Captain Yadda...Yadda...Yadda

Rating: 4/10 (11 March 2019)

GRADE: C-
THIS FILM IS NOT RECOMMENDED.
IN BRIEF: A minor superhero movie with minor results.
JIM'S REVIEW: First, let me hereby state that I am not a comic book hero aficionado. This blockbuster fantasy genre is not the least bit endearing to me. My knowledge base is extremely limited as well. So I had some slight confusion with the new updating version of Captain Marvel's image. I asked myself, "Just when did captain Marvel go through transgender re-alignment?" Shazam, I remember this superhero being a muscular vision of masculinity back in the fifties. Now, he is a she! Upon further research, I discovered that this superhero he-man carried the same monicker as this new cinematic version. It appears that the one superhero that I knew in childhood came from an alternate universe, namely DC Comics. The other appeared later in the seventies when its rival company, Marvel Comics, introduced a woman empowerment heroine, also named Captain Marvel, a.k.a. Carol Danvers. This is her story. Soon to be a franchise. No snip, snip here, unless you count this film's frenzied editing.
This new movie, Marvel's Captain Marvel, plops her into a time warp somewhere in the middle of the nineties. Complete with clunky computers that take forever to boot, Blockbuster Video tapes, brightly-lit pinball machines, troll dolls, and a catchy rock score, we meet our superwoman, a poor man's version of Wonder Woman. Brie Larson plays her without the wonder. The actress has a likable personality and fits nicely into her form-fitting latex uniform as she battles evil. That is all she is asked to do...look intense, kick ass, and be attractive. The side effect of all this dare-doing is that our heroine seems to be suffering from memory lapses that haunt her. Throughout most of the film, she tries to piece together these moments unsuccessfully, just like the screenwriters.
The story is a real muddle, adding some twists to its anemic plot while providing small morsels to the Marvel mythology to please its fanbase. Other familiar supporting characters from other series are present such Nick Fury as her sidekick, played once again by Samuel L. Jackson, and an introduced-but-quickly-forgotten walk-on appearance by Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson of the Avengers fame. It all make no real sense but, at least, the screenwriting team of Geneva Robertson-Dworet, and her co-writers and the film's directors, Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, tried to rally and provide some details to their failing narrative.
Everything follows the same safe formula of other Marvel films: a superhero trying to harness her powers and find her inner self, bad guys are there to stand in her way, too many chase sequences and blurry battle action occupy most of the screen time, more overkill of CGI upstaging the actors, the expected Stan Lee cameo, an uplifting finale...yadda... yadda...yadda. Same old, same old. And it is a total bore...plus a waste of time for moviegoers and all of the actors involved.
The direction of this dud is sub-standard, but I credit the directors with assembling a cast of talented actors like Jude Law, Annette Bening, Djimon Hiunsou, Lee Pace, and Ben Mendelsohn, even if they are given little to do other than strut in slow motion whenever they walk, over emote, or shoot lightning bolts at one another and bounce off walls. So much for depth of character. The action scenes are poorly staged and filmed. Special effects are far from special. There is zero chemistry between Ms. Larson and Mr. Jackson. Their dialog and unfunny banter lacks any modicum of wit or charm, so this time I free these fine actors from blame due to their strong resume of prior work. (Note to filmmakers: When any pet, in this case an orange cat, steals the show, something is amiss.
As entertainment goes, Captain Marvel is middle-of-the-road fare. Little girls may relate to a female superhero and buy into this action figure and teenage boys may lust after Ms. Larson, but the character still remains a minor superhero in comparison. On the big screen, Captain Marvel delivers no excitement and has very little to...well, Marvel. Yadda...yadda...yadda.