Soem Thoughts

Rating: 7/10 (30 May 2019)

A story about young love; that's how a friend described it to me. I guess that, to a certain extent, it is. Young love. Messy love. Infatuation. Your first love. Conflicting feelings. Feeling certain things for the first time.
A tightly contained love story, with a steep spiral of feelings up and a sudden crash down. Before you know it you're caught up in an emotional rollercoaster resulting in the most intense experience of your life. And before you know it you're left with an empty void in the shape of an Oliver (also goes by the name of Elio).
The first thing I noticed about the film was the aesthetic and the feel. I liked the cinematography. The softness of the image. The setting in rural Italy, where teenagers seem to live somewhat secluded lives. Their world feels very small, adding a very cozy element to the world. The little village seems isolated from the troubles in the rest of the world and the likes of social media. A life of wine, cigarettes and loose blouses in hot summer weather.
As the movie progresses and the story unfolds, I begin to realise there's probably not much of a plot. Everything about this film feels very slice of life. It allows you to take your time watching the scenes, the characters, and to take in the music and sounds very well.
Eventually the love story unfolds. I don't have much to say about it. It's a slice of life. The story arc is not the main focus. You just watch. So I watch the characters.
I don't know what the writer intended for you to think of Elio and Oliver, or what most people think of them. I don't like them.
Elio. It feels to me like he has no regard for Marzia's feelings. Maybe even like he's using her. He's very caught up in his own feelings. He's young, stupid, conflicted and very much in love (the latter which I only truly grasped towards the end of the film).
It's understandable. But still. I can't not think of it while watching the main story unfold. It withholds me from getting immersed in Elio's character and the love story. He is either extremely naive when it comes to what his behaviour might do to Marzia, or is aware of what he's inevitably doing to her, but refuses to acknowledge and process those thoughts.
He's in love. She's in love. You'd guess he'd have the theory of mind ability to place himself in her shoes, especially since he now knows how intense and important love can be. I guess love makes you blind in more ways than one. Stupid Elio.
Marzia is most definitely best girl. She tells Elio that she loves him. It came as kind of a shock to me, but now that I think about it it kind of fits. I feel like she's not in love with Elio in an infatuation kind of way. She actually loves him. Why, I don't know. She probably has her reasons. Anyway, she tells him she's not mad at him. She communicated her feelings and fears. Elio disregards those feelings and turns her fear into reality. He very explicitly hurts her... and she still loves him and truly wants to be his friend. She's too pure for this world.
Note: Not to say that you can necessarily choose the way you love someone or don't. If you fall for someone and become infatuated and obsessed with that person, it's not like it's a choice. I mean with this that Elio isn't necessarily a worse person than Marzia. Although his actions regarding Marzia are hard to look past and ignore. I'm saying Marzia is the more likeable person. (because I judge people based on their actions?)
I felt neutral towards Oliver in the beginning. He's not my type of guy, but I also didn't dislike him. He kept to himself. I warmed up to him when Elio and him got together and he showed his sensitive and understanding side. I'm not sure how I feel about the phone call at the end. I feel like Elio was being very sexual by saying whispering, almost moaning, his name over and over again. Oliver's breathing increased. That's not something your fiancee is gonna like.
I'm not sure what to make of the monologue by Elio's dad at the end. I feel like he captures the essence of the movie. Feeling your feelings. Don't put them away, don't wish you never had them. I'm not sure what he meant by: most people go bankrupt by 30.
Your heart is worn out and people don't look at your body anymore.
He himself has never experienced that. He came close. Does he mean love? Or a love story? An infatuation love story. Like I wanted with her. Maybe.
Had to fill in a lot from own experience.