Clash of the Bad

Rating: 1/10 (5 April 2010)

This movie may be the worst movie I have seen in a long time. It was at about 15 seconds in when I thought about going and trying to get my money back the first time.
The movie starts with a backdrop of space and a "myth" of the Kraken. This segment is so far from the Greek myth of Zeus overthrowing the Titans, my head nearly exploded on the spot. It was then I decided to look at the movie as if Greek myth was not the setting. I know the original was nowhere near the Greek myth, but it was still a good movie so I made the effort.
So I started to look at it as a remake. The original was a coming of age story of a young Hero, Perseus, trying to save his love, Andromeda, from the Kraken by journeying to find the head of the Medusa to kill the Kraken. In this movie the character of Andromeda seems tacked on. Perseus' love interest in this movie is Io. OK, whatever. Sure, Why not? These were the phrases I uttered constantly throughout the movie. From Perseus' complete disregard for human life while he cries he is not a god but a man, to the magic, scorpion riding, tree people. Not only did Perseus cry that he wants to beat the Kraken as a man, which is pointed out to him that a man can not do it, but he is automatically a bad ass. Even when the leader of the soldiers with him tries to take him to train, because he had never wielded a sword before, it end with Perseus winning and disarming the man who had quite probably spent his entire life using a sword. He is then given a magic sword and shuns it because it is a gift from the gods. He later uses it. He needs to get back to Argos quickly, so the Pegasus just shows up. He doesn't have to train it or try to earn its trust. It just shows up. This movie tries to tell you how man is better than the gods by the constant reminders. "Make sure you tell them, a man did this." is a quote as a man uselessly dies when he could have just closed his eyes. That said, I consider myself an atheist but never thought a movie of Greek myth would be so blatantly atheist. Then the story of how Medusa was raped in the temple and cursed for it, pretty much saying that her being raped was her fault. Nice message guys. So the story was bad, and quite possibly one of the worst plots in recent years. So how was it's effects and action sequences?
Terrible. That is the only word to describe it. There were scenes where the fights just dragged on and on.Way overdone, and predictable action. He ends up chasing a harpy though Argos on the Pegasus for twice as long as you actually see the Kraken on the screen. The effects are a really bad 3-D. There were a lot of times I just ended up taking off the glasses because it was so blurry. There was a lot of scenes that just seemed to be shot for the "jump factor" but did not surprise or shock.
So in closing, Do not see this movie. For the love of anything you consider dear, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. The wooden acting and the cheap effects and the bad plot, are too much. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.