NC17 - XXX ACTION + LOVESQAURE +

Rating: Null/10 (12 December 2004)

Closer is completely depressing, but it isn't a bad movie. Closer makes you feel empty, but it isn't a bad movie. It made me sad in the sense where I want to die rather than cry. Don't see the movie because Julia Roberts is in it, see it despite the fact that she's in it (although she isn't bad... just okay, which in a way is worse than being bad). Like everyone has said, Portman and Owen leave the impressions while Roberts and Law are somewhat tepid (THANK YOU 10th GRADE VOCAB WORD).
And while we're on the subject of the four starring actors, why is it that all the previews I've seen for this movie have shown mainly Jude Law and Julia Roberts? In my opinion this will attract the wrong kind of audience. Julia Roberts could be worse... at least she isn't smiling all the time like in her other movies. Now THAT would be depressing. Hide them teeth yo.
It's a harsh, truthful-although-unrealistic story based on the love-square of four subjectively sympathetic characters.
Highlight: Cyber sex scene. Ohhhhh yeah.
The language didn't affect me whatsoever. In fact, I didn't even realize there was "strong language" until I heard Oprah comment on it (not that I watch Oprah...) and read the reviews. And for the record, I'm still in high school (take that for what it's worth). I honestly think you have to be a 30 year old virgin/ proud parent of 3/ Dr. Laura enthusiast/ I don't even know/ to be offended by the language. I'm surprised people aren't more jaded by now. Wait, no I'm not.
Closer shows what sex does to a relationship without showing sex. It talks about it, revolves around it, but no, you don't see any action. If you want porn, check google images. It's free.
You do, however, get to see the behind of Natalie Portman so go if you're into that kind of thing.
Oh, and whatever critic it was a "love story for adults" is a complete twat. It's a love story about adults that are still in many ways children. It's a love story intended to show what love shouldn't be, or what love isn't.
I honestly don't even know what else to say about it. It's intriguing, see it, it's something to talk about.