Increase the national security budget

Rating: 10/10 (20 January 2008)

The question is posed: 'where to begin?' With the legendary film Cloverfield, there are more peas than can possibly fit in the pod, yet it is essential that the cat stay in the bag with regards to the electrifying, life-changing finale which is sure to leave the whole theatre standing in ovation and re-evaluating their purpose on this fragile home we call planet earth. The movie starts with bang- literally. The scene is set with a hilarious party scene, which is sooo funny that you will forget that you came to see a horror movie- reality check!! Before you know it, the movie is descending down a path so dark that you will not be able to see anything, except maybe a terrifying glimpse of the next great threat to national security (which may be lurking just outside in your terrible; mink-lined; 62 degree; heavily chlorinated, yet still algae infested above ground pool that you just had installed).
Fortunately, the movie is not derailed from the path to salvation in the depths of this murky abyss. ALL of the characters (particularly the luvable bumbler Hud, played by the dark horse actor Robert Lauzier) in the movie serve as shining beacons of hope, carrying the audience through a time of uncertainty in a tragic event that could very well strike our dear nation at any waking moment- or a sleeping one for that matter!!! There is no need to worry if you have no imagination, because the special effects were suspiciously realistic, leaving the shivering movie-goer wondering how Paramount could keep the metaphorical old man from his glasses for so long...
Through Beth and Rob's invincible, heterosexual relationship, the movie silently screams the subliminal message that straight love rules all!!! And subtly issues a staunch warning to all those so-called liberals who would force such atrocities as gay marriage and abortion upon us.
In conclusion, you should not see this movie. As a movie connoisseur, the proverbial bar has been raised to the gates of Heaven- and Jesus approves!!! So if you want to reserve your spot beside the big man himself, go see Cloverfield today!!!!