The candy man can't

Rating: 1/10 (18 July 2005)

As a boy I read the book at least 100 times. When the movie came out in 1971 I was 9 years old. I did not make comparisons between the book and the movie and eventually the movie became the way I remembered the story. Such a classic is the movie that comparisons between this movie and the original are inevitable, and that forms the basis for my review.
The first scene shows us the 5 golden tickets being placed on the candy bars. So already we are robbed of the surprise factor that the original has. The 5 tickets are placed on consecutive bars and apparently put into the same box...yet they end up all over the world. Also, we are told in a narration that Charlie will find one the tickets. Once again, the suspense aspect is lost in the remake.
The finding of the golden tickets occurs far too quickly. The original succeed in allowing us to agonize with Charlie as the tickets are found one by one. The original also depicts a more realistic view of the lengths to which the world tried to find the tickets. Also, there was no time interval at all between the time that Charlie finds out that the fifth ticket was a fake and he finds the fifth ticket.
The scene outside the factory lacks all the hoopla of the original. The fact that Wonka does not appear to the public in the remake is quite believable, but the "It's a small world" tribute to Wonka is not.
Willy Wonka comes across as a cross between a sadistic game show host and a pedophile. The scene involving Veruca Salt getting attacked by squirrels is quite disturbing as Wonka pretends to find the correct key to allow Mr. Salt to rescue his daughter.
The Oompa Loompa songs were the only thing I liked about the remake. Although the last song becomes tiresome with its endless imitations of famous musicians and groups.
Charlie Bucket is very likable, but he does not get enough screen time in a movie which is supposed to be about him.
Grandpa Joe is portrayed decently...but he cannot match the performance of Jack Albertson.
Veruca Salt lacks the whininess of the original. She is not credible as someone who gets her own way by throwing tantrums.
Mr. Salt comes across as one who is not controlled by his daughter, yet he caters to her every whim. This is a blatant contradiction.
Augustus and Mrs. Gloop were fine.
Mike Teevee claims to be some sort of genius who calculated the location of one of the tickets. Doesn't he know that this is a random event? And to call Wonka Vision a teleporter shows that he knows nothing about the conservation of mass. Then we again see the sadistic side of Wonka again as Teevee is repeatedly pummeled by Oompa Loompas and Rock-em Sock-em robots.
All of the flashbacks to Wonka's childhood add very little to the story. In the original we learn right away that Wonka is a little bit kooky and we are left to wonder why. Explaining it all by saying his dad was a dentist and would not let him eat candy is ludicrous. And what a waste of talent with Christopher Lee as the dad.
Lastly, I think Tim Burton's influence showed too heavily on this movie. Perhaps if I liked his work I would have a more favorable view. But as I said, the comparisons between this movie and the original are inevitable. The original is a great classic and the remake is destined to be a horrible flop. Thanks for reading.