Note: This film contains no Titans

Rating: 5/10 (27 April 2010)

If you're going to do Greek mythology there's no need to simplify. After all it's just storytelling. Such is the problem with the mundane "Clash of the Titans." I never saw its' 1981 original but I wonder if it's more inspired than this. Director Louis Leterrier ("The Incredible Hulk" and "Transporter 2") knows how to make a kick-ass, fast paced action flick. This is neither. Nor does it have the mythology it should. Greece should serve as a backbone for an epic tale. Instead it's used something to get from one action scene to the next.
The tale at hand tells of Perseus (Sam Worthington of "Avatar") who was discovered by his fishermen family (Pete Postalwaithe among them) adrift at sea in a tomb with his mother. The fact that the infant survived and the mother did not should tell them something. Perseus doesn't know of his origin and there's the token "embrace your destiny!" "But I'm just a man!" scenes that follow. His father is Zeus (Liam Neeson) and his mother a mortal tricked into boinking him. Thus he's a demi-God which is kind of like being Penny Hardaway as opposed to Michael Jordan. Soon Perseus is discovered by the kingdom of Argos who demand he help them. Greece, Argos in particular, have angered Zeus and Co. so much that Zeus unleashes his brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes) upon them. Hades' ultimate weapon is the most underwhelming aspect of the film. The Kraken is large, impressive and fierce but its' use is so anti-climatic that you may end up thinking it was nothing more than a marketing ploy used in the trailer to make us say "ooh fun!" Trust me, not really.
The cast at hand is rather good and at times they keep the film afloat. Worthington isn't the most complex actor in the world but he makes for a likable and believable hero. He's accompanied by a battalion of Argos soldiers who must bring back the head of Medusa or their princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) will be sacrificed to the Kraken. Among them is the hardy Draco (Mads Mikkelsen; Le Chiffre of "Casino Royale"). He's sort of a mentor on the fly to Perseus, teaching him how to properly use a sword in one of the films' best scenes. He and his outmatched but savvy and witty group of soldiers give this the fun feel it sorely needs. There's also the matter of Perseus guide Io (Gemma Arterton). She can handle herself in a fight and fits in nicely with Perseus and the others on their quest. The screenplay unfortunately changes her from a character to a plot device as the film goes on. Neeson and Fiennes are fine as they always are but we've seen far better from them. Neeson isn't on screen much as Zeus and when he is, he plays his role rather straight. Fiennes always makes for a good villain but I couldn't help but thinking "man, he was a lot cooler as VoldeI mean 'he who must not be named'.
The acting isn't the reason anyone comes to a film like this. We're here for epic action scenes laden with awesome monsters, larger-than-life heroes, and some cool mythology mixed in. That's the films ultimate failure. It dispenses its mythology matter of factly instead of with intrigue and excitement. While I don't think the film muffed any of the storytelling to suit its needs, it certainly neglects most it. Where's Poseidon, Athena, Ares or any of the other Greek Gods so crucial in these stories? There's sort of a round-table of the Gods but none of it matters. They are all utterly ignored so that Zeus and Hades can bicker and plot. It's not as if ancient Greece was only about the two brothers. The mediocre and predictable plot line would be more forgivable if the action sequences still delivered. Those too are predictable. We know every battle will end and never are the fight scenes intense and stunning as they were in "300" and "Troy". The CGI effects are nice but they're nice in the way that every film looks nice nowadays. The Kraken isn't on screen long enough to make an impression. Medusa isn't nearly as terrifying as she should be. The scorpions are a nice touch. So are the things that ride them.
When a film is mediocre it isn't bad. "Clash of the Titans" isn't bad but it's disappointing in the sense that's it's never very thrilling. It certainly promised to be. This was even pushed back a week to be released in 3D. Don't waste the cash. While the 3D doesn't take away anything from a movie like this it isn't breathtaking like "Avatar" or even peculiar and vibrant in "Alice in Wonderland". The actors are good but they are good because they're good actors. Not because this lazy screenplay allows them to be. It's something of a shame. What could have been a grand semi-epic is just a paint by numbers action flick. There's never a sense that what you're watching is some mythological masterpiece. You can't say much about an average movie. You can say a lot though about a disappointing one. Unfortunately that's what this is.
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