proof that critical praise equal a warning to movie goers

Rating: 1/10 (11 August 2005)

Lets cut to the chase. Here is a movie about a bunch of characters that lack the ability to have a healthy relationship and seem perfectly happy to play partner swap between themselves. Hmmm.... how could a story so perfect for late night on cine-max be so royally ruined? Bad script, bad editing and bad acting.
First warning any movie patron should note is that plays rarely translate into good movies. Face it, plays are filled with pompous preachy diatribes that stage actor seem to love and some people seem willing to watch. But I want a movie where the words from the character have meaning and seem real, here they are too often over extended speeches that push the realm of reality. In most any scene you start to wonder why one of the characters doesn't just walk away. You get the feeling they all just want to yammer on and on for the sake of hearing themselves whine and moan.
Editing: I'm sorry but if you want to jump around in time, give me a clue that you are going forward three years or back one year or whatever. Don't make me listen so closely to what they are saying to figure it out. I don't have a copy of the playbill from the original play so I don't have the advantage of a written guide to what scene I'm watching.
Acting: Okay, I can accept Clive Owens acting... Even Julia was acceptable.... BUT, Jude Law seemed to be do the same character he did in the last two movies he was in, only now he talk on and on about nothing. And lest I forget Portman, GOOD GOD was this a mistake. Yeah she seems believable for a while but when you get to the part of the movie where she goes back to being a stripper.... I'm sorry but if you want to play a stripper and be believable take your clothes off. I could only laugh as she is up their as a strip among other actors that are actually bare breasted and she is wearing more than you would see on a beach. If you take a job acting as a stripper get naked, otherwise you come across as a joke. You start thinking, "Oh, she wanted to get away from being the nice queen of Star Wars... Ooops did she read that script the first time? guess not and so you no longer believe her portrayal...
I could rant on but suffice it to say the movie sucked... maybe it was a good play, but as a movie it ain't even worth the time on cable.