As time goes by, the film will still suck!

Rating: 6/10 (1 August 2014)

WARNIG! Don't watch Casablanca because you will regret it, "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."
The biggest travesty and atrocity a kid could ever be inflected with, is when you're given the crushing blow that Santa is not real. Well take that dreadful feeling and then multiply it by a thousand, and you might just be able understand the heart wrenching pain that I felt after so many years of eager anticipation to watch supposedly one of the greatest films of all time, only to find out the hard way upon watching Casablanca, that the film doesn't live up to anywhere close to all the hype surrounding it. Trust me finding that Rudolf, the elves and Santa workshop didn't exist was a walk in the park compared to this!
1941 was in the grips of a deadly second world war, but while the rest of Europe was going up in flames, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) was living it up in the sun, sea and sand of Morocco where he remained entirely neutral whilst cozying it up in a nightclub and gambling den in Casablanca. But trouble is at foot as the Germans come looking for a famous Czech Resistance fugitive leader by the name of Victor Lazio. But then to shovel another tone onto Ricks plate; "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." The love of his life Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) that once broke his heart returns to cause trouble again.
Okay so what's wrong with it, gosh there is so much to point out, I'm going dizzy just thinking about it. Now I'm sat down, let me make it easier for myself, what's good about it...umm well? I'm stumped, I've literally scratched my head so much, I think I've left myself with a bald patch. The first blatant criticism is the rotten acting that leaves a wretched smell in the air and horrible unsavoury taste in the mouth. Like come on if I wanted to see such wooden performance I would go to a Shakespeare in the park where all the character are played by actual trees! Imagine how many times in the entire film did Rick ever show even a flicker of emotion in the film, the answer is (drum roll please) zero, cero and null. But this ain't an episode of who wants to be a millionaire and I'm not Terry Crews, so don't be expecting any cash prizes. Instead from Rick all you get is one long continuous monotone delivery of each and every line, which unfortunately to my ears sounds similar to a heart monitor flat lining. But don't think for a moment that Ilsa will resuscitate the morbid desolation that becomes of Casablanca at the hands of Rick. Because Ilsa has the habit of always turning smiles upside down, her character has no backbone and merely sways back and forth between both Lazio (Husband) and Rick like she were a hula skirt in the wind anytime she sees fit. In the entire film I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a single thought in the film that doesn't involve either one of the two men.
However on a good note, while the acting was crummy, the words coming from their mouths were surprisingly rather good. I've used quite a few quotes from the film in my review because the dialogue in Casablanca was clever, witty and enjoyable to hear and thus quite right the scriptwriter pair of the Epstein brothers and Howard Koch received Oscar recognition for their exploits. Also what I do applaud is the way Michael Curtiz weaves into the film the ethos of always having the courage to resist and triumphing against whatever evil the world may try to put in your way. Anytime you see inside of Rick's bar it is constantly brimming with joy and happiness, which is a refreshing sight to witness when you consider that above all their heads is suffocating Nazi shaped black cloud. The best illustration of this is in the scene where Victor he spurs the customers in Rick's cafe to a deifying yet beautiful rendition of Marseillaise, effectively drowning out the chorus of Nazis singing. But don't confuse my compliments with me softening up to Casablanca, the film still sucks!