Same ol' Stuff

Rating: 6/10 (8 May 2016)

Do you ever go to a concert for a band you loved 30 years before? It's great seeing the whole band back together, singing their songs with loyal, adoring fans. You have a wonderful night of nostalgia and, for a moment, you're transported back in time with the reminder of things you used to love. You overlook the fact that the band is a bunch of old fat guys, that their voices crack, their timing's off, etc ... you just love the fact that your favorite rockers are together with you again. That's the way I felt watching Civil War. While it's fun to spend a few hours with these characters again, the experience brought nothing new, nothing fresh and simply reminded me of the better films that preceded it. I watched it with a packed crowd that barely chuckled (barely made a sound) and who applauded meekly at the end like parents at the end of an elementary school play before filing quietly out of the theater. Few remained for the final stinger. For a 2.5 hour movie, it felt like it lasted longer.
I loved the first Captain America. Its sense of patriotism and nostalgia was infectious. It's my favorite Marvel film. I really enjoyed the second CA, too, although at a point I felt a bit of CGI overload (especially when Widow removed the CG mask). But overall, they are definitely my favorite MCU films. I also enjoyed Ant-Man and the first Iron Man but could have easily skipped Guardians and the Thor films.
When I read the sort of reviews this movie got (along with the reviews of Jungle Book three weeks ago), I can't help but think that Disney has brainwashed the world's critics. After seeing this film, I know it's true. Captain America: Civil War is in the bottom % of the Marvel films, right there with Iron Man 3, Thor 2 and the Hulk movies. The multiple chase and fight scenes are monotonous and, ultimately, pointless. The pacing is tedious and the story is jam-packed with too many characters. A scene in which Stark meets Peter Parker is not only unnecessary, but stops the movie in its tracks for ten full minutes. I don't understand the excitement reviewers have for the character; in my opinion, Spider-Man's role in the film was annoying and desperate. It would have been as if Robin appeared in the final battle in Batman v Superman asking the heroes if they had ever seen some 80s action movie in the middle of the fight ... a movie that the new movie was clearly ripping off. That's what Spidey does here - he provides comic relief for the kiddies.
About halfway through the film I glanced at my watch. I kept glancing at it about every fifteen minutes. The movie seemed to go on ... and on ... and on. But there wasn't a single scene I loved, no musical score to embrace, no development from the first act to the last. The characters were the same at the end as they were in the beginning. And it was definitely Stan Lee's worst cameo in a film, a nyuk-nyuk joke setup that fell flat.
Just so you know this isn't a hate-fest, let me tell you what I liked. 1. Black Panther and Scarlett Witch make memorable contributions to the film. 2. I have never been so glad for Paul Rudd to appear in a movie as I was in this one. His Ant-Man provides a much-needed spark. 3. I was glad to see William Hurt reprise his role as General Ross.
I spoke to a few moviegoers on the way out of the theater. They thought Deadpool was much better (so did I, and I only marginally enjoyed that one). My kids were satisfied enough, although one thought Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman could have easily bested all of the Avengers by herself. They have no desire to see it again. Both enjoyed Batman v Superman better (both saw it three times).
Like any loyal groupie, I will pay money to see my favorite rock band again when they come to town in concert and, likewise, I'll stand in line for that next Marvel movie. But I have a feeling I have heard their best songs before. Their Greatest Hits are in the past.