recycled, contrived, over-the-top studio schlock

Rating: 3/10 (1 February 2012)

Captain America is the latest lackluster installment in the increasingly stale genre that is comic-books. I should have known better than to go into the theater with any sort of expectation, but alas, there I was, popcorn in hand, cautiously excited at the prospect of a WWII superhero movie. At about the 15 minute mark, I sank wearily back into my seat and braced myself for the another 110 minutes of recycled, contrived, over-the-top studio schlock.
The audience is introduced to pre-Captain America Steve Rogers and from the outset it is clear that all plausibility is being thrown out the door. Captain America wastes no time setting up a believable character in Rogers, instead mindlessly diving into emotional manipulation to the nth degree. These poorly conceived and overtly contrived early scenes attempt to cast him as a Rudy-type i.e. has all the heart, but none of the physicality. The establishment of this caricature is insultingly obvious and ridiculously over-the-top. In addition, actor Chris Evans was digitally altered in post-production to be smaller in these scenes and the result is a distracting, mousy look that looks creepily unnatural. The human eye is very good at spotting things that are not real and for the first twenty or so minutes it is difficult to overlook.
The movie finally stumbles into the heart of its story by having Rogers participate in a military experiment that vastly increases his size and strength. Now, one of the central reasons that I allowed myself some optimism concerning this movie was the time period and corresponding bad guys. This is World War II. Nazis. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indiana Jones. Awesomeness. This leads me to the most frustrating aspect of Captain America. The writers inexplicably choose to do away with the Nazis by making the baddies some weird offshoot blandly named Hydra. Why in God's name would you change the antagonists from the most universally recognizable and despised group in modern history to some lame, generic faction named Hydra? The work is basically done for you. Everyone already hates the Nazis. You get a free pass on explaining who they are and why they are evil. Everybody already knows. I have a gut feeling that politics came into this decision. American society, especially Hollywood, is terrified of offending anyone. This movie is a paradigm to in-offensiveness. The ridiculous multi-cultural team backing up Captain America is further proof of the anachronistic politically correct mindset of these writers.
The central conflict is so generic and bland that it hardly deserves any explanation. I'll give you a sentence. Hydra wants some sort of mystical power cube that it can use to take over the world. Meh. Its really just a vehicle to get Captain America into the monotonous action scenes that are completely devoid of importance, meaning, and suspense. Captain America himself is so flawless that there is really no question of how it is all going to turn out. Yes, I know this is a superhero movie. Yes, I realize that Captain America is supposed to be a little hokey. But a little relatable human imperfections would go a long way into making him a more engaging character. Nolan's Batman is interesting because we see how tortured and unsure he is. He makes mistakes and is full of doubt. Captain America is an Abercromie and Fitch model with the personality of Mitt Romney.
There are too many problems in Captain America to point at one thing. Its the lack of depth in the 'written by committee' script. Its the cookie cutter character of Captain America himself. Its the unwillingness to break new ground or push the boundaries even a little bit. The success of Spider Man and Batman has set off a production company feeding frenzy into comic-books. At this point, it looks like Hollywood is merely cashing in rather than trying to create something new and fresh.