A Maudlin Film That Brings Out the Worst in Everyone

Rating: 3/10 (10 January 2011)

First off, I LOVE movie musicals. They may be my favorite kind of movie, so naturally, I was dying to see Burlesque from the moment I saw the first ad back in September. When I finally saw it, it was beyond disappointing. I figured, "Well, if the movie sucks, at least there'll be some fun, Moulin Rouge costumes." Wrong again! The costumes were largely uncreative- too much like a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
But on to the worst part- the acting. This film drags everyone down.Christina Aguilera is horrid in the main role. I've always been a fan of hers and was excited to see her act. She can't. At all. Her character's overly dramatic back-story would be hard to play well even for a talented veteran, but Aguilera makes it seem like a bad made for TV movie. She's a fabulous singer, but she ain't no actress. Despite being "a real actress," Kristen Bell failed utterly as bad girl Nikki. She's gorgeous and plays "the bitch" well, but when she was supposed to be drunk, the only tip-off was that Cher wouldn't let her drive. Cher is one of the few in this film who did a quality performance, when the terrible writing didn't drag her down. Cam Gigandet was also commendable, but again, the lines his character was given were cringe-worthy. Example: while on the phone with his fiancé, Gigandet looks at Auilera's character across the room and says "My future? I'm looking at it." I vomited Sour Patch Kids into my drink. Even Stanley Tucci flubbed this film, although his performance in the second half is better.
On a positive note, Alan Cumming's character was a cute nod to Cabaret.