Mountainous Failure Breaks Back

Rating: 2/10 (23 December 2006)

Brokeback Mountain ("BM")'s initials pretty much sum this movie: it fails as a comedy, it fails as a tragedy, it fails as a manifesto. In fact, I can't remember any other movie having so thoroughly disappointed me.
To wit, the only people to whom I can imagine BM appealing are those wanting to see nudity from Anne and Michelle, each of whom flashes her breasts at the camera for maybe 1-2 seconds: for the hardcore perv, it's definitely worth a rental, because the women in the movie are stunningly attractive. Similarly, some people "get off" on seeing women smoke; it's a turn-off for me, and it ruined the fantasy I had for Anne.
The movie in a nutshell: Having hitched a ride with a trucker, Ennis walks to the parking lot in which arrives by an old pickup Jack. Jack long ogles Ennis in (Jack's) driver's side mirror. Joe hires the 2 strangers when they don't balk at the queer terms of employment.
Ennis first mans the base camp; after a few days, he swaps with Jack. With the aid of free-flowing liquor, Jack wears down the conversationally-reluctant Ennis, and we learn the back stories for these men ("dad hated me"). Ennis stays too long at the base camp one evening, and tries to sleep outside. The weather turns foul (cold, windy), and minutes later, Ennis is buggering Jack in the main tent.
While that progression might work fine in porn, it destroys the film's credibility: snuggling afterwards, Ennis declares to Jack, "I ain't queer;" Jack responds, "Me neither." This apparently happens within the first 14 days after Ennis and Jack first meet. The sexual liaisons cease for a few days, but the men find sex with each other an irresistible and ever-present temptation.
Although such risky behavior is contrary to the respective natures of Ennis & Jack, they regularly frolic in outdoor homobliss; disapproving Joe discretely watches, then uses a storm threat as excuse to end the grazing season on BM a month early. Although Joe didn't fire Ennis & Jack, he doesn't re-hire them.
Ennis marries Alma and they have 3 daughters before Jack postcards Ennis, who replies to Jack's question with "You Bet." Meanwhile, Jack met affluent Lureen, married and had a child. Ennis stays home all day desperately anxious to meet Jack; Alma sees the men passionately kiss and is disturbed. Ennis & Jack apparently go directly to a motel, where they "lie with each other" overnight.
When Ennis returns to Alma, he announces an impromptu 3-day, "Ennis & Jack only" fishing trip; Ennis & Jack go to a place that looks identical to where they'd earlier played on BM. Given the obvious hazards that presented, it's yet another implausible happenstance.
Years pass; as often as they are both able, Ennis & Jack continue their stud/f-buddy relationship. Ennis has no passion for Alma, but has obviously much for Jack. Alma tries with a note to remind Ennis to return with some of the fish to his family (he says he caught a lot, but ate them); when it seems obvious Ennis never opened his tackle box, she breaks down and Alma & Ennis divorce.
Having discovered his own arena of business competence (sales, perhaps management), Jack is now a man of means. Jack has made the connection between risk and success. Unfortunately for him, Jack has neither the acumen of old money, the sophistication to appreciate the perils awaiting him, nor the wisdom to abandon foolish pursuits (Ennis).
During the intervening years, Jack -- unabashedly in love with Ennis -- reveals to Ennis a plan to allow Ennis & Jack to live together apart from the hassles of heterosexual life: basically, it is a ranching scheme capitalizing on Jack's family property. Jake seeks the warm weather (and perhaps the remoteness) of Mexico, and urges Ennis to "get on-board" -- but Ennis refuses to abandon the familiar, frigid north.
Ennis pusillanimously blames his aversion to risk on age, on the notion he can't quit a job in order to go to work in a startup business, on the idea he has child support payments to make, etc. At the climax of their lover's spat, Ennis blames Jack for (Ennis's) confusion regarding (Ennis's) own sexual orientation.
Ennis's postcard to Jack is returned with "DECEASED" stamped on it. Ennis learns from Lureen that Jack drowned in his own blood as the result of a tire-changing accident (Lureen's audio account is dubbed over video of "morals posse" apparently bludgeoning Jack to death). Lureen is apathetic, suggesting she may have been involved.
Some reviewers mention the book indicates Lureen's account was faithful, and that the video merely revealed Ennis's imaginary interpretation of Lureen's words (based on Ennis's earlier account of the torture-killing of a homosexual male, the aftermath of which Ennis as a child was forced by Ennis's father to view).
Regarding the details of Jack's demise, which account the film intended to portray as accurate was not readily apparent. If the video was merely Ennis's imagination, then so might have been the apparent apathy in Lureen's voice.
Overwrought Ennis visits Jack's parents' home, where he learns Jack was apparently always homosexual. Ennis retrieves a shirt presumably stolen from Ennis by Jack as a keepsake commemorating their first union; Jack's parents let him keep it.
Ennis's daughter gets married; Ennis is reluctant to attend wedding, but relents. Life goes on.
During our respective lifespans, each of us at some point encounters at least most (if not all) of the dysfunctions presented in this film -- and we each perhaps encounter a number of other dysfunctions.
It is remotely conceivable that such shallow characters as these exist in real life; however, I found relationship to them impossible because I did not find the characters credible.