Call It By Its Name: 'Dead Boring'

Rating: 3/10 (4 December 2017)

This is the kind of film that you see in 'Coming Attractions' and you think that though it sounds interesting enough to see, it will never live up to its hype. And still you go see it. And yet, even though you knew the buzz for the film was overblown, you are even more disappointed upon leaving the theater than you were prepared to be. This is sub-mediocre cinema for the pretentious mass of moviegoers.
For one thing, it was way too long, at least a half hour more than necessary. Too many wasted, extended shots that did nothing to advance the paper-thin narrative of Vulnerable Younger Man Elio falls for Manipulative Young Man Oliver, involving themselves in a six-week summer fling with full parental approval. Oliver has his peach and eats it too, then moves back to the United States to proceed with his pre-planned heterosexual lifestyle. Elio is then left to pine and yearn and mourn with a beautiful sad-face through the closing credits. Two hours and ten minutes for this? No thank you, sirs.
About the performances: Armie Hammer is a truly beautiful physical specimen of a man, but in this film that is the full extent of his acting ability. Preening, with an exaggerated sense of dismissive cool, his portrayal of Oliver left the sense of an actor trying too hard to pretend that he was comfortable in the role. This sense is re-inforced in the promotional interviews for the film, where he seems to be working just a bit too hard to show how cool he was with kissing and simulating sex with another beautiful young(er) man. The utter sterility of the sex scenes or the lack of explicit nudity, however, as dictated by Hammer's contract, belie his overcompensating demeanor. Understandable, perhaps, but this kills the credibility of any emotional chemistry beyond the two men on- screen.
Timothée Chalamet, on the other hand, is remarkable in the way he inhabits his role, with a kittenish physicality, all lean, wiry lines and lithe angles, that more than holds its own in the scenes with Hammer. Despite the unbelievability of any emotional connection between the two characters, Chalamet's Elio gives a palpable sense of physical attraction to the older Oliver, a man-crush that gives way to physical yearning. The depth of Chalamet's performance was what carried the film, and was by far the most interesting, successful aspect of the production.
The novel could actually be interesting, but as brought to screen it was diffuse, dissolute, and disparate; like a collage attempting to depict a mosaic of a mural. This film will get praise for dealing with a sensitive subject, and I suppose that is fair enough; I only wish it had been more interestingly and convincingly executed.