Awful Camera Work - Waste of Time - Save your Money

Rating: 1/10 (31 January 2008)

 SPOILER ALL THE WAY 
Where do I start.....
Awful Camera Work. Seriously, do I want to spend money to watch a movie that looks like a 10 year old with a handy cam filmed it? This gimmick needs to die with this movie. It simply doesn't work, not the way they filmed this moviewreck.
Screen Play by Comic Book writer? Seriously, who wrote this script? Skyscrapers leaning on skyscrapers? Girl with two foot steel bar going through her chest has it pulled out and continues on her merry way through collapsed leaning building, down the standing building it is leaning on, across town, to the subway, to the conveniently stumbled upon Military Hospital and finally, the escape helicopter, that CRASHES, and ends up at THE bridge. Yup, great writing skills here. Very creative.
What were those little alien bugs and where did they come from?? Who cares. YAWN!! Dum. What else can I add or say about them. There are millions of them the little critters but somehow, our heroes manage to get by fighting off 1 or 2. Yes, 1 or 2. Too bad only one of the heroes gets bit. Oh, well, maybe not too bad, because we did get to know that you EXPLODE if you get bit as a result. YAWN!!! Who cares? What does it matter?
This monster is something. You can't kill it for love of technology or big bombs. I love the monster scene at the very end. The camera guy gets eaten, boohoo. It should have happened in the first 30 seconds. Oh, the camera and his head survive, well, bitten off. Nice shot of the head in the grass because the camera falls and... focuses on the head, the grass, the head, the grass.... YAWN. And, our number one, romantic, brave hero guy with the girl friend who has a hole in her chest and has not yet bleed to death has the where-with-all to.... pick up the camera and keeps on recording until the nuke drops. YAWN!!!
OH, this is no ordinary handy-cam!! No sir.... Spot Lights for lighting up dark subway tunnels, NIGHT VISION to see nasty bugs that are about to fall off the ceiling in the dark subway tunnel, batteries that run on nuclear power and last forever constantly filming and doing all the high tech search light stuff etc etc. And, how many times does the putz who is carrying it drop it, trip, fall down stair ways etc..... damaged?? No sir. I WANT THIS CAMERA.
Plot.... right:
Hero Guy meets girl.
Hero Guy sleeps with girl.
Hero Guy loves girl but doesn't call because he is going overseas to a new job.
Girl comes to going away party with other guy.
Heartache, lets talk, lets fight, lets eaves drop..... YAWN.
Monster interrupts 20 something angst-party.
Monster rips up city. Too bad it didn't eat everyone at the party. Well, he does. One at a time.
Hero guy and party pals run and misplace some friends. Hey, it can happen.
Hero guy NOW calls girl. (look, she gets misplaced and there is a lot going on! Don't ask me how, but it all happens in this handy cam fiesta.) But, he doesn't have a nuclear battery, like the one in the handy cam so before he calls, he has to go to an electronics store to steal a nuclear battery. Yessir!
Where did the Girl go?? Girl went home to ground zero so she could be impaled by steel bar in half fallen, leaning skyscraper. Yes, she leaves the party during the Monster scene and goes back to her apartment in the confusion on the other side of town. Yes, the side with the monster. Come on, stay with the story line here!!
Ring, Ring: Hello
Hero Guy: I love you
Girl: oooooooh, I'm stuck under a building with a steel bar through my chest! I am faint and the line will go dead.... Now.
Hero Guy: I'll save you. I love you. YAWN FEST.
Hero guy drags all party friends to ground zero to remove girl from steel bar. Hey, it has to be done.
They leave.
What is a movie in New York without a subway scene.
What is a movie in New York without monster buggy things in the subway scene.
What is a Hollywood Gawd-Awful movie without a convenient chance arrival to a hospital.
A party girl explodes due to monster-offspring-creepy-crawly bite while walking in subway.
Hero guy and girlfriend with big bleeding hole-in-chest (but lots of blood to bleed) try to leave.
Monster interrupts departure.
Monster leaps up and grabs the escape helicopter. I saw it coming it was sooo obvious.
Monster eats the camera guy. Best part of the movie because you hope your visual pain is over and you can now leave..... Nope.
The Hero-Guy and Love Girl with still bleeding gaping hole in chest from big steel bar make it to a Bridge.
Nuke drops.
The End.
The End. Really. Fade to Black. The movie just stops. Dead. Finished. 80 minutes or so.... OVER. Credits, leave the theater.
You shake your head and wonder what the heck did you just waste your time paying to see.
Save your money. This film needs to be bitten and chewed up and hope it explodes into the trash bin of moviewreck history. There will be a sequel, count on it. It will be as bad or worse.
OH, I asked for my money back when I left the theater. Yes, I asked for my money back.
Total and complete waste of time.