These High Review Scores Are Fake

Rating: 3/10 (30 November 2013)

I tend to write comprehensive reviews but for this movie there is simply no need. It's plain boring and the high scores it's receiving are clearly just due to marketing, in the same way that Justin Bieber has more fake twitter followers than real ones.
The acting is just fine but the plot is practically non-existent. Between pirates getting on a cargo ship and Navy Seals shooting some faces, what is in between in not an exposé on the unfortunate causes for this piracy problem (only 3 lines are said on the topic) nor is it a tense thriller (unless you think listening to Somalian men rant, fueled by claustrophobia and general cluelessness every other minute is a riveting way to spend 2 hours). The script is garbage, the pirates are absolute morons and Tom Hanks does little but mumble or sit quietly. This is a 15 minute short stretched into a feature length that gives you the hope of something interesting happening until you realize it's building towards nothing and you've just wasted your time.