Not for Van Helsing fans, but I loved it.

Rating: 8/10 (23 December 2004)

This movie has generated a great deal of arguing, bitching, and whining about this movie, and that's really too bad. Here's the simple truth (or at least my closest approximation of such): If your favorite movies like Van Helsing, Armageddon, or anything by Jerry Bruckheimer, chances are that you won't like Closer. You will likely enjoy Closer if:
1 you are able to honestly say that you enjoy going to plays, as this movie was adapted from a play, and it shows. 2 your prefer Decalogue-heavy movies 3 you want to see Natalie Portman's buttocks 4 you can tolerate a slightly higher than typical amount of "dirty talk" in a movie, as well as a few scenes that are more risquÃ© than artistic (though they were probably trying {without success}to be artistic, or at least clever) 5 you are not expecting a typical Julia Roberts role, or a "happy" movie of any sort. 6 you are able to enjoy a story of people with moral and mental health defects and their attempts to get what they want at the expense of others.
This is a movie that is clearly not for everyone. My wife and I quite enjoyed it, though early on we had our doubts. The movie builds a momentum with several plot twists and time lapses that require some effort to follow, but we like that sort of thing.
Roughly half of the 30-or-so person audience walked out during the first 45 minutes of the movie. We're both glad that we stayed.