The Malborough Man can be gay

Rating: 4/10 (27 April 2006)

Mediocre westerns have been filmed on grandiose backgrounds where majestic mountains and great divides have somewhat compensated for fifteen minute plots where a group of unwashed ragtags eating beans take up an expendable hour getting from point A to point B. To some extent this movie shares that unremarkable distinction.
If the intention of this movie is to present the male homosexual experience in a memorable, unforgettable, landmark way, it fails terribly. Two rednecks with the vision, ambition, and sophistication of one of the Clampetts are brought together carnally as they herd (watch? protect?) sheep in very cold weather. It is the way in which they first get it on that in my opinion dooms this movie to the level of mere fashionable shock. They get it on pure and simple and with the skilled directness of professional porno actors. There is little if any pretense at affection, seduction, exploration, discovery, etc. and the application of spit so artful! I could not help thinking that if it had involved the sheep instead, it might have been done more gracefully.
They drink a lot, swear a lot, complain that sheep-herding and cow-punching is no way to get rich, and apparently get it on a lot since they are rarely near the sheep and their job performance is a bit questionable. The rodeo bit is brought in eventually as another indication (I guess) of men being macho, financial failures, and gay. The author apparently wanted to convey a story of true love being trapped and doomed by circumstances leading to an unhappy ending. Well, Romeo and Juliet this is not. As they lead their separate lives, our two main characters meet to get it on at varying intervals and their get-away love nest gives title to the movie.
The continuous frustration expressed in their inability to conveniently become life partners is not enough to earn them much sympathy with this viewer. The limited diet of their wilderness tryst is a subject at times, but they never bother to fish. Is it that they don't like fish? They ride horses, enjoy the beautiful scenery, discuss how unfair the world is to them, and apparently get it on so much, they don't have time to fish. Thing is, it is the limited scope of their world that is limiting their opportunity. If they truly love each other, why not get away somewhere else-say San Francisco? Is it because there are no sheep or cattle to herd there? Or that there is no need for heavy construction equipment there? It seems that they are more afraid of leaving their redneck environment, then they are of being miserable and horny most of the time.
In the final analysis the movie would have been better titled Redneck Mountain, and the acclaim it may have received is probably in no small way due to the present "correctness" trend in artistic circles. I can't say I was qualified, or interested in judging the actual acting. For one thing it would make a difference knowing whether the protagonists are actually gay or not. Except to those that choose to make this movie a flagship for their cause, I am afraid that the acting performance is doomed to be forgotten.
A tawdry, sad, exploitative movie.
I retrospect I can see that this review will succeed in pleasing almost no one. The true homophobes will feel I am too kind giving it four stars (three are for cinematography) and those desperate or fashionable enough to feel obligated to taking this movie to their heart will think me insensitive, a closet gay-basher or whatever.
Fact is I have no desire to pass judgment or express an opinion on any aspect of the entire alternate sex issue. I am limiting myself to the story and the character development as a worthy movie. Now, the majority of gay people are going to feel committed to seeing this movie for obvious reasons. Certain straights are going to see the movie and force themselves to like it in a patronizing sort of way. I fall in neither of these categories, so I am going to call things as I see them, plain and simple.
The relationship between the two men is never developed past the purely physical. Other than small talk and what they have been doing for a living, one has little idea at what they have to talk about. They are both cheating on their wives and the beautiful mountain location is not the inn of the seventh happiness but merely a far away place to hide their unpopular activities.
The way the children and wives are handled by them is selfish and insensitive. So they are afraid to come out, but other than for the fact that it is inconvenient and possibly dangerous in their circumstances, little else is developed on the subject. Now it isn't as if they have serious careers or other critical factors keeping them from moving elsewhere. Their wives indubitably would be better off without them. So they make (or fail to make) their choices and if I were gay, I would be far from pleased with this movie. On the other hand, if you've decided you're going to like this movie, by all means go see it.