Bomb of a nuclear proportion

Rating: 1/10 (2 April 2010)

Never have I had the urge to leave a theater before a movie ends so much till this piece of junk was rolled in front of me. That was exactly how I feel during the running of the latest remake of CLASH OF THE TITANS. If it were not for my friend whose eyes were zealously piercing through those 3D glasses onto the screen, I would have been long gone even before 30 minutes into the movie. Yeah, it was THAT BAD. Throughout the entire movie one quote kept on running in my mind:
"WHAT A PIECE OF CRAP!!!!"
I am usually skeptical about watching remakes especially after the numerous spawning of such mediocre productions over the past decade or so. Yet when I read news that there would be an update version to the 1981 CLASH OF THE TITANS, I was conflicted with both enthusiasm and skepticism. For one thing, I have such reverence for the original version in terms of its faithful storyline in accordance to the legends and its authentic Greek feel. On the other hand, I felt that there was also a need to update the effects via new technologies; which I initially admit that the Ray Harryhausen's stop-animation masterpieces were pretty tacky and cheesy.
I was hoping for too much.
The result is a total waste of time for the audience and waste of talents in the lights of the actors, even for the gifted director, Louis Leterrier (who previously directed THE INCREDIBLE HULK which was good).
The 2010 version of CLASH does not live up to its predecessor on so many levels. In fact, personally, I feel that it's really a bomb of a nuclear proportion.
For a start, it felt too rushed as if trying to feed the audience with too many food from the buffet table all at one go so much so that as an audience I felt lost for most of the time. There were also too many unnecessary characters that not only disrupt the plot but were extremely annoying as well. Another point was that, some of these characters had almost no background stories at all. It's as if the writers felt compelled to showcase their existence in the film just so they could tie in to the mythology without having any need to have a proper introduction. For instance, Pegasus suddenly appeared all of a sudden without informing the audience where this creature came from leaving some of those (ahem...ignoramus who have no idea about Greek mythologies) audience clueless.
The appearance of cameos were equally wasted on their roles that came on screen only for a few minutes. Screen veterans such as Pete Postlethwaite, Polly Walker, Jane March and Danny Houston were on screen for a mere several minutes with some of them only uttering a single line. Mind you, these are good Hollywood actors whose time were much deserved on better film projects.
And just because the buzz word in films these days is 3D, that does not necessarily translate as making this "supposedly blockbuster" crap into one as well. Plus, it's tiring to have those glasses clutching onto your head throughout the entire movie especially when the only prominent 3D effect that was visible on screen was the subtitles.
Now, having seen the new CLASH, I somehow have grown an immense respect for the 1981 version. I felt that those tacky and cheesy effects in the original 1981 version were but minute and trivial altogether in comparison to its bigger picture of the movie itself. I somehow feel humbled by the learned writings of Beverley Cross who designed the story almost accurately to the real legend and the gifted Desmond Davis' vision of the original for their masterpiece deserves all the respect of movie audiences who heard about CLASH OF THE TITANS both old and new. Last but not least, to the "tacky and cheesy" stop-animations of Ray Harryhausen who does deserve a considerable amount of credit for his effort in bringing the legend of Perseus to life.