A Well Preserved Cher Keeps This Predictable Pile of Showbiz Clichés Afloat

Rating: 5/10 (7 March 2011)

Despite an eye-catching veneer that appears like a stylistic cross between Bob Fosse ("Cabaret") and Rob Marshall ("Chicago"), this 2010 backstage musical written and directed by former actor Steve Antin is pure Hollywood hokum repackaged for the "American Idol" generation. Rather than being remotely provocative in subject or treatment, the film is actually a slapdash, new-millennium update of "42nd Street" in which the classic 1933 movie's most famous line, "You're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!", applies perfectly here. The youngster in this case is pop star Christina Aguilera in her feature film debut as Ali Rose, a plucky Iowa waitress described scabrously by an alcohol-fueled rival named Nikki as a "slut with mutant lungs". Your reaction to that comment will depend on how much you like Aguilera's throaty, blues-inspired holler of a singing voice. You would have to enjoy it a lot to sit through the several production numbers she performs in the movie.
The story is trite. Ali leaves Iowa for LA on a bus and faces exactly one day of unemployment during our current economic malaise when she discovers the Burlesque Lounge on the Sunset Strip. Talking her way into a waitress job thanks to sympathetic bartender Jack, she desperately tries to persuade the club's owner Tess that she belongs on the stage with all the leggy, lip-synching dancers. A dancer's unplanned pregnancy gives Ali the chance to audition and take her place, and then conveniently, Tess picks Ali to substitute for a drunken Nikki to take the lead one night. Out of spite, Nikki cuts off the recorded music at which point Ali sings in her own voice. In perhaps the most patronizing scene, the awestruck reactions of customers and colleagues insure her immediate stardom and Nikki's vengeful wrath. As Ali's star ascends, she is also caught in a romantic triangle between Jack and a wealthy opportunist named Marcus.
Meanwhile, Tess faces the prospect of losing her club despite the good fortune brought forth by Ali's emerging fame. If you can't figure out the rest of the by-the-numbers plot, clearly you don't get out much. Even though the film is a showcase for Aguilera, it is really Cher who anchors it with her dry insouciance and sheer professionalism. At 64, she looks great in a highly cosmeticized way, but it's really her natural likability and her two standout numbers that linger in the memory. The first is a teasing nod to "Cabaret" called "Welcome to Burlesque" and the second is a Diane Warren-penned power ballad, "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me", which she sings with the same emotional fervor Jennifer Hudson did with her big "Dreamgirls" number, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going". Aguilera acquits herself well as Ali. It's just that the role is such a predictable set of clichés when she's offstage.
As Tess' loyal confidante, Stanley Tucci plays almost exactly the same role he played in "The Devil Wears Prada" and in the same wry manner that works just as well here. Cam Gigandet as Jack and Eric Dane as Marcus aren't given much opportunity to make memorable impressions. Kristen Bell has a few choice moments showing her talons as Nikki. Shallow entertainment for those in the mood for it. Extras are plentiful but not indispensable on the 2011 DVD/Blu-Ray. There is a talky but none too insightful commentary track from Antin, an alternate opening sequence that extends the Iowa setting, a five-minute blooper reel, and footage of six uncut musical numbers. The Blue-Ray additionally offers a five-part making-of featurette for true fans of the film.