On the trail of the Yawnsome Pine

Rating: 1/10 (8 May 2006)

This is without doubt one of the most tedious, self-indulgent trawls over well-trodden ground I've ever had the misfortune to sit through. The cowboys are unconvincing and even less sympathetic, and the pace rarely rises above a lackadaisical trot. If it wasn't for a thirty-second turkey carving scene, in which one cowboy finally grows some stirrups, I would not have made it to the end, which came as a great relief, and saw me regretting the hours and money I'd invested in this tiresome effort. This was clearly a movie made to generate Oscar nominations, and if it wasn't for some nice scenery to distract the eye, I wouldn't have been able to keep them open.