Corny Knowledge

Rating: 3/10 (5 December 2010)

Some things never change. Nearly forty years after Mike Nichols explored a quartet of adult relationships in the over-hyped, drab and limp Carnel Knowledge comes Closer an over-hyped drab and limp exploration of love and betrayal dealing with another foursome of vapid, transparent characters. Little has changed over the period with the males still insecure sex obsessed boys and the women restrained adults swimming in melancholy, victimized by the eternal child.
Newspaper obit writer Dan (Jude Law) rushes to the aid of waitress / stripper Alice (Natalie Portman) who is bumped over by a taxi. The two become romantic and move in together. With her as muse he writes a promising book but falls for Anna (Julia Roberts) the photographer doing his jacket cover portrait. During a chat room exchange Dan let's his negative capability get the best of him, posing as female for horny surgeon Larry ( Clive Owen) that leads Lar to Anna. Anna marries Larry but Dan leaves Alice for Anna who leaves Larry for Dan causing Larry to stop shaving and straightening his tie and pay a visit to Alice at the strip club where his bestial desires heightened by sequins and colorful neon demand great restraint. Sensitive Dan in the meantime, with his "addiction to the truth" grows petulant and weepy after a couple of epiphanies while looking into mirrors.
Nichols characters are like the letters on a compass; demarcated by type. Sensitive male, brute male, young beautiful free spirit female, mature beautiful cautious female. They also interact in the same way since they don't seem to be listening to one another. The cast never seems to jell as Nichols disjointed narrative leaps to and fro without establishing relationships or maintaining mood from one scene to the next. Chemistry between the actors is non- existent as they try to stay within their insecure types. Jude Law's Dan is a spoiled unlikable child while Owen is a caveman infant terrible. Julia Roberts shows little enthusiasm for either male but has a whirlwind marriage with one while falling passionately in love with the other all in a year's time. Leave it to the world wise precocious stripper, effectively done by Portman to be the most level headed as she deals out sage advice while lying spread eagle before lustful Larry at the club.
Closer is a sober, solemn bore that whimpers along from start to finish. It's attempt to rise above its torpor with updated dirty talk and considerable exposure of Ms. Portman's (it's partially successful here) hot bod results in tepid titillation all around with this Carnal Redux by Nichols breaking no new ground two generations later. Relying on wide eyed pursed lipped close-ups of good looking movie stars to get at the heart of the matter never even scratches the surface of what makes their characters tick. Keep your distance.