A Father's Love: A Movie Beyond Male Bonding

Rating: 10/10 (2 January 2006)

This is a wonderful and powerfully touching movie. As a dad with two boys, I think there is one message that is lost to most of the reviewers. I'm not going to rehash the story, but focus on a deeper subtext that raises this story to a level similar to Jere Myles' books "Murder on the Pier," and "Murder Behind Closed Doors." This is a story about unfulfilled expectations on the part of all the central characters, but the deeper meaning in this story is Ennis's inability to grasp a hold on his life because of an absent father. Ennis' feelings are as orphaned to him as he has felt throughout his life, and it is not ironic that of the two, he is the one who is obviously in control. The irony is, he doesn't know what to with it. The 'it' being the love he has for Jack.
This movie will be discussed on campuses, restaurants and perhaps even Congress, possibly even pulpits. Arguments will ensue on what made each of them the way they are, but the philosophical underpinning of this movie that makes it touch the fiber of every man is the love of a father, and how that can help frame one's destiny.
Captured on a backdrop of beautiful breathtaking scenery a love story evolves amidst the volatile uncertainty of the 60s. Lee's direction is terse and laconic. There are no opportunities for you to dwell on melodrama. He doesn't allow it. As an audience member, you feel each moment of this movie, whether it's the first night in the tent, or twenty years later when Jack admits he can't shake his love for Ennis. You have been prepped and disarmed to soak each moment as just thata moment in time that's not yours, as much as it is the characters on the screen. You don't want the movie to end. You don't want them to leave each other. You don't want them to leave the mountain, but with the same inevitability of them having to relinquish their expectant hold on each other, you hold on to the idea that maybe they were right, and the rest of the people around them were wrong.
As Jonathan Rose in Myles' book, "Hate Crimes" asked "What are the three most important, and perhaps the three most misunderstood words in a relationship?" The reader, as well as the movie goer encounters these words by understanding as Rose in Myles' book understands it's about, "Having no expectations. You expect the person who tells you I love you, that they love you too. You place a condition on something that should be unconditional. The most important thing to remember here, is that the first 'having no expectations,' is cognitive. You must first think the phrase like you would a new language. The second is self-actualizing. By understanding the phrase, verbalizing it through your understanding, you can then act accordingly. You tie yourselves in knots my limiting your partners, or prospective partners within your parameters, as opposed to allowing them to be free to teach you, and carry you to new dimensions, or share old ones with them." This movie will tie you in knots and make you think about relationships in a totally different unexpectant context.
Heath Ledger's acting is as understated as the majesty of the azure skies of Brokeback Mountain. By contrast, Gyllenhaal's direct aggressive approach toward Jack complements the sullen Ennis. By allowing himself to be overwhelmed, Gyllenhaal is overwhelming as he brutally assaults his inward demons whether it's through a kiss, unrepentant embrace, or castigating an overbearing father-in-law who's never been put in his place. You never feel either Ledger or Gyllenhaal is acting. Not even when Ennis overwhelmingly assaults Jack after not seeing him for four years under the barest of concealment of a staircase where Ennis now lives with his wife and two daughters, one of the more pivotal points in the movie.
This is a man's movie, but a complete review of this movie would be incomplete without mentioning the supporting female cast. Each in their own way, add a dimension that forces the audience to empathize and commiserate with Ennis and Jack. Michelle Williams is probably the standout as she gives men something to hate, when we really want someone to understand us and let us be. On the other hand, I was particularly moved by Linda Cardellini, who becomes Ennis' girlfriend after his divorce. Not on the screen as much as Michelle Williams, Cardellini causes the audience to whimper for both her and Ennis as she is the most fragile and redeeming of the women drawn here. Unable to understand being shut out of Ennis' life, her one tear toward the end of the movie qualifies her as Shakespearean a tragedienne as Eileen Prescott in Myles' 'Hate Crimes' novel. Likewise, as haunting and unforgettable are the few chosen words and expressions Jack's mother offers Ennis before providing him with a brown paper bag for his own.
Finally, what makes this a man movie for me is Jack's dad. Unlike Jack, Jack's father had no expectations of his son. He loved him as deeply as men in those days were silent about loving, even their own sons. That's what makes this movie a tragically beautiful true to life story. I will not destroy the ending, but the scene with Jack's father was to me, one of the more poignant and spoke volumes about acceptance, affirmation and the accountability that good fathers need to have of themselves to make sure they raise sons that love themselves. Go see it, 'without expectations.' You won't soon forget it.