Little things. Like, the band of 'heroes' apparently walks from Spring St. to 59th Street through the tunnels? Three miles, one subway tunnel, and the critters, too? Hot damn. Or that no one is insistent that the girl literally ripped apart by the bug get medical attention when they astoundingly walk into a makeshift hospital, because the hero has to explain about his trapped GF first? Or that, traumatized or not, the surviving hero and GF seem to forget that the city's about to be nuked? Or that Hud, the cameraman, is the most severely irritating idiot ever? Or that, as noted elsewhere, the U.S, military is on the scene in full force minutes after the first attack, which ties into why lots of people would think it smart to traverse a bridge when buildings are flying? Ultimately, though, it all comes down to: you just care nothing at all for these people, and the pitiful rescue-the-beloved angle only makes it worse. PS Manhattan, nuked? I'm OK with that.