2005: A Film Tragedy

Rating: 1/10 (9 February 2007)

This movie was simply awful. I am waiting for someone, anyone, to point out that Johnny Depp was just terrible. The first twenty minutes, in a grandiose fashion, leads us to a giant man named Willy Wonka who can put the world on it's toes by putting gold tickets inside five candy bars. Then when you meet Wonka, he's nothing. Johnny Depp is as pale as a sheet; I'm not referring to his white makeup and fake white teeth, but his acting. He's doing an imitation of Jim Carrey doing an imitation of Michael Jackson. His Wonka not believable at all. The kids are just bad. Rich, and bad. You get the whole Hollywood push of "rich kids are evil, while poor kids are perfect", meanwhile, what about the children of Hollywood actors and producers and directors, are they exempt because their parents are artists instead of capitalists? I don't get it. I just don't get it. I really don't get this at all. This movie was so terrible. The songs were horrid. One Oompa Loompa playing them all of them was cheap and lame; and the songs made me hide my head in disgust. And there is a segment where Burton pays "tribute" to Stanley Kubrick's "2001", and it's all but blasphemous to people like me who literally worship classic films. In the original, Gene Wilder was believable. He really seemed like the character. He was the character. But Depp, as usual, was simply performing. Horrible. Horrible. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. A C.G.I. overkill.