"So... that's it."

Rating: 6/10 (3 February 2001)

WARNING: REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Robert Zemeckis had a brilliant idea for a film... strand Tom Hanks miles from civilisation on a desert island. The only down part is he decided to bring him back.
Bobby Zee does well with the directing duties, though still lacks the sufficient maturity to carry it off to its full potential. Witness the opening scenes where a rather obvious point of view shot follows a parcel from site to site... fine for a fast-paced, cartoon-like actioner, but incongruous in a film like this. But a genuinely unsettling plane crash takes us fairly quickly into the main objective: the desert island.
Despite their being no women on the island, Tom still manages to catch crabs. In fact, that's probably one of the better effects, as surely animal rights activists would prevent a real crab being skewered on film? The film also gives us a whale, though neither is as groundbreaking as Zemeckis' achievements with product placement. Instead of all that pesky putting them slyly into a scene, he simply makes Federal Express part of the plot. Though this full-bore advert doesn't stop Bobby Zee sneaking in a can of Dr.Pepper, the little tinker!
Some of the first things Hanks comes across are a rotting corpse and a football, which he respectively buries and hurls away. Presumably in a jealous rage in case they act him off the screen. Hanks' much-touted weight loss reminds you of one of the most famous actors to attempt such a feat, albeit in reverse: Robert De Niro in Raging Bull. The comparison isn't favourable. Can you imagine Tom Hanks in Taxi Driver? ("You talkin' ta me? Cos if you are I'll buy you a lovely soft teddy bear and some sweets") But mickey-taking aside, Hanks does do commendably well in what is largely a one-man film, highlighting his character's madness without ever taking it too far into the realms of comedy. And his winsome, helpless expression is quite endearing... you know, sort of like a baby seal before you're just about to club it? Hanks spends a lot of the film looking at his watch, which is a nice post-modern touch as, by a curious coincidence, that's exactly what the audience are doing.
There's a striking lack of incidental music, so that when orchestral sweeps do emerge they seem overly sentimental and out of place. In fact, they mark Tom's return to his old life, which is where the film falters slightly. While Hanks is watchable on his own, he fails to generate any real chemistry with Helen Hunt. Hanks philosophises to a friend in a chair, where he strings more trite clichÃ©s together than C.J. in an episode of Reggie Perrin. We then follow him driving his van, while the vague Elvis theme running throughout culminates in "Return to Sender". What would they have chosen if he were a priest? "Devil in Disguise"?
A garishly unsubtle religious reference wraps up a film that ain't bad, but is worthy of no more than... 6/10.