Couldn't be more further away!!!

Rating: 3/10 (14 April 2005)

So here we have a story of four cats completely unsuited for each other from opposing walks of life who are attracted and distracted to each other yet somehow affect their emotional states to such a degree that whether they're together or apart they permanently scarred. Two words: AS IF. Howe can we buy that Princess Julia would fall for Lout Clive and Stripper Natalie would be mesmerized by Wimpoid Jude.
Never saw the play (thank you Lord) but can only assume it was infinitely better than this pretentious preposterous garbage. Jude Law's performance is so wooden the cast probably got splinters every time he touched them. Julia Robert's cynical marketing casting is an affront to every credible actress who would've have borough credence and depth and genuine emotion to a role that she barely make tolerable. Clive Owen gruffs up his demeanor to deliver a few choice lines with admirable venom - though a yob doctor is hardly believable - and Natalie Portman strives hard to inject emotional realism to her damaged character.
Everything this film tries to be, it isn't. It's not gritty, it's not shocking, it's not real, it's not dark and it's not remotely original.