Some clarity (perhaps) from a gay guy who grew up in the 80s...

Rating: 9/10 (1 March 2018)

I've just seen this for the 2nd time after a festival screening last year where everybody loved it. In this screening and in the reviews here, there's a lot of division, so maybe I can add a few things to help some younger, straighter people out there to know what to expect.
It's a novel adaptation from someone who grew up at the same time I did, and I can confirm that this kind of story is what we fantasized about back in 1983 - from the younger guys´ perspective. This is very much a gay fantasy, but unlike "Moonlight", it isn't bent to straight expectations - if you ask gay friends what they thought about "Moonlight", they'll very likely tell you it's utterly unrealistic, if you ask them about this, they'll very likely tell you that they wish it was true.
A gay teenager in the 80s usually wasn't fantasizing about other teenage boys, because we considered them too immature, and because it was still quite dangerous to test the waters at school. The consequences could range from assault to social death. So we often had this ideal of a sophisticated 25-30ish guy like Oliver as a first romance, especially since "Greek Love", which the film alludes to with the statues, was pretty much the only positive identifier for homosexuality available at the time. There was no internet, there were no films, porn and bars were yet out of reach. So the people here who think this has a pedo touch to it are totally off, it's the other way around. But I give it 9 instead of 10 because the age difference in the book is narrower.
For younger people, the pace must be painfully slow - that's definitely the most courageous aspect of the film, it replicates the narrative structure of the book and allows its story to breathe and slowly grow on you. Many get that, there's no need to point this out expressly, but this is a very realistic approach to first love, for a long time nothing happens and then - boom. This is the reason why I cherish this film, it can make straight viewers understand that we're really not different in our feelings and choices, and that love is love, as Stuhlbarg says in his monologue - which could come across really awkward from a lesser actor.
It's also realistic that Elio experiments with the other sex, most of us did, and as with the girl in the film that usually ended up OK, there were no hard feelings. In that respect, the 80s were probably a better time, interchanges among the sexes were really less forward, more playful, people judged you less harshly for what you were and looked like, the film brings that across really well. It strikes a perfect balance between capturing what the 80s were like for teens, a period of aimless waiting just like the summer, and a nostalgic fantasy of bygone days and a romance that never was.
But it's not for everyone. Stay clear of this if your favorite film is "Justice League". No judgment, it's just not for you, wait a few years. And it's sometimes too subtle for its own good: many people will wonder why Elio is OK with Oliver's decision in the end, and why their story is so definitely over. Well, think about what the Star of David means, and of that scene with the grandma giving the guys water, and then they notice a portrait of the Duce... I only noticed that on my 2nd viewing, so I recommend watching it more than once to catch on to these drifts.