Can't decide...

Rating: 1/10 (16 December 2009)

I can't decide whether the people who write positive reviews about this movie simply have very low IQs (maybe 80 or so) or are just being paid heaps of money by somebody to advertise the movie on IMDb. I don't understand how someone of even moderate intelligence could like this movie. I'm not going to go into its many, many, MANY faults because everyone else has, but I am just intrigued at the fact that there are ANY positive reviews at all.
To all those who thought he looked like Michael Jackson: I always thought so too. I'm glad I'm not the only one. It makes the Depp's portrayal of his character even creepier, given the allegations made about Jackson.
It's a pity, really, because Depp is a fairly good actor, when he has good material. I wouldn't say I liked him in all of his movies, but he's not a bad actor. Just terribly, terribly WRONG for this movie.
Mind you, I doubt it would have been any better if someone else had played Wonka, there are so many things wrong with this movie (kids, parents, Oompa-Loompas, music - WHERE are the good songs? - melting puppets, the script...if I wanted to submit myself to the torture of seeing the movie again I'm sure I could find more things, but I don't). I'm glad I didn't pay any money to see it.
I've recently watched the original for the first time in probably about a decade, and I love it even more than I used to. Wilder's dead-pan "No. Don't. Stop." is delightful, along with "I know a worse one" in response to Veronica's "Spitting is a dirty habit" while picking her nose. He plays the eccentric recluse wonderfully. On the other hand, Depp's dismissal of the children when they offer to introduce themselves is annoying and pathetic. The whole reason Wonka distributed the golden tickets was to find a potential heir (though why, at his age? He doesn't even look forty!) - shouldn't he try to learn as much as possible about the children for that purpose? There, I did go into it a tiny bit - merely the tip of the iceberg, though. (Where's the psychedelic boat ride? Mind you, I don't think they could have pulled it off with the high-pitched voice they used for Wonka.) Honestly, how anyone could really like this is beyond me.
Bewildered