Thank you for your harmonica

Rating: 10/10 (9 August 2013)

I saw this film the first time when I was still in primary school. One of my parents (I don't know which) bought a bootleg DVD and kept it on the DVD player. One night they went out for a walk and I went through the DVDs and found this movie. At the time I was so afraid that my parents would come back at any second so I jumped through the film and saw the scene which Ennis and Jack first had sex. And now I am 18 years old. And this is the first time I see the whole thing. I don't want to say something critical about the film, because I want to leave it as it is in my mind. When I was a child I paid all my attention to that sex scene. (I haven't seen any thing about sex of two men ever at that time. It was a few years later that I saw a gay sex picture for the first time on a porn website.) But this time the film to me is all about the story, the relationship. I don't often get emotional because every time I cried as a child my father would yell at me like a mad person. As a result I don't have the ability to cry watching touching TV plays or movies. In the scene which the two people turned old and no one felt happy enough and blamed it on this relationship, I felt so much that I almost cried. (The two times I actually cried were Clapham Junction, when the young man in white enticed the fat person for his violence desire. And In The Flesh, when the history is revealed in the last episode in that cave.) What I can say about this film is the scenery is beautiful. And the story, how can I describe my feeling about this story... It make me believe that everything really happened. It's like if I go there I can see their old fireplace left in the mountains near the stream. I don't feel so sad that Jack died. I only feel so happy for them because they had what they had. Last year something happened to me that made me understand all the homophobic elements in movies and on TV screen. (I want to add here that my father said his was disgusted watching this movie, and he watched this movie.)I think as I experience more as I grow older I would understand more about this movie, about the death of Jack and the ending which everyone else seems to feel so strongly about. I watched the other film that Ang Lee made, The Wedding Banquet. The story had the same fierceness. But this time around the acting is better and the story seems more pure. Every time I see something about Heath Ledger I feel sad. And I always feel like I am not important enough to say something about it. I feel self-consciously uncomfortable every time I say that I like Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. One day I saw a video, the Oprah Show about Brokeback Mountain. And the two of them sat there. And I shouldn't say this but they seemed great sitting together. And that is just something wrong in my own private mind. Hope everything turns out fine and I will see this film again some years later.