foolishness

Rating: 2/10 (13 March 2008)

I apologize sincerely for not having been requisitely (and I do mean requisitely) impressed by this non-starter of a horror film. Frankly, there was not a single identifiable element of the plot or the setting that was not readily demonstrable as derivative of some previous B-movie or other. A purely technical inconsistency also plagues me from the start: how can an ostensibly ninety-foot creature (it looked much, much larger, but that's what the press releases all said) suffer from seven-foot parasites--and how can these be compared to whale lice? Whale lice are teeny, tiny creatures that infest the tiniest crevices, and whales have not the mechanical means (read as "hands") to remove them. A ninety-foot animal having seven-foot parasites equates to a six-foot human being having "parasites" five and one-half inches long: wouldn't the sufferer merely pick them off with his hands and toss them into the gutter? Jeez Louise!