the problem with this movie

Rating: 5/10 (12 August 2010)

OK, here is a problem, i am not going to review this film, i could, i could talk about the whole (OK, Sam, choose an accent please, and can someone in Hollywood realise that ancient people don't speak in statements, has tarantinos work been for nothing) i am going to tell you why it just cannot work as a movie, and its so simple you will kick yourself. it doesn't work because it was never meant to be a film, its a story passed on mainly from parents to children, for hundreds of years, and it will hopefully go on, it was never meant to be a big budget cgi fest, it wasn't meant to be given modern tweaks or action spectaculars, its just a simple story, like the Odyssey or fairy tales, or even local legends, is simple but surprising, its meant to be spoken, or at the worst read, not watched. people have talked about unfilmable things and i do think this is one, the problems faced and the solutions found are meant to be announced, with a dramatic pause, not a cut to secondary characters being killed until the solution is found, its myth and legend we are talking about here and i hope to god (or gods) that the simple surprise and beauty of this story isn't lost by some kid saying one day wasn't that a movie. its not a movie, was never meant to be, it was a story that some parent told their kid and that kid grew up and told their kid, and it may have been truth or fantasy but it is a good story on its own and deserves to be told, so parents, tell your kids the story, then let them see the movie, and i bet they prefer your tale to a multi million dollar movie, OK, they wont at first, but when they grow up, i will bet my life that they will tell their kids it too.