Failing upwards

Rating: 6/10 (20 November 2006)

Okay so here's my 2 cents. If we go back to Goldeneye we learn that M (Judy Dench) hadn't been head of MI6 for that long since Bond (Pierce Brosnan you are missed) mentions that her predecessor kept some cognac... hinting that since he last had a drink in that office there was another M in charge... which couldn't have been that long ago. With that in mind, how is it we jump back in time to the beginning of when Bond became a 00 agent and with Judy Dench still playing the part? Sean Connery was the first, George Lazenby was an accident, a total mistake, Roger Moore was the wimp and a gentleman. Timothy Dalton played the cold-hearted Bond, who wasn't a gentleman, but an agent who wanted the job to be over and done with, he was good. And then we have Pierce Brosnan, the gorgeous, charming gentleman that not only could get the job done, he got it done with style, finesse and he even got the girl in the end. Yes, he was perfect, perfect as Bond and simply the perfect man altogether. Now as for Daniel Craig... He did an okay job of playing a cold version of Bond, but that's already been done by Timothy Dalton. He couldn't charm anyone even if he paid them, he does NOT look good in a suit, and by smashing the Aston Martin he is no gentleman... And he's blonde. His body is too big for his head, or his head is to small for his body, whichever way, he is not the right Bond. I heard somewhere that there was this whole thing about how he emerged out of the water and the scene wasn't supposed to be in the movie, but since all the females (and males) were gasping because of his torso, the scene stayed in. I've seen better. Yes there was that freaky scene where he is tortured by getting his jewels smashed in a few times, and then he just passed out. He didn't have his super stunning tooth (or whatever. Since he was naked... he could have had a secret weapon attached to his nipple) that could knock anyone out for hours and his trusty watch to cut him loose, no... there was no O, P, Q or R branch that could save him. And then there was the Ford Focus.. granted it was car of the year some years ago, but seriously, if I wanted to see a Ford I would have just gone to the showroom! I wanted to see the amazing sports cars, this was a James Bond movie, super agent with all the cool gadgets that one can hope for and the super cars one can only hope to be in the proximity of. That's my rant. I give this movie a 1/10. Not near as interesting as any of the other James Bond movies... including never say never again.