Clash of the Plot Holes!!!

Rating: 2/10 (2 April 2010)

I would like to start off by apologizing to all of the people who I assumed were giving this movie poor reviews out of loyalty for the original. Honestly, they weren't harsh enough.
This movie was awful, I couldn't believe how terrible it was. This has nothing to do with the fact that the movie was not at all faithful to the actual myth of Perseus. As you will recall, the original Clash of the Titans resembled very little of the myth. However, the original movie had deeply involved characters, an interesting plot that was well written and some decent action and special effects.
What did this remake have? I'll tell you. It had plot holes big enough for a barge to fit through, worthless characters who did nothing to help what little plot was there and a rather disappointing ending.
The movie starts off with baby Perseus being found by a fisherman after he and his mother Danae were thrown into the sea. Danae died, but Perseus survived. The fisherman raised Perseus with his wife and later his daughter. When Perseus is grown, Hades attacks his family (for no real reason than just because he could) while at the same time the kingdom of Argos is declaring war on the gods (once again for no real reason than because they could). Perseus is saved and is told by Hades that Zeus is his father. (Why Hades would do that, I have no idea.) Up on Olympus, Zeus is apparently finding out for himself that he has a demigod son which makes no sense because Zeus is the creator of Men, he would HAVE to be aware that he has a son.
Because of Argos's sudden desire to attack Zeus, Hades declares that he will release the Kraken on them in ten days. They will only be spared by letting Andromeda be sacrificed to the Kraken. Again, this didn't make sense. If Hades was mad at Argos, he wouldn't give them a way out, he would just destroy the kingdom. In the original story the sacrifice of Andromeda was brought on because of Cassiopeia's vanity and the insult it delivered Thetis. Here, it was just like Hades thought it would be fun to see Andromeda chained to rock.
Perseus agrees to help Argos not because of love for Andromeda, but because he wants revenge against the gods. At this point, Io shows up and talks a lot. That is pretty much all Io does throughout the movie is talk. My guess is that the writers wanted to introduce a strong woman to the plot, instead what they introduced was a wasted character who actually had no business being in the myth.
Hades meets up with Calibos and reveals his master plot to take over Olympus. Huh, where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, that's right in Hercules. It's a sad day when an action movie has to steal the plot of a Disney movie because they can't come up with anything on their own.
What follows is a lot of action scenes which aren't half bad, but are pretty worthless because they slow down the story. To be fair, there isn't much of a story to slow down. They kill off several characters who mattered to nothing during the fight with Medusa. After Medusa is killed, Calibos kills Io. I know that her death was supposed to be meaningful to Perseus, but it just seemed odd. Their interactions before were not very intimate, in fact there was only one scene that could be construed as some what romantic.
Pegasus appears from no where and takes Perseus to Argos where the Kraken is being released. The battle between the Kraken and Perseus consists of the Kraken ripping down some buildings for about two minutes then Perseus turns him into stone with the head of Medusa. Then he sends Hades back to the Underworld, my what marvelous revenge. You did a bad thing Hades, now you go home. Yawn.
Perseus saves Andromeda and then leaves her on a beach to go to some worthless rock in the ocean. Unlike in the original, Perseus does not fall in love with Andromeda. It wasn't a shock since Andromeda did basically nothing useful except for give bread to children and dangle a hundred feet over the ocean.
Perseus then meets Zeus who suddenly seems pleased with his son though Mankind still hates the gods. He then brings Io back to life so she and Perseus can be worthless forever.
I gave this movie two stars because there were only two things good about it: the CGI and the music. I'll stick to the original movie because while the graphics aren't as good as the remake, at least I actually care for the characters and the storyline makes sense.