Alan Gottlieb wants to take our guns away, and Winston Churchill springs a Nazi from jail

Rating: 1/10 (30 August 2017)

Livid. When this movie comes up in a conversation, I sweat. Make like Luke Cage and boil yourself in acid before seeing this... thing. This is not only the worst superhero movie I've seen, but contextually the most infuriating cultural artifact I've ever consumed, including Fantastic '94 and that time my fast food dinner had weevils. It's the Sonic '06 of motion pictures, and the Plan 9 of political discourse.
I'm in the middle of a 3+ part comic series reviewing this movie ( https://porkcow.deviantart.com/art/Ambrosia-1-673666877 ). But in summary, it so far removes the characters from not only what they are in the film series that this movie killed (not financially, but for actual MCU fans), but eradicates every single basic idea that these icons represent. Tony stark, across all movies, is a libertarian who would rather legalize doomsday devices than stoop to the terrors of fascism. Captain America is a soldier who has only once in his career gone over his superior's head to serve his country, and is as afraid of vigilantes and terrorists as the nation he serves. In this "movie" however, they switch brains and lose any trace of personality or ration they had. The "film" also has visuals, music and dialogue that are not only bland and brainless, but further defeat any identity that this vast ensemble of characters have. They're all the same blandly-scored, brightly lit liberal airhead with nothing better to do than go against their own self interest and life-long creed. Not even the children were spared.
Batman vs Superman: a bit too commercial, and Doomsday was Lex Luther's son for some reason. But Batman was Batman, Superman was Superman, and the music, story, and visuals oozed personalty at every turn. Superman II: one of the worst movies in the genre, and the plot was a mess, but at least Superman was Superman and the movie looked and felt like a Superman thing. This: Scriptwriter Christopher Markus needs to understand making several decent movies doesn't exonerate his name from this atrocity. In the words of my favorite Superhero "Though my detest for you as a human being is Brobdingnagian, I can assure you what I'm about to do is nothing personal". Aside from Netflix offerings, I'm quitting Marvel. Apologize, retire, and take McFeely with you. Bon voyage.