Dozer-field

Rating: 2/10 (13 October 2008)

Oh God, what a joke! This was a joke, right?
No, sadly it wasn't. If it was, and the film-makers had fully-embraced it as a 'monster- spoof' then maybe the complete lack of any discernible, feasible and intelligent plot could be forgiven and we could just get on with laughing at it. They could of perhaps even have woven in some funny jokes and stuff. But no, no, this is for real. This is a real 'woooooh, scary' monster thriller, devastatingly and terrifyingly immersing you in the action through the ingenious (and completely original) decision to film it entirely on handy-cam.
The plot begins at a............oh who cares anyway. Seriously, this excuse for a plot is beyond stupid and i can't even be bothered to go over all the gaping holes and logic failures that litter this rubbish. Just read any of the 1-star reviews on this site; they pretty much sum it up, if you're really interested.
So here's my two stars. One for the feeble attempt to assemble some sort of plot to carry this tripe, together with the cast and their half-hearted acting (all forming one single, shiny star) and the second for the technically well-executed CGI effects.
Right, i'm off to find that nuclear-resistant, reinforced-titanium poly-alloy, fission-powered, night-vision-enabled super-handy-cam, and give the makers of this film a bloody good thrashing with it until they realise that we don't want to know what the conclusion was and that making 'Cloverfield 2: They Have Found Us Again' would be a really, really monstrous idea.