The trailers were 100% accurate.

Rating: 3/10 (8 March 2019)

This is the first movie I've ever seen where the trailers are 100% accurate. It really is as boring, flat and dry as the trailer suggests.
Larson has no presence, no charisma. She's absolutely flat, no passion anywhere.
The amount of retcons is absolutely ludicrous.
The constant appeals to nostalgia are just irritating.
The attempts at jokes are pitiful.
Certain parts of the plot are completely nonsensical (just look at Nick Fury.)
The whole thing is mediocre at best, and just a complete waste of time and money at worst. The only time this movie really picked up was in a mid-credit scene. The after credit scene got nobody in the theater excited. It was a "Seriously?" moment. Congratulations Marvel, you Johnson'd it.
All my points are for Goose the cat, because cats rule.