(spoilers) Don't Believe The Hype (spoilers)

Rating: 3/10 (19 January 2008)

***SPOILERS!***
I wont deny that CLOVERFIELD delivers $8 of entertainment, but it falls far short of what it claims to be.
CLOVERFIELD negates its "found footage" schtick again and again. The exposition is blatant and forced - you constantly feel the writer leaning over and telling you the story rather than allowing you to put the pieces together yourself - mainly for the sake of establishing a generic lovestory no one came to see. It feels about as real as episode of THE REAL WORLD, complete with confessionals + backstory flashbacks. The "camcorder" POV works only if you buy that these kids make home movies with the same rig THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM was shot on. It looks way too good. Why not use a real consumer-grade camcorder? - if not for realism, than at least to hide your Xbox-level CGI. The director consciously breaks the illusion by allowing the cam's date mark to conveniently and inexplicably disappear once the action kicks in.
Whoever started praising CLOVERFIELD as a Re-invention of the Monster Movie did this film a huge disservice. The plot is nearly identical to just about any 1950's monster movie. All the narrative contrivances are there - The Sacrificed Family Member, The Quest to Save The Girl Despite All Odds, The Bumbling Sidekick, The Cynical Victim - just rewrapped in American Apparel and shot in shaky-vision. The only supposedly new element here is the "camcorder POV"/"found footage" angle - its been done dozens of times - and this is the least convincing example I've yet to see.
Its comical how many times the gang crosses paths with the monster. Critics often belittle an action film as a "theme park ride", but this is the first I've seen that actually feels like you're riding the tracks at Universal Studios Florida - on a coaster that loops around the beast again and again and again. I like those rides - and this is a fun one, but its hardly a great movie, and I can't imagine it having much of a life on home video.
ps - In my opinion, as over-the-top as THE MIST gets, it succeeds in nearly every way this movie falls short.