Gay Cowboys? Who Cares?

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2006)

Hardly the gay-porn flick everyone was expecting it to be. This was kinda boring too; Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal take care of sheep up on Brokeback Mountain, and in between herding and eating campfire-cooked beans, have sex with each other. The first sex scene happens 28 minutes into the film, where Heath goes all backdoor on Jake. Heath appears to be the more aggressive one in this movie, beating up a couple of louts during a fireworks display. For the most part, he plays a grumpy, pessimistic Eeyore to Jake's stupidly optimistic Winnie-the-Pooh. Jake is convinced they can both start a sheep ranch and live happily ever after, and have sex every day instead of once every four months, or four years or whenever. I won't blow (pun intended) the ending for you, but it had me saying, "that's it?" Anne (Princess Diaries) Hathaway plays a Texas rodeo slut who becomes Jake's blasÃ©, shallow Texas wife. Michelle Williams plays Heath's wife, who gets the shock of her mid 1960s life when she sees her husband and Jake kiss passionately in front of their apartment building. As someone who is completely cynical, this "love story" made me say "who cares?" Everyone makes a big deal about love. Who in this life gets exactly what they want? What about all the straight people out there who look for love and never get it? Some people struggle in life; some don't. Some people find love easily, some don't. I think Robin Williams and Harvey Fierstein should have played the main characters; it certainly would have made for a more interesting and funny movie.