Best Movie Ever Made for Old, Balding Males and Housewives!

Rating: 1/10 (15 August 2000)

The acting is cheesy (Bogart is his usual plastic self), but acceptable considering the time it was made. The dialogue is only good if you pretend that it's done tongue in cheek (which it isn't -- and if you are of the opinion that lines like "Is that cannon fire or the beating of my heart?" and "I can't think anymore, so you think for both of us!" are not laughable, then you are wallowing in self-denial. I'll bet you saw Titanic more than twice in the theaters, too...)
This is often called a war movie, but don't be fooled -- it's even less about war than Gone With the Wind, which is to say that there *is* a war happening, but it's largely irrelevant as a plot contrivance (which, incidentally, is entirely inaccurate from a historical prospective. There was no such thing as a letter of transit).
In essence, a glorified chick-flick which will hopefully fall away into nostalgic obscurity as my generation continually thrusts spectacular films by Kubrick (may he rest in peace), Fincher (well, Fight Club and Seven, anyway)and Ridley into the forefront.