Memo to the Coen Brothers

Rating: 1/10 (9 March 2009)

I am only moved to post a comment here at IMDb when a movie or TV show I've watched is unusually good or unusually bad. This attempt at comedy falls squarely into the latter category. However, I want to be fair, so this critique is actually a memo to the Coen brothers, to be taken as they like, as advise before considering their next comedy:
1. Every movie needs AT LEAST one likable/sympathetic character. This movie has none. 2. The word "fuck" is only funny to males 15 years of age and under. They're not allowed to see this movie. 3. Prop comedy should NOT include a large rubber dildo. Again, it's only funny to males 15 years of age and under, and again, they're not allowed to see this movie. 4. Don't do this to Brad Pitt. He's barely credible as an actor as it is, and he has a lot of mouths to feed. 5. Having people die in a movie billed as a comedy is not funny, especially if it's with a hatchet. 6. Don't do this to George Clooney. Would he have sex with a woman who looks and acts as frumpy as Frances McDormand's character in real life? 7. Every movie should have a beginning, middle, and 'satisfying' ending, but this one appeared to be a series of unrelated scenes edited together. Even worse, it essentially could've been edited in a different sequence and it would've made about as much sense. 8. Don't do this to the U.S. Government. They are having enough P.R. problems as it is, and this didn't help. 9. Divorce is NEVER funny. Didn't you guys see "The War of the Roses"? 10. Offer a full refund to anyone who went to or rented your movies who found them less than satisfying. (NOTE: could get expensive!)
Of course, if the Coen Brothers ever did condescend to read this review, I'm sure they would only laugh from atop their considerable pile of money, so I appreciate IMDb's forum to allow me to blow off steam after having spent $5 on this stinker of epic proportions.