Blair Witch meets Godzilla via Aliens.... in a BAAAAD way

Rating: 1/10 (15 February 2008)

I went to see Cloverfield with very high expectations; the trailers had got my attention, and I enjoyed "Lost" which had the same writer. I was expecting something that was fresh, original, with a decent storyline and quality dialog.
Unfortunately, this film was a huge disappointment; it offered none of the above. The story is told from the viewpoint of one of the characters that has a hand-held camcorder, and as a consequence the pictorial style of the movie is very similar to "Blair Witch", e.g. jerky camera shots in an attempt to make the film more "realistic". Unfortunately, this becomes extremely annoying after 15 minutes or so, and as a ploy to make the audience think they watching an amateur recording it is totally destroyed by the incredible sound quality, supposedly from the same source.
In addition, there isn't a storyline as such; some people are having a party, and a destructive creature suddenly appears and trashes the city they are in. There is no explanation of where the creature came from, or what it is. It's a pure lift from any Godzilla movie. The rest of the movie is simply watching the jerky camcorder follow the characters (albeit with incredible sound quality) through the city as first they try to escape, and then have to turn back to find the true love of one of the characters. Yes, it really *is* that clichéd.
After that, the storyline (what is left of it) gets steadily more and more ridiculous. The characters go into a subway and are attacked by face hugger outtakes from "Aliens". The army take them into custody, but instead of evacuating them they let them go because - hey! - the male lead is going back to find his true love. So much for realism ;) The girl they're looking for is trapped in a tower block that has been attacked by the alien, and which is collapsing, but which has conveniently not fallen over completely but just come to lean against another tower block... the same as you see in any war zone - NOT. When they climb the tower to find the girl, she is pinned down by a steel rod through her shoulder. However, they pull her free, and despite the resultant blood loss she is soon running around the city like a spring chicken trying to escape. Again, so much for realism ;)
The key fault with Cloverfield is that is it an unholy marriage of two totally conflicting styles; the realistic, camcorder style of "Blair Witch" that records the relationship between the characters, and the desire to use that same style to give some indication of the enormity of the alien that is destroying the city. It simply doesn't work, specially when it is hampered by a script that becomes more and more implausible by the minute.
Cloverfield has no outstanding dialog, no character development, no plausible plot line, and no sense of realism. The special effects are reasonable, but they weren't what I came to see. It really is that bad, and I wasn't the only one to think so. At the end of showing I went to, there was a stunned silence, and then people started laughing... in disbelief that they'd sat and watched such a pile of rubbish.
This is easily a candidate for the worst film of 2008.