Not even close

Rating: 1/10 (15 February 2007)

I have just got around to seeing this on DVD, and wished I hadn't bothered. How can such a talented director and cast get it so wrong - apart from choosing an abysmal script, of course? And how can such a dud movie garner so many awards and nominations? Pointless and virtually plot less, this involves four unpleasant and unsympathetic characters spouting unconvincing, crude and - on occasions - unintentionally hilarious dialogue, so bad you wonder whether the writer didn't have some scenes left over from his days working with the deeply unfunny Steve Coogan. Jude Law seems to be playing two different characters. For the first ten minutes he is reasonably OK as a slightly diffident hack journalist, but then changes without rhyme or reason into... well, Jude Law. Clive Owen must be a better actor than he shows here, as a crude doctor with the worst bedside manner you could imagine. And Julia Roberts plays her part as if it was a first-rehearsal read-through for her role in Notting Hill, minus the charm. Only Natalie Portman emerges with anything resembling credit, but again, her character fails to genuinely convince. And a note to the casting director: aren't strippers supposed to have tits? There's a scene in the middle of the movie where Jude Law and Julia Roberts arrive late at the theatre, and decide to have a drink in the bar rather than watch the performance. I know how they feel...