Tim Burton Couldn't Tell a Plot if it Hit Him in the Face

Rating: 3/10 (25 July 2005)

I thought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory would be better than this. Unfortunately Tim Burton again manages to screw me out of $9.25. Granted I didn't have high hopes from this movie to begin with, but I believed it would be a more mature version of book than what was done in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (I happen to like this adaptation because Gene Wilder is enchanting as the eccentric factory owner). Tim Burton introduced a new form of dragging with this movie. He completely omits the main character from the film in favor of developing a back story for almost every character. The one with the longest and most intricate back story is Willy Wonka. His back story encompasses the entire second and third parts of the movie (that being the factory tour in flashbacks and the post factory tour). The only thing it accomplishes is explain Johnny Depp's portrayal of the character, which wasn't bad. Wonka is presented as a man-child with deep fears stemming from the authority of parents. This is why I prefer Gene Wilder's portrayal in the 1971 version because he acts like he's in control of the entire factory. He's an adult who sympathizes with childish surroundings. Depp acts like he's completely oblivious to his surroundings, which makes you wonder how he can get anything done. He acts almost like Howard Hughes, but without the get things done attitude and need to advance technology to the next generation, which you'd think be needed to run a factory and keep the Deep Roy's alive. Once you think the movie's over your hit in the face with the third part of the movie, which tries to tie up Wonka's back story. To make sure you know Charlie is still in the movie they run a short story on him before finishing up the Wonka plot. You wonder why this adaptation wasn't called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because Charlie had a much bigger role in the 1971 version. The movie ends in a nice little package but it is seriously deformed by Tim Burton's inclusion. The chocolate factory has the same Gothic styling and abrasive colors seen in every one of his movies. We know you have a signature, but Jesus try something else for a change. The musical numbers were also very weak. I read somewhere the lyrics came from the book, but the singing and the music were so awful I barely noticed them. Deep Roy needs to be shot so he cannot contaminate the rest of the world. If I wanted to see a bad musical number I would go see Rent. I only take solace in the fact this movie distracted Burton long enough for Batman Begins to correctly represent the Batman character. Thank you Tim Burton for not touching Batman in favor of adapting a newer version of the chocolate factory. You have truly placed yourself beside filmmakers like Ed Wood. At least he made bad movies with much smaller budgets.