Ooh, Look! Ali's Doing The Wagon-Wheel Watusi!

Rating: 4/10 (14 August 2014)

According to the dictionary, the word "burlesque" is defined as being a variety show characterized by low-comedy and striptease.
Well, (unless there are 2 versions of this movie out there) this version of Burlesque (with its PG-13 rating) contained neither one of these forms of entertainment. (It might have helped if it did)
I guess that the reason behind this film's erroneous and (deliberately) misleading title has something to do with the fact that a word like "burlesque" has a very provocative and enticing sound to it.
From my point of view, I found Burlesque to be, pretty much, an up-dated, carbon-copy of Flashdance and something of a Cabaret-clone, as well, with the distinctive echoes of Dirty Dancing thrown in for good measure.
Burlesque's backstage, backstabbing story was so continually marred by clichés, predictability, dumb dialogue and trite personal dramas that this, in turn, quickly reduced its elaborately staged musical numbers to being nothing more than half-ass fizzle rather than full-throttle sizzle.
And speaking about Burlesque's mega-extravagant musical numbers, (when you clearly see the exterior of the building where they were being staged) you'll be quick to realize that there was absolutely no way on Earth that a dinky, little venue like that could ever possibly house these fantastic, "Vegas"-calibre productions. No way, Jose!
Anyways - Besides the fact that the 64-year-old Cher was never filmed in natural daylight (Gee. I wonder why??), Burlesque really killed me with its pretentious and snooty "I'm-so-classy" attitude.
This picture tried and tired (so earnestly) to firmly establish itself as a real class act. But, hey, once the glitzy trinkets and shiny tinsel got stripped away it was nothing but cheap and petty story-telling right to its very core.