Lotta False Notes But GREAT Scenery

Rating: 6/10 (17 January 2018)

"Movie I think you'd like", my son texted me. "'Call Me By Your Name.' Kind of like an Italian 'Brideshead.' Clueless rich people in gorgeous Northern Italy."
And "Call Me By Your Name" _is_ kind of like "Brideshead." If "Brideshead" had been directed by, say, Eric Rohmer.
I didn't _dislike_ it.
I thought it was pretty Nicholas Spark-y, actually. _Sentimental_. The avante garde-ness derives from the fact that it portrays a gay relationship.
The two leads struck me as having very little chemistry, but then I'm not a gay male myself, so what do I know? In particular, the impossibly Anglo-handsome Armie Hammer - who, I take it, is related to the baking soda - is a really terrible actor.
The Dionysian-curled but weak-chinned Timothee Chalamet is a _better_ actor. We know this because he was in every single movie made last year! (Chalamet also just effectively ended Woody Allen's directing career by making a public announcement yesterday. (Woody Allen hasn't made a good movie for at least a decade, so regardless of how you come down on the Dylan Molestation Issue, this is no great loss.)
Towards the end of "Call Me By Your Name", there's a completely hilarious scene - though it wasn't actually played for laughs - in which Timothee Chalamet's distinguished archeologist father tells Timothee that the relationship he had with the baking soda heir was a - smirk, smirk! - "_special_ friendship", and that he - _Dad_ - had also had a "_special_ friendship," but that alas! it had not been allowed to flower, presumably because of repressive attitudes toward sex in the 1960s.
I'm sorry, but attitudes toward sex were _so_ much _less_ repressive in the 1960s than they were in the 1980s when "Call Me By Your Name" is supposed to take place.
Also, what teenager - gay or straight - really wants to hear old Dad blithering about his sex life?
Teenagers _hate_ any intimation of the fact that their parents may be sexual creatures!
I mean, they may concede that their parents had to do it _once_ in order to conceive _them_, but they're sure their parents did not enjoy it. And they definitely _don't_ want to hear about it.
So, lots and lots of false notes in this movie!
On the other hand, _great_ status detail! Tortelli cremaschi! Apricot trees. When the credits started rolling, I immediately began browsing tours to Lombardy.