Don't believe the hype!

Rating: 1/10 (17 January 2008)

I walked into the film with low expectations ... and the film consistently failed to meet them. If we can forget about the fact that the cameraman apparently has Parkinson's disease and is going through drug withdrawal symptoms (note to producers: shaking the camera that much doesn't create suspense unless I want to know what my lunch looks like), there's a whole host of problems that plague this film. The intelligence displayed by not only the characters, but the monster as well is roughly on par with my dog. The plot is non-existent; the film simply happens with no explanations or expansions on anything. The characters are unsympathetic and it's possible to predict what will happen to them an hour in advance. The ending is incredibly unsatisfying, but by that time I simply didn't care. Between the feeling of nausea from the camera, the headache from the dull writing and the boredom in general, I was ready to leave after just an hour. It's like an abusive relationship: there might be times when there's nothing wrong, but you just know there's a kick in the teeth around the corner and the most fun you have with it is when you finally leave. The film had a massive marketing campaign and more hype than any other film I could care to name, but in the end it was quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Whoever wrote this pointless waste of celluloid never should have been allowed near a typewriter, and the only reason I rated it 1/10 is because it's impossible to give this film a lower score.