Greek tragedy, Epic fail, the only myth here is why it was green lit.

Rating: 2/10 (31 March 2010)

I loved the 1981 original. I remember watching it as a kid; we had that and Jason and the Argonauts taped from the TV. I've seen it since as an adult, and know that it isn't a masterpiece, but I'd still recommend it over this new thoughtless, boring action by numbers remake.
The plot's dealt with and put aside in the first 20 minutes or so, with minimal time spent on characters or motives etc. We're offered some flimsy sudo-existential man v religion rubbish embodied by Perseus and his almost homophobic fear of not being a MAN! (GRRRR!) Which practically becomes his catchphrase. Almost every time he opens his mouth the words "I'm just a man" or "I'll do this as a man". OK; we get, you've got some father issues. Stop scowling, and show us some personality...
Even a ridiculously impromptu romance with the monotone Io (A heavily sedated Gemma Arteton) fails to bring another dimension out of Worthington.
This goes for all the characters in the movie. None of them are at all fleshed out or developed. With Mads Mikkelsen's Draco particularly underwritten. The result is a cast of stock-fodder that you know's going to die, and you don't really care how, who, or when it happens. And then there's the damn tree man and his people?! Or Chew-bark-a as I like to call him >dies<, Leterrier's Tesco value Wookies. They were rubbish, totally pointless; looked awful, and unintentionally hilarious every time they "spoke".
Much has been said about Liam Neeson as Zeus too, but he looked uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed in a lot of scenes to me. Ralph Fiennes hams things up as the Lord of the Underworld Hades but doesn't resemble a true antagonist until the final act.
Once established the film moves at break neck pace from set piece to set piece, aided by the incessant music that comes to life any time anything happens on screen. And I do mean anything! A horribly forced "teach you how to sword fight" scene is made to feel like the final showdown. Sounding like some kind of orchestral-metal; it's that typical Hans Zimmer-esquire "chugging" sound that accompanies 90% of all Hollywood action scenes, and is quintessentially douche! What happened to action scenes without music? They're always so much more gripping and atmospheric.
The Medusa scene sums up the whole film for me. In the original it was a dark tense sequence; tension slowly built up with subtle use of sound and shadow. It genuinely freaked me out as a child. Leterrier's vision wastes no time getting into things. Her lair is bigger, louder and more perilous and looses any sense of atmosphere as a result.
The special effects are indeed impressive (although the 3D is an underwhelming after thought), but covering a piece of rancid steak in a gourmet sauce isn't going to make any more palatable. But given that you don't care about any of the characters, the action scenes end up being impressive but ultimately devoid of any real tension.
To it's credit it doesn't get bogged down in cheesy quips, or comic relief like many summer blockbusters feel the need to, but on the whole it's pretty dismal.
If you enjoy mindless (if uninspiring) action or burley men with big swords; this is for you.