Bad. Really, really bad. Awesomely bad. Monumentally bad.

Rating: 1/10 (16 April 2005)

The wife and I seldom give up on a movie. Dr. T and the Women was an exception. Without a Paddle was another, but we didn't feel so bad, as it was the back end of a double feature. Closer makes three. Maybe it's unfair for me to review it, because it only polluted our DVD player for about twenty minutes before the poor thing gagged, retched and and spat it out. I've read others who comment on the intelligent dialogue. Maybe they were listening to an SAP channel or something. Pretentious/cutesy and so achingly full of itself that it was embarrassing would be our take on it. I don't care how misogynistic you may be, there is no way you are going to convince me that even marginally intelligent, educated and/or sophisticated people talk like this or relate to each other like this. I know. I'm a people. And I would laugh myself to tears if I ever encountered a poser like any of these characters. I think the internet chat scene was the breaking point for us. Had the cast consisted of eleven year olds it may have been believable, but even then one wonders why anyone would think it worthwhile to commit such drek to film. We did hang on into the aquarium scene, hoping against hope that since the film seemed to garner a number of decent ratings perhaps the first part was just a mistake of some sort and something worth watching might actually happen. It didn't. Eject. If you're a poser yourself, maybe you'll find something of interest in this film (I'm not going to even speculate on what that might actually be). If you're an authentic human being living within several light years of the planet I inhabit, I can't think of one single reason why you should subject yourself to this mess.