Boo for Burlesque!

Rating: 4/10 (6 February 2012)

The musical "Borelesque" I mean "Burlesque" was grotesque with its formulaic tune. "Burlesque" stars Cher as Tess, an L.A. burlesque-club owner who must come with a big show of cash in order to save her struggling club. However, the movie is really the showcase of Christina Aguilera who also stars as Ali, an aspiring singer-dancer who heads to L.A. from Iowa to make it big, what an innovative concept for a movie! Sorry, I used to work at Sarcasmesque. Anyways, Ali slips into Tess' club, and well you could figure out the rest. female protagonist stars with lousy job, her co-workers think she is a nobody, she meets a male friend, she gets a chance to show her talent, she makes it big, she falls for male friend, she has a jealous rival out to ruin her, she has conflict with lover, she has a conflict with her superior, problems eventually get solved and the rest is. well, you get the picture. Or maybe you should not get this picture. Writer-Director Steve Antin's directorial and screenplay "Burlesque" antics were making me hope that the show must not go on. I was not moonstruck with Cher's over-the-top performance as Tess; if I can turn back time, I would have fast forwarded all her scenes. Aguilera was not too shabby in her debut acting performance as Ali, but I was more impressed with the voice than the act. Stanley Tucci's performance as the club's gay fashion designer in "Burlesque" was dressed with the same characterization as his duplicate character in "The Devil Wears Prada". What's next "Tucci Wears Gucci"; sorry Stan, I know you are a hell of an actor. Eric Dane seemed bored in his portrayal of Marcus, the wealthy magnate who is trying to buy Tess' club. Kristen Bell's work as the villainous dancer Nikki also danced itself with too many over-the-top moves. Cam Gigandet's performance as Ali's love interest Jack (who is also one of the club's bartenders) was a bit charismatic but not gigantic enough. The music of "Burlesque" was at zero level in my goose-bump meter. So I guess it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that "Burlesque" to me was a near complete mess. ** Needs Improvement