An indictment of the modern world

Rating: 3/10 (3 April 2010)

In about 620 BC, Draco gave the ancient Greeks their very first law. It was this: the punishment for murder is to be exiled. The inevitable consequences of exile were loneliness, suffering, and to be removed from anything that is beautiful in society.
Scroll forward over two and a half millenia, and the same punishment is meted out to all those guilty of the crime of "Going To See Charlie And The Chocolate Factory", contrary to Section 1 of the "Tim Burton Awful Films Act 2005".
What is worse, the original book was a parable, especially for children, whereby it became possible to grow up in the modern world but retain the innocence of youth. Burton tears down from the temple the hallowed interpretation, and replaces it with a remake sullied in the pollution of sleaze and perversion. Why replace what is magical with what is dark? Why so savagely stick a knife through the enchanted, like the street mugging of a saint? How sad this all is. What a disaster of a film, of a concept. Stick to the 70s original version of this film: Gene Wilder's oddball but well-intentioned Willy Wonka. It was cheaper to make, but instantly satisfying and that surely is what a film about chocolate should be all about....