Tweens Need Not Apply.

Rating: 9/10 (16 January 2005)

Truly a film for all seasons, Closer is one of those rare films that will satisfy no matter what your particular caveat. What follows are merely a few examples of it's all-encompassing appeal. 1. Are You Trying To End A Relationship Without Feeling Guilty? If so, simply lure the unsuspecting party to see this film. from the cast they will automatically assume it to be a Runaway Bride/Alfie hybrid movie. Just wait until the internet chatroom scene, or the moment where Julia Roberts describes her sexual proclivities in the dirtiest language imaginable. ( This works best with sixteen year old girls with a Lizzy McGuire fixation ) 2. Are You A Big Stinking Pervert ? Then why not spend almost an hour sweating with anticipation at the prospect of seeing Natalie Portman giving the most sensual performance since Scarlett Johansenn in 'Lost in Translation' and then another hour trying to subdue your semi-tumescent member, an inevitable byproduct of the stripping scene. ( This Works best with fifteen year old nerds with Princess Amidala fixations ) 3. Are you a fan of incisive, honed and crafted writing, bought to life by a cast on the absolute top of their game, ( career bests for everyone involved ) and fashioned by a veteran director whose work still brims with wit, imagination and any other superlatives you care to lavish on him? In short. A movie made by grown ups, for grown-ups.