Star studded cast; cosmic, galactic failure

Rating: 2/10 (26 January 2013)

Wow. I can't recall another film with such big name stars that was such a complete, utter failure from start to finish. The only thing that's worse than this film is the praise and the money this train wreck has managed to earn. As dcloysmith already pointed out...there is not one single frame in this 100+ minute movie that even resembles a human emotion or action. And that's hard to accomplish, when you think about it.
The screenplay; the acting; the plot -- EVERYTHING about this film just cries out for help. Loudly. In fact, I felt a throbbing in my head and a queasiness in my gut 15 minutes into this thing. And it just got worse as the time, which ground down to a paralytic crawl, dragged on.
Now, don't get me wrong. ALL relationships deal with fidelity issues. ALL relationships have their ups and downs and their trials and tribulations. But "Closer" is such a stilted, distorted, absurd view of these issues that it would rival a child's Saturday afternoon cartoon for pure silliness. So unless you're a total masochist, or are on a life support system after having been declared legally brain dead, do something else -- ANYTHING else -- with 100 minutes of your life; 100 minutes you'll never get back, but wish you had, if you decide to watch "Closer".