The idiocracy dictated by movie tickets

Rating: 3/10 (3 May 2016)

This latest chapter in the never-ending "Disney Secure IP Investment" saga has the usual cartoon characters (such as Captain Return of Investment, Iron Rehab Man and Sony-Deal-Man) quickly moving and jumping through the screen to amuse millennials who are bored with their current smart phone for 150 minutes. This "film" adds up a new lineup of heartbreaking sell outs such as Martin Freeman, Daniel Bruhl and William Hurt, all whose their threshold between dignity and bank account have finally been crossed, joining previous familiar sell outs such as Paul Bettany, Scarlett Johansson and, inexplicably, Don Cheadle.
The nonsensical, incomprehensible plot follows Formula 1 pilot Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl, reprising his role from "Rush") arranging an elaborate, over-the-top revenge scheme against the cartoon characters, forcing them to fight for our enjoyment, like a 21st century Mandingo fight for children, a plan only vaguely possible due to uncontrollable and unforseable events such as the United Nations resolution. Under a man-child prism of the world's politics, the script takes the cartoon characters to move between exposition scenes and action storyboards, all in the very awkward dichotomy of juvenile writing and over-expensive "film making".
Any little enjoyment that can come from this movie requires accepting the dooming idiocracy that controls our world, economy, politics and fate; embrace your inner idiot and laugh at a giant cartoon character holding a small, tin-man character.
How many insightful, meaningful and intelligent films we could have produced, under the realms of real talents, with this "film's" budget? How many excellent pieces of cinema, inspiring and motivating, touching and thought-provoking, could have been made if the masses preferred content over shiny objects? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? We may never know; we may only cry for the lost art that will never be.
Watch it in the unnecessary headache-inducing half-assed-converted 3D.