Call Me Horrible, Boring & Lame

Rating: 1/10 (19 January 2018)

Oh my effing God. This is, along with "Mudbound," one of the worst movies of the year. THE WORST.
Here's some highlights of the problems:
1) While this film takes place in Italy, Oliver (an American) is committing Statutory Rape by having sex with Elio. Why does no one in any of these reviews have a problem with this?? The kid is 17 years old. He's not an adult, he's not fully mature (obviously). It's like James Ivory (the writer) and Luca Guadagnino (the director) just had to make some soft core porn -- without the nudity. This is self-indulgent filmmaking at its best.
2) Story / Plot: There is NONE. Forget it, don't bother looking. The kid develops a thing for Oliver, they have some sex, Oliver goes back to America, the kid pines. The End. Need a sleep aid? Put this snoozer on. Zzzzzz.
3) Cinematography: Way, way too many shots that just go on forever, with nothing happening. For example, the scene where the kid plays with the peach? As soon as he digs a finger into the core, we know he's going to screw the peach. But we have to watch him mess with the peach and then eat a bit of it, and mess with it some more, for what, 4 minutes? And then he finally masturbates with it. Jesus. That scene could have been 1 - 2 minutes, NOT 5 minutes!
4) Relationship: Sorry, I just didn't buy the relationship between Elio and Oliver. I blame the writing mostly for this. Ivory's script is a piece of sheet. Horribly written, and the directing is horrible too. The actors had no chance of saving this movie. Plus, the director did not direct the kid well. His performance was not strong -- despite the praise some are heaping on him.
5) The parents: Nowhere in this movie was there any indication whatsoever that the father knew what was going on. Out of nowhere, at the very end, the father has "words of wisdom" for his son, and says "What you had with him I've never come close to having." WTF? Seriously? How would he know? And how would he know this was better than the relationship he has had with his own wife? This is like the Deus Ex Machina that comes in at the end to wrap things up & put a ribbon on the story. Pulllleease.
And of course, if the father knew this much older man was having sex with his 17 year old son... why would he condone this? I'll tell you why. Because James Ivory wrote it this way and Luca Guadagnino shot it this way, regardless of reality. They're being self-indulgent and who gives a damn about story logic?
I reiterate: One of the worst movies of the year. Don't waste your time.