Desperately in need of a tripod

Rating: 1/10 (13 April 2014)

1) Redefines the word "shaky cam" and I'm not even talking about action scenes. I'm talking about the whole film, even those scenes filmed on land. It seems that all the money went to pay Hanks and they didn't have enough left for a tripod. After the first 4 minutes of this film I needed a brown bag.
2) Speaking of brown bag, the opening scene is so stilted and forced, I knew that the rating of this film had to be skewed. And Tom Hanks' accent - what on earth was it? A New England or Boston accent? The word "suck" does not even do the atrocious attempt justice. Hanks does a good job doing Hanks - that's it. He's not a great actor - just great at his one dimension playing himself.
3) The story is based on a true story.... loosely. What makes me positively ill is that this hero tripe is passed off as if it was the real thing, which it isn't and wasn't. But Hollywood needs to have a hero who is greater than life, passing it off as if it was true and that "based on a true story" means it's basically the truth but a summary of what actually happened.
So if you value your time and keeping your food down, this movie may not be for you. It's really not very good and extremely amateurish. But with Hollywood tossing out dreck every month and redoing every prior film, musical, superhero and idea they can get their hands on, even this tripe looks good to the sad masses.