Mystery of love? More like mystery of why this has 8/10

Rating: 3/10 (19 May 2018)

Why does everybody love this movie? This movie wasted two hours of my life and though I usually waste whole days of my life this has ANGERED ME BEYOND LIMITS.
Firstly, the positives. It looks pretty and I like the last song. Now on to EVERYTHING I HATED.
What the hell was that transition song? We would watch a whole 2 minute clip of them cycling away with no music but as soon as elio was walking from one point to the other they would play the song for like two seconds. It doesn't fit at all! It wouldn't fit in any movie it's so strange.
What confused me most was when Elio was admitting he liked Armies character (don't even remember his name? Oliver?). It came out of nowhere and I didn't even know what was happening. Then they started being romantic and it was like WHAT???? Elio was trying to AVOID armie but then suddenly loves him? And the age difference is whack.
Why didn't this movie come with subtitles? Half the people speak multiple languages and I couldn't even tell if I was listening to French, Italian or German by the end. Obviously I don't want subtitles throughout the whole film, but I had to keep clicking them on and off just to understand the plot. It's not that hard to have them come with the film. It's like mr beans holiday, WHY DOESNT THAT HAVE AUTOMATIC SUBTITLES???
The peach scene... Yes its iconic but what the hell. Elio stars crying for no reason? He acts like he has a childhood history of being abused and that's why he cries when fighting Armie. WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS???
And the ending with the Dad... When he said "I wish I had done that when I was younger" or something similar, Elio replies with "does mum know?" I thought that Dad was coming out as gay, but apparently not.
A movie should only be two hours if it needs two hours and this easily could be a twenty minute short film. The ending made the whole two hours feel useless and OF COURSE the gays get the bad ending once again. "It's true to real life" uh yeah in the 80's? I don't care about their dumb asses I just want a happy ending and a PROPER STORY. This movie is completely useless.