Garbage. Absolute, pure, filthy garbage.

Rating: 1/10 (3 July 2008)

I honestly cannot see why anybody would like this rubbish over the original. Whereas the 1971 version sparkled with innocence, charm and magic, this monstrosity will leave you feeling violently ill and internally disturbed by the time the closing credits roll.
Let me begin by saying I don't personally enjoy Tim Burton's style, and didn't like the dark influence he brought to this film. Depp's Wonka is perhaps the creepiest character I've ever watched in a movie. Unlike Gene Wilder's eccentric yet loving Wonka, he openly expresses his disgust and hatred towards the children. One need only watch the scene in which a shrunken Mike Teavee is nearly stabbed by a vicious-faced Oompa-Loompa, or the one in which Veruca Salt is dragged screaming into the garbage chute while Wonka pretends he cannot find the right key to let Mr. Salt into save his daughter, to understand Wonka's cruelty. In the original, Wonka seemed merely disappointed and bored during the children's accidents, and he always kept his head; he knew no harm would befall the young troublemakers. Here, we see Wonka laughing, dancing and cheering as the Oompa Loompas sing about children being turned into chocolate and eaten.The scenes of the four naughty children's punishments were incredibly disturbing, and the jokes about cannibalism just made me cringe at the stupidity of it all.
Charlie Bucket, who should have been the main character, was a disappointment. Throughout most of the film he seems rather expressionless and bored, unlike the genuine and honest boy played by Peter Ostrum in the original movie. The 1971 Charlie had a dream; he wanted more than his poverty-stricken life, he strived to help his family out of tight situations, he wasn't perfect, but he was a believable character, and that's what made him so lovable; he was just like us all. This Charlie doesn't seem to care about anything; he seems perfectly happy with his life and hardly seems to care about getting a golden ticket. The other children are equally disappointing; Violet Beauregarde manages to pull off her characters fairly well, but even so she had little to work with.
The songs in the original were hopeful and inspiring, such as the charming 'Candy Man,' and 'I've Got a Golden Ticket,' the heartwarming 'Cheer up Charlie,' and the magnificent 'Pure Imagination.' In this new version,the only songs we get are a cheesy welcome song in which childlike puppets explode and melt into ghoulish wraith like figures, plus the nauseating Oompa-Loompa filth. The emotional 1971 ending with Wonka, Charlie and Grandpa Goe in the elevator has been replaced with Wonka refusing the other Buckets to enter the factory, becoming a hobo, and eventually reuniting with his abusive dentist father (???)
In a short review with a maximum of 1, 000 words I simply can't do justice to the badness of this movie, so I'll leave it at this: the old movie has a positive and uplifting message that will bring tears to even the coldest eye. This one crushes the viewer down into the dust while screaming its message into their face. So, unless you enjoy stupid jokes, children in despair and nauseating songs, don't waste any money on this soulless, emotionally disturbing piece of filth.