Rubbish.

Rating: 2/10 (9 March 2019)

All Captain Marvel reveals:
1. Alien threat assessment tech will read a human male as "threat level: low to NONE".
2. Don't tell a lady to smile, or she will steal your bike: because it's 2019, sexism is like a hate crime, so telling a lady to smile is worse than theft.
3. Don't call a woman "young lady", even if she's middle aged and it might seem like a compliment, because it's offensive and she will shove it where the sun don't shine, because it's 2019, and verbal sexism is on par with physical violence.
4. Choosing safety of your family, and your own personal safety (so you can remain a parent to your child) is setting a bad example for your child. Especially if you are a woman, because motherhood should be on the bottom of your priority list.
5. The Avengers are called "The Avengers" because Carol Denvers' air-force call-sign was "Avenger". You don't need to know why. Just that she it makes her 'the first avenger', despite Captain America previously being called The First Avenger, because wahmen.
6. Nick Fury mis-spoke in Captain America 2: he lost his eye not because of "the last time I trusted SOMEONE"; it is "the last time I trusted SOMETHING". Because it is revealed he lost an eye when he held a cat too close and it scratched his eye. Yes: no life changing lesson on betrayal, he lost his eye (and the lore behind it) because of a pussy-(cat).
7. Captain America 1, Guardians 1 were all wrong: first, the tesseract will not just burn a hole through terrestrial Earth materials, because you can just put it in a tin box and it'll be fine. Second, even as a demi-god like Starlord, or an enchanced human like Red-Skull, humans can withstand power from an Infinity Gem, but only if you're wahmen. But only an outspoken feminist wahmen: if you're not an outspoken feminist (even a semi-superhuman alien like Gamora) you will still disintegrate.
8. Captain Marvel can do ANYTHING. That's all you need to know going into Engame: she can fly, she can teleport, or if not teleport she can travel through time (otherwise she would break Einsteins law of relativity flying back from deep-space), and she can also act as an antenna booster because she received the pager in deep-space. (I should explain this a bit, a pager sends a message, but you need another pager to receive on the other end. Carol gave Fury's pager back to him, the one we saw in Inifinity War, and left Earth without a corresponding pager. So yeah, she basically became a super antenna and can intercept all forms of digital transmissions... I guess? Like seriously, feminist writing...lol).