New Wonka not worth watching

Rating: 5/10 (17 July 2005)

Watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is like eating a sugar-free chocolate bar: It looks delicious, but it leaves a funny aftertaste, and the overall experience is unsatisfying.
Johnny Depp's low-key, effeminate portrayal of Willy Wonka is the worst and cannot even be compared to the Gene Wilder's brilliant performance in the 1971 classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Depp is a good actor, but Wilder was a comic genius. Wilder's Wonka was a manic, frenetic, menacing, scrumpdiddleumptious delight. Depp's creation is just sad and creepy.
Naturally, the whole film is done in Tim Burton's dark/gloomy/Gothic style. Sure, the effects are better than the 1971 film, but the magic that thrilled kids of my generation is disappointingly missing in the new film.
The regally lovely Helena Bonham Carter is wasted as Charlie's mother. Burton decided to make her look gruesomely dowdy and her make-up includes gray and gunky teeth. In fact, everyone's teeth looked nasty in the movie, and looking up at them on a giant screen was making me sick. What's up with the close-ups on the ugly choppers, Tim? Jeez! Danny Elfman's score was predictably good, and his attempt to update and out-do the Oompa Loompa song and dance routines was the best part of the movie.
I still have vivid memories of the fantastic performances turned in by the child actors from the 1971 film. Veruca Salt screaming, I want it NOW!" Mike Teevee's shrunken voice saying, "Am I coming in clear?" Violet Beauregarde's gum-snapping, snappy comments. Those kids embodied the bad habits their character's represented. The kids in this new batch don't even come close.