All style, no substance

Rating: 3/10 (1 February 2008)

A monster attacks New York City. Years ago it would have seemed passé to have an unknown entity attack the greatest city on Earth. Now, after 9/11, it's not only passé, it's insulting to the intelligence of the audience.
Cloverfield takes this tried-and-true formula and has put a new spin on it, putting the action and reaction of the characters in a hand-held camera held by Hud. Hud, the comic relief of the film, is probably the only redeeming character in the entire movie, as his lines are so stuttering and nonsensical - who, after all, would be able to say something witty in the middle of escaping a fifty-story monster? - that he adds a sense of realism in his comedy. The chemistry between the two main characters, Rob and Beth, does seem genuine, but only in that "doomed affair" sort of way. Anyone who has seen this type of movie before will know they're screwed after about ten minutes into the film, when she shows up at Rob's going away party with -gasp!- another guy.
During the party scene of the film, I was getting the vague suspicion that this was a convenient way to suck up time on the film reel. However, I was still holding out that the attack on New York would cause the movie to jump start and live up to the considerable buzz and hype which had surrounded it.
Not so. The attack on New York is standard, but I should have known better. New York has been blown up so many times in cinema that it's a wonder anyone bothers to watch movies like this anymore. The hype surrounding aspects of the movie - "the reactions of the people in the party are like people responding to September 11th!" - are inaccurate. If someone told me a giant monster was attacking Manhattan, I'd tell them that I had read their pamphlet once in a Chevron bathroom. The only reactions that truly mirror 9/11 are those found in another film, United 93. I don't have to go into the plot of that film because we've already lived it.
Monster movies, to me, don't pack the punch that they used to because the real world has become so much more terrifying. By the time we see the monster in his full form, at the climax of the film, I was hoping that Godzilla would make a cameo and save the day. That's a monster I would gladly pay money to see.
I do give the movie some points for its strict adherence to the digital camera. The overarching premise of a monster attack, though, doesn't resonate. It's as if the director was so keen on trying out his new movie trick he didn't care what god-awful plot he slapped it on. Do yourself a favor: if you want to scare yourself and get a gut-wrenching, you-are-there sense of realism, rent United 93. If that hits a little too close to home (and there's certainly no shame if it does), rent War of the Worlds. True, it's also a monster movie in this Brave New World of ours, but hey, at least it's Spielberg's take on H.G. Wells.