one of the most entertaining bad movies of the year

Rating: 5/10 (12 December 2010)

Don't make any mistake that the vote is five out of ten on the scale. This is in fact not a very good movie. That is, when you stop to think about it. The screenplay by Steve Antin was very likely cooked up after a Cliff-Notes stop to Syd Field's book-of-wonders, and not the updated version but the one that gives you Screen writing-for-Real-Dummies (his only previous credit as writer/director is a direct-to-video sequel to The Glass House, a movie me and two other people on the planet saw in the first place). And maybe that's okay. In these tough times of depressing economic circumstances, maybe people need a little PG-13 escapism. Yes, escape from your dreary existence to see (almost) family-friendly risqué dancing from Christina Aguilera and Cher (or, holy-god-that's-Cher?)
Ah, the story. The meat and potatoes of it is Aguilera's a small town girl, comes to LA, goes to the magically-out-of-ether apparent Burlesque club loaded with catty girl dancers and a few gay ones (Alan Cumming plays a Joel Grey out of Cabaret surrogate), and run by Cher, Stanley Tucci and sometimes-around Peter Gallagher. The club might close if more money doesn't come around! What to do? How about someone who can dance *and* sing. Gasp! In comes the incessant Aguilera, who in- between going all-out in her quest for acceptance roommates with a clueless guy who is engaged to a girl on the other side of the country, and shady real estate guy. One knows he's shady as Aguilera's character points out to him "You're not the bad guy, you're the wrong one." Touche, I guess.
Don't come for the story, or much of the dialog, which has lines like "Alice, hm? Well, welcome to Wonderland." Actually, that's a white-lie. Do come for that, but not because it's particularly intelligent or wonderful. It's a lot of camp, the movie is. It is Showgirls-lite, which means it's neither anywhere near as mind-bogglingly awful, though not half as ambitious in its intentions. As I said, the movie is kind of "safe", in a sense. It could raise the ire of some hardcore Bible- thumpers, but that's about it. The sexual content is only on occasion actually sexually charged, and is otherwise playful (at one point Ali does a number where she's covered through most of it, but only by a sheet really, naked except for that and singing a sorta sultry song), like the music video from Moulin Rouge that Aguilera and her contemporaries made, Lady Marmlelade.
Again, should I sell you on this movie? That depends. If you think there's something better to see, please, do so, by all means. It's like eating one of those pink-sugar things that's not even a twinkie but the counterpart that Woody Harrelson kept finding unfortunately in Zombieland. Cher, especially, as the co-star (though name above Aguilera), is prominently featured as one of the 'serious' actors of the film, though she too has lines that... well, I don't want to spoil, pshaw! As for her musical numbers, which is one of the more precise reasons that one could be curious to see the film, one is generic and one has no right being in a movie called burlesque as it's not burlesque nor good songwriting ("You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" is the number, which has absolutely nothing to do with the film itself, only for Cher to have one other number than her Welcoming song that comes conveniently as Ali enters the club).
Other numbers fare better, at least as far as being energetic, flashy, and showing off Aguilera's actual talent which, believe you me, is not acting. Luckily she's found a platform for her singing and dancing that works for her (unlike a certain Britney Spears from 2002's Crossroads, let's never mention it again). Her fans especially will be pleased to see her stretching her vocal chords and strutting her natural sexuality and appealing features for the camera. In a way these numbers do set off how much of the rest of the movie is either forgettable hooey or ridiculous trash. But hey, it's trash that doesn't kid itself; as far as bad movies go that are still out in theaters- or may be coming to DVD in a few months- it fares MUCH better than something like Skyline.