Dishearteningly bad

Rating: 4/10 (11 December 2011)

Pixar's Cars was easily their weakest feature, yet it certainly had a charm to it. While the car characters themselves looked a little cheap, the world they lived in had nice, pretty detail, and their Rocky Mountain hometown was lovely. Cars 2 not only replaces Cars as Pixar's weakest, it's actually dishearteningly awful. It jettisons every ounce of charm from the original, as well as the detail (probably because it was made as a 3D movie, so the backgrounds aren't going to be seen anyway), and puts Larry the freakin' Cable Guy in the lead (Owen Wilson's Lightning McQueen is barely even in the film, and would probably be like fourth billed if not for his contract). This film belongs on the shelf next to Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector and Witless Protection, not Wall-E and Up. The plot has McQueen and 'Mater (Larry's character, if you don't know) going around the world to a series of races so McQueen can prove he's the fastest car alive. 'Mater is mistaken for a secret agent by a James Bond-like Michael Caine-mobile and Emily Mortimer and has to foil an evil plot by someone or other. I really couldn't be bothered to give a damn about any of it. It's very busy, and I'm sure small children will like it, but it's vapid as Hell. It really feels like one of those Disney direct-to-DVD sequels, possibly even worse. Let's hope Pixar will learn its lesson from this one.