Real but not realistic; a haunting film for the cowboy in all of us.

Rating: 10/10 (4 January 2006)

Well, I went to see this movie maybe against my better judgment and you'll understand why shortly. While watching it, I loved the scenery, shocked that mainstream Hollywood would present a semi-graphic sex scene between two men, hated the mumbling, really didn't like Heath Ledger. I thought it was very good, even excellent, but didn't think it was Oscar worthy. Then, on the next day Pow! Then again the following day and the next day and the next and the next.
I had to sit down and read all of these reviews in order to sort out all of my thoughts. I was surprised with those who rated the film with a 9 and under and agreed with many who gave it a 10 out of 10but it was a few of the comments that really struck me. The number of people who talked about "life's hard decisions," the "should have's" and the "what if's", the "deadening" loneliness, that it's not really a gay cowboy movie, about the desire and denial, about the love that surpasses gender and that it's not a film that accuses the men who lie and still marry their wives. Wowthere is so much here and it's hard to pull apart and put back together.
So here goes This movie is very real but not realistic. No gay (or bi) cowboy is ever going to look like these two. The little gratuitous side shot of Jack Twist, crouched at the edge of the stream, wearing nothing but his boots and his hat, washing his clothes, dishes, or who knows. The shot is so poetic that it certainly gets the attention of most of the women and any man who dares to look.
However, the movie is very real. How do I know this? Simply there is no Jack Twist in my life, now or in the past but there could have been. I've been married to my wife for almost twenty years. I told her my secret before marrying her. I thought I could suppress and control my desires and my past. However, your past is your present. I also have daughters. One of the most disturbing scenes for me was when Alma junior comes and asks her father to give her away at her wedding. Over 10 years ago, I wrote a short story about a lonely older man living/dying in a ratty apartment with only his books to keep him company and the occasional visit from his eldest daughter. The corresponding scene in the movie just opened up the well of tears. I've always had that dreaded feeling of inevitably ending up alone, a life of self-imposed seclusion, not knowing how or why I chose the life of a hermit but there I am with the occasional visit from my eldest daughter, the only one who felt obligated or connected enough to care.
This movie is real in the sense that it shows the hard decisions in life and how we strive for the best choices and find out later that perhaps we may have settledhow we try to make the right decision, listening to common sense, but are nagged in our gut by the doubts of a possible wrong choice. This movie is real in showing the yearning ache for somebody who is just not there although you may be surrounded by those others you love and those who love you. This is very real for the despair of discovering that you have done the best you can with the assets you have and it is sometimes still not enough. I grew up in a similar rural community, which was restrictive and somewhat narrow-minded. The original time frame of this movie corresponds to the first 20 years of my life roughly. Just as the time line of this film ends, I go out into the world as a young adult who is trying to define myself, my wants and needs. This is really too spooky. (Who is this Annie Proulx and how does she know all of this stuff about me?) I suffer from clinical depression, which is worsening over the years, despite medical support. My wife is fully aware that the suppression of this inner-Ennis may be contributing to my massive depression. We are trying to steel ourselves for the consequences of my eventual cure. The next few months will tell. Perhaps the way of no longer hurting the ones you love is by living alone in a trailer in some obscure desert.
So, as for the ones who rated this movie below 9, they really didn't get it or they are just not there. This is neither their place nor their time. But those of us who are on the inside (be it sexual ambivalence, be it one-sided love, be it loneliness, be it thinking too much, be it depression), we know that those other people can't see that they are on the outside. Those of us on the inside, we don't care about the Oscars. We may have loved the scenery as it reflects "solitude" and strength. We praise the actors and director as they have peeked into the window of our souls. We search out the short story from Annie Proulx. We look for validation from like-minded reviews on the Net. Yet, we still feel very alone although we are more than one.
Ang Lee's best work involves the scenes of brutal harsh reality and violence that are done with no corresponding soundtrack, to Earl and then to Jack it's the silence or rather the background monotone narration (the sheer calm of the composed narrator's voice) which contrasts brutally to the violence.
P.S. I don't like westerns. I still hate country music. Yet this film still worked for me.