If you know the story or enjoy a good film, please avoid this!

Rating: 2/10 (20 August 2010)

I learnt the myth of Perseus and Andromeda as a boy when I started looking at the night sky and the constellations: Perseus, Andromeda, Cassopeia, Cepheus, Pegasus and Cetus.
I guess most of us know this story about how the beautiful princess is punished by Poseidon after her mother Queen Cassopeia boasts that her daughter is more beautiful than the Nereids. Andromeda is chained naked to a rock as a sacrifice to the cetus (a sea monster, but not a kraken). In the myth Perseus saves and weds his princess, though there is a spot of bother at the wedding and 'yes', Pegasus and Medusa Gorgon do come into it.
The 1981 film did not stray too far from the story and in addition we had Judy Bowker and Ursula Andress to look at, along with Ray Harryhausen special effects and a pretty decent cast. All in all I was quite satisfied.
I have a soft spot for this story, so I was looking forward to this film. Unfortunately the director and screen writers saw things differently and seem to have gone out of their way to ensure that I would be completely and utterly disappointed and have left me asking these questions:

Why was there no character development?

Wouldn't it have been nice to allow the actors and actresses a chance to act?

The myth provides a rip-roaring yarn, why not use it?

Also I have to question why was Pegasus black? If this was some miss-guided attempt at political correctness, then it was just crass, insulting and hopefully born of ignorance.

Why was Andromeda roped to a wooden trestle on top of a building? Given the vast amounts of paintings and statuary depicting this scene all I can assume is that the Director and script-writers are sadly ignorant or worse they assume that we are.

Clearly this is meant to be an 'effects' driven movie; why then aren't the special effects special? Compared to the effects in other recent films, these are really not as good and are certainly not sufficient for a remake of a film with Ray Harryhausen special effects.

I could go on and on, but then I would be just as boring as this turkey of a film. So, instead I choose to finish on a good point: Gemma Arterton - you know she really is most awfully pretty.