Your most unenthusiastic Owen Wilson "Wow!" here...

Rating: Null/10 (22 March 2019)

Cars is the story of Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson), a race car on the brink of glory, who gets separated from his pit crew on the way to his big race in California. He ends up stranded in a small rural town along the legendary Route 66. Will he learn to cherish the American values of working hard and respecting his fellow human... cars?
Does the Pope have a balcony?
Cars is not a terrible film. It has the reputation of being the first "bad" Pixar film, but there is an argument to be made that it merely isn't great instead of being outright bad. Which in Pixar terms makes it bad, but you get the point.
What bothers me the most with this film is the fact that it is such an odd idea. How are these cars made? Are there any baby cars? If yes, where do they come from? What's inside these living breathing cars? Do they bleed? How do they build all these elaborate locations and place all these tiny little things on shelves, seeing as they don't have any hands? Can a car feel pain?
The universe is simply one neat idea that's never examined properly. My friends and I spent far too much time riffing on all the implausibilities of the movie universe. Sure it passed the time, but we ended up missing most of the story. That's how little we cared.
And it's not like the story is anything to write home about. It's your typical story about a hotshot guy stranded in a rural setting, learning a valuable lesson about community and hard work. Seen it!
Cars is inoffensive and can be shown to kids. Its characters are likable in a very basic way and there's nothing that's outright awful about it. But that's the nicest thing I can say about it. An easy skip, I would say.