"Damn The Gods?" More like "Screw The Gods"

Rating: 4/10 (24 April 2010)

Greek mythology is awesome. Seriously-Zeus, Hercules, Icarus, The Hydra, etc-it's the definition of totally bad ass. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with this kind of thing, and I still hold a special place in my heart for it. So I guess that's why the original "Clash of the Titans" was so pretty much one of my favorite movies as a kid. sure, The Kraken wasn't originally in Greek Mythology, and it was more of a squid like entity, and looking back, it was a fun but hardly perfect movie, but that's okay. Unfortunately not okay is the new remake of said movie, which is a major letdown.
The skinny on the plot: The gods, particularly Zeus (Liam Neeson) and Hades (Ralph Fiennes) have noticed something-man is not too happy with them, and are turning on them as well. So, it's time to remind mankind the order of thing, which will involve the son of Hades-The Kraken in this case-laying waste to mankind. But there is a man who is destined to stop the monster-Perseus (Sam Worthington) who with the help of some soldiers, must embark on an epic quest.
There are a few things to enjoy about the new "Clash of the Titans", and it certainly didn't make me angry per say. The Kraken itself is awesome, and many of the visuals and designs are fun. It's also nice to see that like in those old stories, the gods are assholes. The trailer says "Damn the Gods", but watching it, I though "To hell with that, Screw the Gods." But for every thing it does get right, it still comes up short. The acting is mostly unremarkable, with Worthington being particularly bland (though Perseus was bland in the original), and Fiennes and Neeson seeming to be in a competition to see who can overact the most-Fiennes wins, but just barely. The direction and editing is also messy-the whole thing is edited in a way that it at times resembles the world's longest, most expensive metal music video, but sadly not in a good way. The battles and action scenes are occasionally fun, but mostly feel too much like they'd belong in every other dull Hollywood blockbuster movie.
Which leads to the film's biggest flaw-it's so hollow. Sure, there's big monsters and spectacle on the screen, but it lacks the heart and enthusiasm of the original. The original was a good example of a popcorn movie done right-nothing spectacular, but fun in it's own right. The new one though, is just another Hollywood movie without much that stands out, and not a whole lot that is memorable. It's mostly a whole lot of nothing.
In the end, there's not a whole lot to hate about the new "Clash of the Titans", but that's because there isn't a whole lot to feel about it either way. It's practically the definition of "whatever."