Burn Before Watching

Rating: 3/10 (14 September 2008)

I don't really think this movie deserves quite a "three" but it's at, like, 8.7 currently and I really think even a general score of 6 would be too generous... I'm just trying to bring it to where it SHOULD be. 4 star zone. Go compensation!
THE MOVIE: Wow, what a piece of crap. DO NOT compare this to "The Big Lebowski". THAT movie was classic and almost cult worthy. Compare this movie to "Intolerable Cruelty" ... a nice, fat piece of crap.
BRAD PITT: SUCH a talented guy using his skills to portray a character of no interest whatsoever. Maybe the gay community will chuckle... a little. But for the rest of us who remember Fight Club as well as his fantastic performance in Snatch ... we will all be very saddened by this.
summery of Pitt: Is he dead to us now? Has he now gone the way of the mighty Tom Cruise? From this movie I would say he has.
George Clooney: You think to yourself, "Is there a better movie than Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" or Oceans 11 and that in itself make you fork out money for this dog dropping of a movie. And we feel so betrayed. Oh, George, you're smarter than this.
George's character is also shallow and silly. The Olympic committee gives Georges character a 2.3 difficulty for performance. George, like Brad, did a great job... but that's like saying you or I got 100% on a 3rd grade math test.
Summery of Clooney: Read the scripts, Georgey, BEFORE you agree to do 'em. You keep swinging at these poot-pies just 'cause the name "Cohen" is on the cover and you'll soon be joining your best friend Brad in his post-career-marijuana-comma.
Malchovic. Now there's a guy I never liked. Like in Being John Malchovic. One of the worst movies of all time.
Yet he was the BEST thing about this movie. It was like watching Michael Jordon playing basketball with the Wissoogal (sp?), AK girls basketball team. A genius surrounded by the inept.
Unfortunately this script killed any late-in-life heroics Johnny boy could have possible mustered up.
There were others lesser names in this film and suffice it to say they all did a fine job. Just as fine a job as your garbage man does twice a week when he takes to the dump the curb-side trash. Great job, garbage man... don't expect a pat on the back or any awards. IOW, my garbage men are great guys, but they'll never set themselves apart by emptying rubbish. Actors: Good. Script: Trash.
I can't believe I spent money on that thing. I have buyer's remorse. This movie is NOT good enough to hit up on a $1 Red Box Video but IS good enough to watch if you download it as a torrent. IOW, if it's free and you can be totally comfortable watching it and not required to pay too close attention (let's see, free, comfy and multiprocessing... perfect) then yeah, why the heck not.
BOTTOM LINE: Save your money. You won't want you time/life remitted so much as you'll want your recession-busted greenback ... green back back ... greenback returned ... oh, heck, you'll want your $8.50 so don't forget to keep the receipt!