Empty, Worhless, Drivel

Rating: 1/10 (12 September 2008)

The biggest problem with the movie industry is that by the time you know something is utter unforgivable crap the studio already has your money.
Watching this cinematic suckfest was akin to watching a drunk man stumble to his car. Slow, awkward, and falling flat with every third step. Occasionally he picks up enough momentum that you think you might get to see a spectacular tumble only for him to reel back a step and belch loudly.
The characters are one-dimensional. This is good, however, since no one in the movie is trying. The actors didn't do this film to say anything or prove their skill. The feeling is this was to earn spending money to buy another Lexus.
The jokes are not funny. The characters are not likable. The plot is contrived and empty. Maybe I'm missing something since I'm not a 40-something adulterating moron with the IQ of Forrest Gump. In the end, however, I'm not sure what disappointed me more... how unfathomably bad the movie was or how everyone else in the theater seemed somehow to enjoy it.