Thankfully, I didn't pay to see it.

Rating: 1/10 (25 July 2013)

I saw this piece of extended trash on an aeroplane. Its most exciting moment was when the hostie came with my meal, and the second most exciting was when she came to take away my tray. In between, I endured three hours of dross. My wife quit after one hour but I foolishly stuck with it in the vain hope that something meaningful might eventually be revealed. The most meaningful revelation was in the closing titles, when I realised I had failed to spot that Nurse Noakes was Hugo W. OK, it was late at night.
Anyone making oxymoronic use of the word 'masterpiece' in relation to this pretentious piece of self indulgence must have been living under a damp rock. World cinema is full of truly great movies, and I was lucky enough to watch two of them on the long trip from London to Australia. Unfortunately this stood out as the exception.
The use of interlocking themes is not new, and there are numerous excellent examples, but in these the links make sense, and go beyond recycling a set of big name actors with elaborate make-up and prosthetics, or speaking silly invented languages. Such movies need to be tight, engaging, compelling, and not a weary yawnfest.
Ultimately, making this rambling assembly of disjointed half-baked ideas at this huge length was a total indulgence by its directors. Why did it receive zero Oscar nominations? Because the Academy is not composed of complete idiots, that's why, OK?