In Speilberg's world...

Rating: 5/10 (2 January 2004)

Welcome to Steven Speilberg's world, a parallel universe where nuance, subtlety and personal interpretation are non-existent. In this world FBI agents are stumbling lead-footed stooges, wearing identical MIB suits and porkpie hats, who enter a suspected check-forger's apartment with handguns drawn, shouting "CLEAR!" as they stumble about from room to room. In this world a love scene must be accompanied by items on a bedside room service cart being knocked off one-by-one. A conversation between two secret agents must be shot in silhouette against an ominous blue background. A police station should be as glossily lit as a top European fashion emporium. The precocious hero must be able to escape an airplane lavatory in mere seconds, without tools, by removing 4 tiny screws. The love interest must be blonde, the in-laws stern, the failed father edgy, brittle and possibly nuts (Christopher Walken will do). And most of all the hero's dubious achievements must be shown to have benefited society in the long term and any of his character flaws attributed to youth, naivety and bad upbringing. After all, this is a movie and we can't have a fundamentally flawed hero or a morally ambiguous ending. Even if the said "hero" bilked countless innocent people out 4 million dollars.
It would be nice if just once Spielberg could depict a story or a sequence of events as they might realistically occur rather than having to plaster everything with his trademark gloss and worn-out directorial flourishes. It would be nice if you could come out of one of his movies with an opinion rather than an answer.
5 out of 10.