I'm Giving Her All She's Got, Captain!

Rating: 3/10 (26 December 2012)

As I've noted in other criticisms of comic-book themed feature films, superheroes have got it rough these days. With competition from the likes of The Dark Knight and Iron Man, it's not easy to distinguish oneself as a stand alone enterprise that paves its own way in the world of masks, capes and super-human abilities.
That being said, it should come as no surprise that Captain America was an inevitability. With the recent success of Thor (and a variety of other films that aim to tie together The Avengers series into one "super" movie), it was only a matter of time before we were thrust back to World War II and the exploits of the runt-turned-muscle-man protagonist that wields a shield made of the rarest metal on Earth (I forget the name, but, honestly, does it really matter?).
Because of the pro-democracy propaganda inherent in the story, I initially identified Captain America as a film with a lot of promise. Early on, the movie makes good on that potential. There are some noteworthy instances that find our newly-fashioned American savior being reduced to a gaudy sideshow whose sole purpose is to sell war bonds. When this sort of real world commentary is effectively interwoven into the story is when Captain America tends to work best. In these instances, there's the sense that the writers have shirked any desire to follow the stereotypical comic book pastiche and have aimed for something much deeper (and, perhaps, more important).
Unfortunately, these moments are few and far between. After the first half hour Captain America digresses into an explosion-heavy shoot-em-up that finds Hugo Weaving assuming the role of a ridiculously over-the-top Nazi scientist who has inexplicably transformed into a power-hungry mutant with a red face (and no nose). Things go from barely-likable-B- movie to unbearable garbage in about 2.5 seconds, and the conclusion is equally as tedious, resulting in more eye-rolling than any film I can remember in recent memory. What's especially nauseating about all of this is watching an actor with the chops of Tommy Lee Jones bumble around a CGI-laden environment with utter indifference.
For one reason or another, a lot of people seemed to be saying "O' Captain, My Captain'" upon the movie's theatrical release. I'm not sure why that is, as the whole production winds up being little more than a numbingly stupid action flick. In the end, it's the missed opportunities regarding the historical implications of a character like Captain America that sting the most.