Trades in joy in favor of awe

Rating: 3/10 (8 January 2006)

As one would expect, this modern take on Roald Dahl's story benefits greatly from advances in special effects; the look of both the bleak town and the factory interior are spectacular. I feel a bit of "awe fatigue" at this point, though, since $200 million films routinely strive for surprising visuals (often to the detriment of more down-to-earth qualities) and there's only so many things we can be truly surprised by.
The most glaring shortcoming of this "Chocolate Factory" is the bizarre, off-putting performance of Johnny Depp. He is as badly miscast as Gene Wilder was in the earlier film (Willy Wonka was both very old and a dwarf), but Wilder was very likable. Depp is just strange.
This one isn't a musical, so I can't really criticize it for not having songs, but I will say this: it could use some songs (besides the Oompa-Loompa musical lectures). The "reimagined" children are disappointing (gum-chewing and TV-watching aren't interesting enough flaws anymore so now we get hyper-competitiveness and technological precocity in their place). Veruca Salt is still a spoiled rich girl, but now she's self-aware enough to be two-faced, instead of throwing tantrums. It all makes for a long, slow tour through the factory.
The Oompa-Loompas are better in some ways and not in others--their look and songs are different, but they're too "modern" and seem out of place. They also pull the punches--we're told before he's even gone that no harm will come to Augustus Gloop, despite his clearly deserving it. It's better that we're not sure (like in the 1970 version).
All in all, this Tim Burton Vision of Dahl's story is a big, fat disappointment. The best parts of the story (like when Charlie believes the 5th ticket has been found, then gets the double surprise of the revelation of the forgery and getting his own ticket) are almost entirely skipped here. It's as if Burton doesn't want us to enjoy the story. If so, he got his way (at least with me).