Why I didn't love Call Me by Your Name - There will be spoilers...

Rating: 3/10 (20 March 2018)

In 1983, the year this film takes place, I was 22, coming out, and studying art history in university. I knew guys like this - gay men leading straight lives... and that's not them. I also know intellectual banter and pretentious meanderings when I hear it, and that part didn't ring true either. The conversation over the word apricot is borderline silly, but the explanation of Hellenic sensual art is downright unbelievable! The words of a professor to an introductory class on Greek Art 101 are not spoken between a doctoral candidate and his professor -- that's baby talk.
The biggest problem with this film is that there is no chemistry between the actors who play Oliver and Elio. They clearly come across as two straight actors pretending to be gay in a very guy way - complete with rough housing.
Oliver who is supposed to be 30ish? is played by Armand Hammer (who looks a LOT like Halston and should play him in a movie some day if he can learn to play gay because he's not doing it here...) He is a PHD student of an indeterminate age supposedly helping his professor with research during the summer, but is rarely shown doing anything related to work. He has an inability to eat soft boiled eggs, manages to fit a LOT of clothes into one knapsack, can NOT dance like its 1983, and comes across as short tempered and pretentious.
Elio who is 17 and played by Timothee Chalamet is precocious, inexplicably weird about certain aspects of gay sex, can not dance like a gay man, has no problem obtaining record breaking fast orgasms with women and fruit, and does NOT come across as a virgin with men or women in the film. Elio does not hide his feelings - something a gay man who doesn't want his parents to know would have hid MUCH better.
Aside from the creepy factor of 30 and 17, which is justified in a Greek Love kind of way, the movie suffers from a contemporary metoo# sensibility with the Oliver character coming on to Elio, who rebuffs him - Oliver then ignores Elio, while Elio throws himself at him, and culminates with the two of them getting together but only after clear verbal approval is granted by Elio. With follow-up discussion about not wanting any trouble... This was NOT how gay sex went down in 1983... And certainly not under the approving eyes of the 17 year old's parents!