If you didn't hate shaky cam before, you will after seeing this!

Rating: 4/10 (10 April 2016)

Despite being a cross between a rip off of Godzilla, War of the Worlds, and Alien / Aliens, Cloverfield (whatever that refers to) sort of had an interesting approach: make the viewer feel like they're along for the ride. Unfortunately the execution was horrible.
I've always hated this "shaky cam" approach to TV and film that's become a fad in the last 15 years or so. Although some of my favourite TV shows and movies have been filmed using this approach, I totally despise it. What is wrong with mounting the damn camera? People are going to look back in 20 or 30 years and roll their eyes at this idiotic fad. Was it supposed to make us feel like we're there, in the scene? It doesn't.
Well anyway, someone told the makers of this movie that people love shaky cam. In fact, they love it so much so that they want to see the effect put on steroids! And so we're treated with two hours of the camera bouncing up and down and zooming in and out of focus on random things. It's an abuse, not only on the eyes, but to all the senses.
If that weren't bad enough, the first 20 minutes or so of the film is just a party where a bunch of twenty-something hipsters babble on about the usual twenty-something he said, she said nonsense while looking at their phones and nursing their beers. This is what passes for character development. For me, it was about as exciting as watching a dog lick itself where the sun don't shine... on shaky cam!
After the monster is introduced into the movie... I don't know 30 minutes into the film... we follow Rob around town. Rob is apparently some genius who makes the world go round, because all we hear about throughout the film is "where's Rob", "what does Rob think?", "what's Rob doing?", "Hey, Rob!", "Rob!", "Rob!" Not since Mary Tyler Moore in the Dick Van Dyke Show have I heard someone say "Rob" that many times on screen.
Unfortunately Rob's an idiot. He decides to go against conventional wisdom (i.e. to get out of town) and instead goes marching straight into the carnage. His friends, who follow this guy around like David Koresh, go with him on his merry adventure to an early grave. When the group finally stumbles upon the military, the military allows them to leave the secure zone and go back onto the streets! Why? Glad you asked! In order to climb to the top of a skyscraper that's on fire and has fallen over and is now leaning against another skyscraper. Apparently these folks didn't watch "The Towering Inferno".
The cover of this Blu Ray had quotes like "Terrifying!" I think it should have had quotes like "Stupid!" or "Absolutely makes no sense!" Had I been at the theatre, I would have walked out. I couldn't have cared less about any of these people or their white upper-class, privileged, yuppie interpersonal drama.
The number one problem with this movie was the camera gimmick. It was like watching unedited vacation footage shot by a five year old on a Sony Handycam. NEVER again will I sit through a movie shot like this. The second problem was the characters and dialogue, or lack there of. I can live with the fact that the plot makes no sense and the film really has no point, but the former ruins what little redeeming qualities this thing has left.
I'll be generous and give it 4/10 for a twist on the themes it ripped off, but I don't think I could sit through a second viewing. All in all this film seems to be a marketing gimmick, rather than an original contribution to the science fiction genre.