A derivative unimaginative waste of time and money

Rating: 1/10 (20 January 2008)

I assume that the target market for this movie is people who missed Blaire Witch, all 20+ Godzilla movie, and who have not yet gotten enough of the images of the 911 tragedy. For those viewers this may seem like a fresh and exciting experience. For the rest of us it is an utter failure of creativity and film making.
I was advised to state that my comments on Cloverfield amount to a spoiler. So... Warning : spoiler. But I actually question if there is a spoiler to this film. I personally think in retrospect of having seen the movie, that the trailer is completely honest. The only thing hidden in the trailer is the exact shape of the "entity" that beheads the statue of liberty. What the heck is"Cloverfield"? It's simple "Cloverfield" is a terrible movie.
Do not waste your time or money seeing this movie. This is a cheap rip off film which can be best summarized as "blaire witch" meets "godzilla" and with an overdose of post-911 fear thrown in. Why induce 911 references and play of that remaining fear? Because this movie is so lame that it needs cheap references to 911 to get any excitement going what so ever. The only good thing you can say is that it is short - only 80 minutes long. But even at 80 minutes it is way too long. I found myself yawning with boredom. No amount of special effects or jerky camera work can save this snoozer.
But a boring horror/scifi film might just end up being simply bad or average. Not Cloverfield. The thing that raises Cloverfield to the status of terrible movie is that it is so incredibly, completely, utterly unoriginal. Blaire Witch was not a great film - it was however original and creative - if annoying and slightly nauseating due to jerky camera action. It used low budget techniques to tell a scary story. Like it or not there was creative thought and originality in that film. It made the most of low tech.
In 1954 Ichiro Honda's Gojira, ゴジラ (Godzilla for the US release), was a ground breaking film that inspired an entire genre of films, spoke to the horrors of the atomic age, decried the racist occupation of Japan, and honestly foreshadowed the horrors of the 911 attacks. Filmed on shoe string budget in post war Japan, Gojira in it's original uncut 90 minute release was a remarkable and chilling film. Honda used low tech effects to create moving and terrifying cautionary tale of retribution for the horrors of nuclear war. Though modern audiences now jaded by overwhelming overused special effects may have difficulty connecting with the special effects of 1954, Gojira still stands up, and still sends a chill down the spine. The opening credits, from a completely black screen bold white characters burst forth with the awesome roar of Gojira and the rumble of giant foot steps. In 2008 that roar and those foot steps assaulting the silence of the theatre still inspire real fear. One can only imagine the effect on audiences of 1954.
What does Cloverfield inspire? Boredom and nausea. Nausea not born of anxiety - but rather motion sickness from jerky camera work. Warning! This movie will make you motion sick! So a movie that is completely unoriginal. A movie that shamelessly steals it premise from two well known movies. That's pretty terrible. Add to that the fact that the main characters are undeveloped, unlikable, and incredibly stupid, and you have a stunningly bad movie.
Since I have a personal interest in movies about giant monsters who flatten cities I went to see this movie with the hope of seeing something original. Such a premise offers the possibility of a mystery or a surprise... or some clever twist that would pay tribute to the original - the great Gojira. An homage? I mean it seemed so obvious that there was some unknown monster out there tearing up the city - so obvious that no one in their right mind could simply leave it at that - especially after all the hype. Maybe Gojira would show up. There had to be more right? Right? Wrong. I guess all the remakes - Godzilla vs Rodan, vs, Mothra, vs Monster X, All monsters must Die, Godzilla 2000 - just slipped the minds of the producers - is that it? No this movie is exactly what it is - there is no surprise. Giant monster attacks New York. Buildings crash into clouds of dust that leave New Yorkers coughing and staggering about the post apocalyptic streets were they get eaten. (Oh yeah - plan on seeing a reference to two other famous horror films - "Alien" and "The Thing") Sheets of office paper flutter through the sky a la 911 footage. Cloverfield is a completely predictable and entirely derivative film that is driven by a highly choreographed well executed marketing campaign - that's all.