Guten tag her Blaskovitz

Rating: 2/10 (27 July 2011)

Every time the heavy solider walked in I could not laugh and say "Guten tag her Blaskovitz". I know its Captain America and its better than the previous versions, but it is still unbearable not to rif on.
OK, ignoring one lousy editing shot around the end, the movie has good visuals and feels adequate. It's what many wanted out of such a movie after previous failed attempts.
But the main hero is a hypocritical boy scout. He says he doesn't want to kill anybody, yet desperately try's to enlist into the war as a soldier, and in the end deliberately throws enemy soldiers out of a airborne bomber.
The first half of the movie is about a CGI man in his 30es, as it's impossible to take that voice seriously with that body. Any skinny stand-in would have sufficed for this, but they decided to dangle CG for 40 minutes in front of us and think we would not notice. And then they make a pro-steroid add outright into a hulk rip-off.
The idea to throw the Red skull as an independent German villain during WWII is just insane. His Hydra monologues sound like he thinks being slapped by the enemy makes him stronger. His superweapons are overpowerfull, but never properly utilized because his soldiers are stromtrooper dumb. And where does he get his easily replaceable loyal henchmen in such numbers? Not from the Hitler loving loyalist Nazis that's for shore.
But what's really unbearable is how the two powers meet every time. Nobody can see some guy skulking around at a well lit military base, or fire anywhere other than at his shield, which covers only 1/3 of his body. Hell, the badguys even have flamethrowers to deal with the guy, but every time something stupid saves his hide.
Oh, and the ending "I wanted to bring you in slow" and that's why I even made you a fake girlfriend and put you into an easily escapable facility in the middle of NY, after which you get a very odd looking finger by Uncle Sam.
Its too insane not to rif on. My best was: You labeled one of your nukes "New Yourk"? I'm now half expecting the camera to pan off and see another labeled "Mutter".