people who make themselves miserable

Rating: 8/10 (8 January 2006)

Acting: great photography: great sex scenes: great believability of story: pretty good overall: very sad
However, why was this movie so sad? Was it so sad because these men couldn't cohabit publicly in a committed relationship? I don't think so. If they had been able to have the ranch that Jack dreamed of, it wouldn't have been all cuddling and swimming naked in mountain streams. They would have had to work hard and would have started bickering over personal habits, chores, and bills, just like the all the rest of us do with significantly others; and eventually they probably would have broken up, just like all the rest of us do.
What was sad was that they couldn't feel happy and grateful over having the cool relationship that they did have. I walked out going, "Gee, I don't think I've ever had any relationship that was as passionate, intense, and meaningful-seeming as theirs." That's probably because I live in the real world, not in a movie. And real guys get passionate for a while, but then they get bored and distracted by something else. You only get passion like that in forbidden affairs.
All of these people, whether gay or straight, who are drowning in self-pity because somehow their relationship doesn't measure up to what they see in the movies, need to realize that movie relationships are no more real than Harry Potter is. Gay people need to realize that an awful lot of, if not most, straight people feel disappointed in their relationships and fantasize about better people or more intriguing sex acts. And those straight people also go out and have affairs and consort with prostitutes as well. This is not reserved for gay people.
Also, most real gay couples don't look like these two actors, either. When I was done watching the movie, I stood up and looked around and saw a real life gay couple. They were both pudgy and bald, with matching shirts.
So, instead of feeling grateful that he and Ennis have these great, passionate vacations together, Jack Twist tortures himself the rest of the year, because he imagines that it would be possible for him to be on vacation like that all the time. A lot of people do that.
Make gratitude lists. Count your blessings. Avoid wallowing in self-pity. Live clean. Eat healthily. Get plenty of sleep and exercise. Work hard. Pray and/or meditate a lot. Then you will be happy. Having the relationship you are dreaming of is not a long term solution for finding happiness.