As the film wears on, the script and plot wear off.

Rating: 5/10 (5 November 2006)

This film was a huge disappointment. The cast was heavy with Hollywood stars and although I'm not really into following actors and actresses' lives and keeping in touch with what they're latest films are, I at least knew each of the four faces in the film. Funnily enough, though, this is actually one of the numerous things that contribute to Closer's downfall.
Although the beginning and most of the actual film is clean cut and very sharp, everything seems a little too fast; the dialogue, camera and characters snap back at one another before we've even got a chance to absorb what they've just said. This is a persistent annoyance with Closer. During some of the scenes you actually ask your self just what in the hell is actually going on. The film starts off fairly simply but launches itself into a barrage of double crosses, broken hearts and false promises the characters make between themselves. This got very confusing and the dialogue did start to falter here once it realised that it needed to string together some actual DIALOGUE rather than meaningless, romantic clap trap two people spout to one another. I had to ask myself 'If they weren't big-shot Hollywood actors, would I really give a hell!?'
When the film runs out of steam a little after about 30 and 70 minutes respectively, the character Dan (Law) seems to just suddenly, from absolutely nowhere, come out with a crazy revelation that turns the film completely on its head and starts it down another road. At one point, he admits to something to the person he supposedly loves and then that, itself, spawns another series of events that are completely random and just seem forced. This felt like a cheap get out clause in the script and I felt rather insulted that the film would use such an underhand, weak plot point to boost the film along. This is actually where the story falls apart and 'Closer', as I said, slowly contributes to its own downfall.
Like I said; if they weren't Hollywood big-shots, would we even care? What if they were nobody actors acting on a shoestring budget? This film would have disappeared the day after it was released.
As the film enters its home straight, I kind of lost count at the amount of times each character told each other that they loved them. The script seemed to be constructed around the principal of: 'I love you. Pardon? I love you. Pardon? I love you. Pardon? I love you. Pardon?' and I actually starting laughing out loud whenever Larry (Owen) or Anna (Roberts) said this phrase as it was utterly pathetic. Clearly, none of these characters love each other at all.
Although I would have loved to have given this film a lower rating, the actors do well with the worn script that they're given and I'm not going to grumble too much at a film that has a particularly long scene involving Natalie Portman scantly dressed as a stripper but Closer really doesn't deserve the plaudits its getting nor does it the ones that it's already received.