Makes Godzilla 1998 look good!

Rating: 1/10 (17 January 2008)

This has got to be the worst monster movie I have ever seen! Wait, not worst monster movie, worst MOVIE PERIOD! The whole movie is laughable. I sat there in the theater and wanted to know if and when anything was going to start. First, it take almost 25 minutes before this movie even starts to get interesting, and after all of the useless banter of party guests and drunken camera wedding style say "hi" to Rob before he goes to Japan B.S., things start to happen, but slowly. And let me tell you that they could have just use the footage from the trailer and skip about 20 of the most boring minutes of the whole film. That feeling of initial excitement is short lived. As you keep watching nothing happens that keeps your interest. Second, the monster, you get little glimpses of it until about 60-70 minutes into the film, and you get a very big disappointment, it's not Godzilla, a T-Rex, or anything that is even remotely familiar, fun or scary. It looks like someone put the body parts in the wrong places. And it's offspring, there are only three spots in the film that they are even used, as if an after thought. They are used to make two extremely boring parts of the movie more exciting, and it fails miserably. Obviously used to make a short film a tad bit longer. They even look like they where stolen them from Starship Troopers. Both monster and offspring are so underdeveloped, that they just don't work together. If JJ Abrams brought anything back from Japan, it wasn't how to make a monster movie. I'll tell you this, the Japanese are laughing at us all over again! There will be no Cloverfield monster for sale at every little store like all the Godzilla's all over Japan. JJ, Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez called! They want their cameras back, they want to start filming Blair Witch 3! In short, I know, too late, DO NOT WAIST YOUR MONEY ON THIS FILM! The best part of the movie was the ride home.