This flick is the story of a bunch of guys cruelly messing around . . .

Rating: 10/10 (13 March 2019)

. . . with a young lady's mind. These malicious miscreants even create a misleading, counterfeit, false hologram of title character "Carol's" courageous female mentor to make it seem as if there are women involved along with the men in their sordid masculine perfidy. CAPTAIN MARVEL goes a long way toward baring out the famous adage, "The only good man is a DEAD man." When you finally get down to tin tacks, who can Carol REALLY trust when she morphs into CAPTAIN MARVEL, other than her spiritual guide "Wendy," her best friend "Maria," and Maria's young sprout, "Monica"? DIE HARD recently learned NOT to put his trust in some wild, one-eyed "Glass" jack; why should Carol? (She probably does NOT hanker to get drowned in a mud puddle!) Besides her women friends, the other main thing Carol has going for her are her trigger fingers. CAPTAIN MARVEL proves herself to be an ambidextrous shooter, exercising her Second Amendment rights with two-fisted Equal Opportunity. Unfortunately, not all of us will enjoy the Good Fortune to have Carol's firepower magically appear at our fingertips. Many of us cannot afford even measly military assault-style rifles, let alone such vital accessories as extended magazines, laser sights, and ample ammo. That's why YOU need to Join the Movement TODAY by supporting your local chapter of BANGS (Broke Americans Need Gun Stamps)!