Romans go home!

Rating: 7/10 (18 March 2019)

I know I shouldn't, but I'm incapable of watching any form of media surrounding the Roman Empire without my mind recalling every quote from the classic Monty Python film, 'The Life of Brian.' There, they were depicted as buffoons and lampooned mercilessly. I guess the people of the numerous lands they conquered in real life wouldn't have agreed too much with the escapades of Biggus Diccus and his cohorts.
'Centurion' is about the leader (Michael Fassbender) of a legion of doomed Roman troops, sent in to deal with the uprising locals in the north of England and, in particular, Scotland. Apparently, those Scots (or 'Picts' as they were really, back then) were dealing heavy losses to Roman battalions and something has to be done about it. Sadly, for most of Fassbender's party (and I'll keep calling him by the actor's name, seeing as every time I see a - supposedly - authentic Roman name of the period, I keep thinking it looks something like 'Naughtness Maximus!') they get completely wiped out, leaving just him and a handful of others on the run from a band of bloodthirsty locals.
And there is plenty of blood. It's not for the faint-hearted and there are plenty of limbs being hacked off left, right and centre. It's primarily one long chase film with action set-pieces thrown in. And it's all good if that's what you're looking for. I'm no historian, so I can't tell you if every Roman infantry man's costume is 100% accurate, or whether this was what it was like back then. But it is a fairly decent action film.
It's also well-directed, but then you'd expect that from Neil Marshall (the creative force behind such great little gems as 'Dog Soldiers, The Decent and Doomsday'). I would say that it's worth pausing while you're watching the film and ask yourself the question, 'Who are the 'real' good guys?' In 'Dog Soldiers' the werewolves were clearly the bad guys, then you had the monsters in 'The Decent' and the cannibal gangs in 'Doomsday.' Here, the Romans are clearly the underdogs, but, if you think about it, they are - technically - an invading and most unwelcome force in an occupied land, so are the Picts well within their rights to hack their heads off for fun?
I read somewhere that it's based on a true story. And when I say 'true' I mean in 'Hollywood terms,' i.e. there was a sort of account of something that happened that might be a bit like this and this film is one way that events COULD have unfolded. Anyway, it's still good fun. Although there are a few other actors in the film you may recognise from this or that, Fassbender is the only one that you'll remember (unless you count the mute psychotic lady Pict with her blue war-paint sent to dispatch him - I certainly wouldn't mess with her!).
There's a - pretty superfluous - love interest thrown in there, but it doesn't impact too much on the action and the gore. It's a fun little period action film that is definitely entertaining. Just try not to think of 'The Life of Brian' too much and shouting 'Bl**dy Romans!' too much at the screen while you watch it!