Beyond dreadful. Appalling.

Rating: 1/10 (8 April 2010)

Think of the worst film you have ever seen. Now double it. That film is Citizen Kane compared to this utter dross. This film is so bad I almost don't know where to begin. Firstly the 3D is the worst I have yet seen in a movie. It's blurry, dark, the 3D effect makes things just behind the forefront - like people's ears and the back portion of their heads look really huge and fake. The special effects are pretty bad, with poor CGI. The gods look like rejects from a kids TV version of King Arthur, stomping around in glowing gold armour that is 1500 years too late for the period when the film is supposed to be set (yes I know it's a fantasy, but it's still set in Ancient Greece). Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson are incredibly hammy and unbelievable, especially Fiennes who comes across like a villain from a Kid's TV show.
The script is wooden, the editing is poor, with some serious plot holes. The casting is dreadful, with the heroes mostly spindly with puny arms and legs, that don't look at all believable. Jason Flemyng is sooo bad as Calibos, who was a very menacing figure in the original, despite being made of modelling clay (and much more scary than Flemyng in the remake). The acting is also very poor, but the worst problem of all is the atrocious Sam "the woodsman" Worthington.
His Aussie accent sounds totally absurd in Anciert Greece, he looks flabby and untoned as a demigod. His delivery is so bad as to make his screen presence almost totally absent...
Please don't just don't go and see this film. The 1981 original is far better (and that's no masterpiece).