Superficial and contrived plot, improbable situations and too many high profile actors in one flick.

Rating: 1/10 (23 January 2005)

I was extremely disappointed and irritated by this film. Movies should be about being transported into the lives and situations of the people on the screen but that singularly failed to happen in the case of 'Closer'.
The characters and relationships definitely do not ring true at all. It's not a question of not liking the people depicted, though none are likable, especially not the irritating doctor character. It's not a question of finding some of the language shocking - it is no more shocking than you'd see in a TV drama and there is virtually no nudity or sex. It's just that you couldn't care less about the characters as you don't really get to know them. Each one has no feeling of reality, no subtlety and no authenticity. They do things people only do in films, not in real life.
Do doctors really sit and engage in chat room sex talk in a hospital back office before going into the theatre to do an operation? Would photographer Anna have talked to and befriended sleazy doctor Larry in the aquarium... and then married him? Do people really hitch, split, re-hitch, bitch, bawl and spit at each other over who's been doing it with whomsoever's extramarital lover - or just ex, and is not telling the truth? Truthfulness toreal life is something this story lacks completely.
I found the dialogue wooden, the words contrived, the performances staged. Maybe it works better as a play. If so then it has not transferred successfully to film. I found it suffocating to have so many high profile actors together.
You know when a movie isn't working when you start to see the script roll in front of you like an autocue, and when you think you can see the crew looking on as the actors work through their lines.
After wasting two hours and five pounds on this movie I am losing my confidence in going to the cinema, except to see something I have seen before or has been personally recommended to me.