Unsurprisingly Stupid Humor from the Skid Marks of Comedy

Rating: 1/10 (16 September 2006)

Imagine Alfred E. Neuman. Now, remove any and all of his goofy, endearing stupidity and replace it with a slick beady eyed hostility. After that, add in the meanness of a New York sewer rat and an unwholesome obsession with farts and crap. The resulting strange, sick, and sad beast is Adam Sandler, who torments us again with another heaping helping of his special brown and gooey filmatic slop. Like Buddy Love without the charm, Sandler is a mean and 'surprisingly' unfunny schmuck.
Oi, what a mess. It's all threadbare, formulaic hackwork and (dopey) 'high' concept over substance and inspiration. Don't waste your money unless seeing this sheep-haired putz farting in people's faces turns you on. Seriously, he does that. Flick also features Swindler's usual mean-spirited bullyish beatdowns; clever moves like freezing the moment with his magic remote (really? Genius!) then moving the punk next door's baseball mitt so he misses the ball. It's just that banal and awful, all the way through.
You've seen it all done before better (gets magic powers!--backfires!--wants his life back!)in other movies (even the fart jokes). Don't bother. It's a shame such paint-by-the-numbers hacks are successful in the movies, never mind the coarsening of the culture that's been caused by such dreck, but hey, if you can deliver the sausage on time, the deli can keep serving the hot dogs to the suckers. Quality? Schmality!
The only reason someone would give this film a 10 is payola, bribes, or nepotism. It is literally impossible for a sane man to give this 'flick' a 10 without the ratlike skulduggery movie people afoot.