Depicting romance astoundingly accurate, but boring its audience close to death most of the time

Rating: 4/10 (19 April 2014)

Though lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, as Natalie Portman's character informs the audience in one of the most brilliant quotes in recent film history in Closer, I intend not to do either of those things in my review for the 2004 drama, so let me be straightforward:
Besides all its impressing screenplay merits, the story about four realistically unlikable people constantly upsetting each other with the people they choose to bed, is quite the antonym of gripping entertainment. The absurdly long scenes screenwriter Patrick Marber has to fill with enough casual dialogue exposition to answer plot questions arising from some of the one-year-spanning time jumps that occur every now and then in Closer are difficult to pay attention to and even more difficult to enjoy. Parts of his storytelling and the main actors' performances are excellent at portraying the twisted feelings love brings with it, but for most of the time, all I got from this film was boredom.
Due to that and some peculiar plot points closer (no pun intended) to the end, the picture can depict romance with all astounding accuracy it wants to, it can't really get good anymore.