Stay Far Away from Closer 0*

Rating: 1/10 (11 March 2006)

A simply awful movie depicting sexual problems between two couples.
If the writers of this disaster thought that they were emulating 1969's "Bob&Carol&Ted&Alice", they must be sadly mistaken.
The 4 people involved have sexual hangups. No question about that. Jude Law meets up with Natalie Portman when she hits by a cab. Jude has been seeing Julia Roberts, the latter is married to a dermatologist (Clive Owen) Some doctor! The filth that spews from his mouth is nauseating. He tells wife Roberts that he went to bed with a whore while on a N.Y.C. convention. Moments later, he says to her: "Aren't we happy?"
If this isn't crazy enough, Law uses Roberts' computer to bate Owen to come to a meeting where Roberts happens to be with a request for sex.
Roberts and Owen are separated. Before he will sign the divorce decree, I'll give you a guess what he wants from Roberts. She complies.
Law writes obituaries for the newspapers. He could have written one for this movie. Portman is a stripper. Owen throws money at her.
Portman and Owen received supporting Golden Globe Awards for their respective performances. The Motion Picture academy happily saw otherwise.
A disgusting, vulgar picture. Mike Nichols, you directed this mess. This was not "The Graduate."