Captain America: Crimean Crisis

Rating: 6/10 (24 June 2016)

As much as I enjoyed superheroes going nuts without exactly going Man of Steel about it, the premise of the movie is ... damn...
I thought Batman vs Superman was ridiculous in terms of writing, but I can't believe I'm saying this - Marvel has outdumbed DC. Big time. They get saved by generally much more likable cast, but swallowing it gets hard. Captain series might be serious\dramatic, but if second movie was a fresh breath, then this is a bigger convolution than Week of Lultron.
In almost every Marvel movie - they save the world, or the universe, in some way. They do it at a great risk, especially personal, even with casualties.
Yet this movie will keep showing "high-profile" people(not some sorry neighbor dumb blonde mom) keep throwing personal level accusations at our heroes. I understand when people complain about MoS being a clusterbuck, and even the Avengers could be questioned, but deliberately making this drama a plot? Like I said, that's worse than BvS. We get a new Hydra, this time being the "World" they are trying to protect... I mean, come on, over a hundred countries signed a petition that affected probably... what, 2-3 of them? Talk about signing the anti-Russian sanctions... Ahem, and this Hydra is totally ballbreaking the Avengers. And, of course, the "leader" - Tony, is compromised(by a woman I'd personally hit in the face and pay to be put in an asylum) at the exact right time. Captain, again, is the fugitive, which should be a running gag by now... And then there are the new guys and... semi-new guys:
-I thought the Amazing Spiderman was the worst spiderman there could be. Because it was wrong at pretty much every turn imaginable. But this... This is a disaster. I won't disrespect the actor, he was fine, and I won't even mention his aunt, Jesus effing... But he gets recruited by Tony and agrees to do his bidding to capture the bloody Captain... on a whim. Plus, there isn't even any real introduction, Spiderman is just bloated into the plot for no apparent reason. So our little protector of the weak is abiding a weapon manufacturer to capture the only man known to fight for the world. And while doing so, he is doing the most annoying impersonation of Spiderman imaginable. Gone is the original Spidey. Gone is even the boneritis-ridden Amazing. This is the new low. Might as well have hired Bieber for the role.
-This "extra black" panther - I think he was the biggest villain in the movie. I mean, even the antagonist wasn't as much of an -hole as he was. His daddy gets whacked, among a dozen others, and our hero, our sorta "Avenger" - promises to "kill" the culprit... Damn... That's a first.
-The antagonist is some sort of genius out of nowhere, and from his outstandingly -tarded exposition - Black Widow released Hydra files "to the public". I know Winter Soldier stated that Shield will be declassified, and that was already a drunken Shyamalan plot twist, but "to the public"? Hey, I think even Snowden would roll his eyes... And that's saying something.
-Vision, the only guy besides Thor to be "worthy", a walking computer with a mind gem in his head - he acts as a second-hand puppet for the most official -hole for the whole movie. Personally, of all the Avengers, I'd expect him to Sherlock the whole deal first, and be the one next to cap. Instead he probably remains in a Jarvis mode for the purpose of 6v6.
-Antman is apparently free to assist the Avengers now, despite all the Pym deal we saw previously. I mean, come on, he lets himself, and his suit - be captured by the new Hydra. Where is Pym in this? For all I know, it was Evangeline Lilly who did the trick in the end of the movie. Otherwise it's such bull that I can't even...
On a final note... remember the finale of Winter Soldier? That killer line from Black Widow? You won't remove us, because you need us, because we do the things you won't? Well, apparently the whole world, 100+ countries - agrees to retire them. And, personally, I'd wanted to see the movie develop like Transformers 3: buck the humans. Buck them all. Let them burn, then come back and save them when the moment is right.
So.. the movie started as bull, developed as bull, and ended as... well, a bit better smelling bull. It's interesting how they will continue this, because as much as the big brothers want to replicate The Incredibles - some things are better left unique.
Superhero rumble: 10\10 Writing: 2\10