Haunting, Unforgettable

Rating: 10/10 (26 January 2006)

All has been said, I won't repeat the superlatives, this is a great and noble film. I wish only to speak of its effect on me. Many others have mentioned it: unable to sleep, a scene that jumps into your head at the most inopportune time triggering tears, that feeling you've been somehow ennobled by grief.
I saw it in New York on December 19. I did not cry, I was too afraid of missing something. leaving the theatre, the night was very cold and windy and dealing with the cold took all my concentration. I spoke glowingly of it to friends, urging them to see it. So far, pretty normal. After all, it's just a film.
Almost two weeks later, I was drawn to the BBM website and to the comments on the film. One writer mentioned a scene, I forget which one, and I started to cry... not just tears but great wheezing sobs... I cried myself to sleep for Ennis and Jack. The next day I went back to see it again and was again spellbound... Since then I've indulged a quiet obsession with the film. I read every scrap written about it, and every comment posted anywhere from those who have seen it. I feel a bit like the Richard Dreyfuss character in "Close Encounters," not knowing how or why but only that I care so deeply.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me in my life -- and I'm 60 years old. I look for an explanation -- I am a gay man... could that be it? Old and lonely and subject to cheap emotional tricks? I know better... there are no tricks in that hard and unsentimental screenplay. Just a story. I've seen thousands... none has ever grabbed me like this. I half wonder if there aren't some demonic subliminal images inserted every 10 frames to rob me of my will. I'm grasping now....
I never had an Ennis -- or a Jack... but now I do. I have no clever answer for this phenomenon... but I'm grateful for it. I don't know why.