10 Gaping Plot Holes and Farcically Sociopathic Character Doom Film

Rating: 6/10 (2 May 2013)

Let us count the plot holes in the film. I haven't seen plot holes this big since the premise of the film Double Jeopardy: 1. no one calls the local police Osborne Cox in real life would have availed himself of the rather quick and easy way to put an end to that sociopathic Linda's stalking. There were witnesses to her hit-and-run on his diesel Benz. He also could have phoned in the extortion attempt and what he believed to be a break-in.
2. CIA would never pay Linda off in end There was nothing for the CIA to cover up. The CIA director admitted not knowing what the CIA did wrong, so why would he pay this woman for her silence?
3. Linda would be tried for treason and either imprisoned for life or executed for attempting to sell classified government material to a foreign power.
4. Osborne Cox could have fought Katie's maneuver to take control of joint bank accounts. In fact, banks require two signatures on both accounts before they could be completely emptied and closed. Oops!
5. BeWithMeDC.com is absurd. No dating web sites are set up to allow women to surf male photos without males being granted the same opportunity.
6. How did Harry Pfarer clean up the mess in Katie's bedroom without her knowing someone was shot in her closet?
7. While there are men stupid enough to bring a concealed weapon to a first date, I don't know of many women who would let a gun-toting stranger into their home.
8. Do the Coens expect us to believe people as stupid as Linda and Chad really exist? These are not "morons," but morons. Linda is astounded her HMO will not pay for not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 cosmetic surgical procedures. She is also astounded her employer will not advance her salary. She also is under the impression Cox is obligated by some Good Samaritan Tax to offer her thousands of dollars in reward money for finding his disc. When he doesn't agree, she gets violent with him.
9. The disc itself is worthless. It's the info on the disc that WOULD be worth anything.
Why do Linda and Chad assume that even if the info were valuable that Cox would pay for the disc. It's not the disc that's valuable, it's the information on it. And he has it on his PC.
10. Also, the Coens arrange for all their serial daters to meet at benches around the Mall as if there are no other restaurants or trendy metro neighborhoods in DC/MD/DC for people to meet.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Some of the critics who reviewed the film praised the Coens attention to detail and realism. I agree I enjoyed the scenes where Cox was terminated and where Katie conspired with her attorney, but no one in their right mind could ignore the gaping plot holes above.
WHERE THE FILM GOES OFF THE RAILS
Whether you like parody or farce determines how you felt about a pivotal turn 10 minutes into the film. I was looking for a parody, a satirical imitation of a special brand of psychopathology-of-everyday-life that runs through Washington's culture of materialism and self-importance, where puffed up jobs in dulling Federal bureaucracies lead to chronic dissatisfaction, spiritual emptiness, and a polyamorous form of infidelity facilitated by Internet dating.
This parody begins promising enough when the film appears to set up a cat-and-mouse game between ousted CIA analyst Oswald Cox (John Malkovich) and Treasury officer Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney), whose promotion from the "young man's game" of personal protection into a desk job with the U.S. Marshals forces him to carry a concealed weapon out of vanity. How Malkovich loses his job and his wife makes for great comedy, and the Coens do not need to sacrifice realism -- or intelligence -- to deliver the laughs here. The build-up of tension during this taut and intriguing 10 minutes is some of the best filmmaking I've seen in years ...
... and then it all falls apart when we're introduced to one of the dumbest and most deplorable characters in film: Linda Litzski (Frances McDormand). This is the point at which the Coens give in to pop culture silliness and BURN AFTER READING devolves from Woody Allen dysfunctional into farcically dumb / destructive Tarantino (e.g., Pulp Fiction).
Woody Allen (e.g., HUSBANDS & WIVES) proves you can write female characters who are cerebral and mature yet whose existential angst and lack of insight translates into self-sabotage as well as unforeseen/invisible consequences to the world around them. Why the Coens feel they need to have their plot flow through a character (Linda) who reasons morally and intellectually at a 2nd grade level is beyond me. Just like a chain can only be as strong as its weakest link, so BURN AFTER READING is doomed to juvenile absurdity once Linda pops on the scene.
And Linda is a comedy-killer. You want to walk on screen and take a led pipe to Linda's head. That kind of tension is not good for comedy, especially one that ends well for her character.
To add insult to injury, I believe the Coens intend for us to find Frances McDormland's Linda adorable (much like we do McDormland's character in FARGO). "Have you ever heard of the power of positive thinking," delivered in McDormland's signature schmaltz (along with "little chitland's feet -- chicki chicki chicki"), is supposed to warm the cockles of our heart. Yikes.
George Clooney's Harry Pfarrer strains credibility when he reacts to every minor provocation with an absurd vocal intonation and facial contortion and in a way this breaks a tie between elements of parody and farce and drags the film into the realm of the absurd.