Made huge mistake; must warn others!

Rating: 7/10 (6 April 2000)

First of all, I have to say that the first time I saw Braveheart, I loved it, unequivocally. Too old to remember what I once knew of Scottish history, and therefore entirely unaware of any historical inaccuracies which I've since heard others put forth, I saw only a long, lush, romantic, dramatic, cinematic war poem, the sort of thing that would have become required reading in English literature courses had it been created by a troubador a few centuries earlier. It didn't even bother me that Mel Gibson, despite his usual exceptionally strong acting, was far too old for the hero's role. I was enchanted and deeply moved.
Let me also state my opinion that, no matter what, Braveheart is still a really good movie. The sheer choreography of the battle scenes is superb and not to be missed. Patrick McGoohan's performance is the best I've seen him do yet. Most of the little glimpses we get of Sophie Marceau are lovely and memorable. The only real criticisms I can make of this film rest on the length and on certain cliches which could have been avoided; there were a number of scenes that could have been trimmed to strengthen Braveheart's impact immensely, and the script was not always as strong as the point. But these are small criticisms. Watching Braveheart is like immersing yourself greedily in a thick historical novel.
However, when I first saw Braveheart, I had never seen anything like it on film. So over the course of the next few years, hungry for more rich widescreen epics spread over two cassettes, I watched and rewatched a lot of other films, as much David Lean and Akira Kurosawa as I could find. The first movie I saw after Braveheart was Lawrence of Arabia, which I'd seen and loved before; then, at my boyfriend's instigation, I moved into Kurosawa with a vengeance, starting with Ran. If my goal had been to keep loving Braveheart, this was probably my first mistake.
Then my boyfriend, at my urging, bought the video of Braveheart, letterboxed and everything as all originally widescreen films should be. A big Kurosawa fan, and someone who cannot seem to get enough of beautifully presented violent tragedy, I assumed my boyfriend would love Braveheart as much as I had. This was my second mistake. For had he not purchased this videotape, my third and most critical error of judgment would never have occurred.
My third mistake took place a couple of weeks ago. We held a little film party at our house, ostensibly to watch Monty Python movies with a bunch of our friends, ages ranging from early 20s to late 30s. We first watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a brilliant and hilarious movie we all love dearly. Then the people who don't like violent tragedies, even when beautifully presented, had to go home. So the question arose, what should we watch next?
For some reason, neither Monty Python's The Meaning of Life nor Life of Bryan, which we had rented just for the occasion, appealed to the remaining guests. For some perverse reason which I can only attribute to too many margaritas, we all agreed to watch Braveheart.
Like The Holy Grail, Braveheart attempts to portray life in medieval Britain as it might really have been, filth and all. So the first time we snickered when we saw a dirty face, we suspected we were in trouble. As soon as the first English soldier in a bullet-shaped helmet appeared to receive a thorough taunting, those of use who had seen Braveheart before knew at once that our love affair with the film was over. It didn't take long for our small audience to begin screaming things at the screen such as, "Come back and fight, you coward!" or "Not dead; in fact, I'm feeling a little better," or "You don't frighten us, English pig dogs!" or, worst of all, "Naughty, naughty Zoot!"
I don't want to spoil Braveheart for others. The purpose of this review is simply to put forth a warning. And so I will not walk you through all the parallels we encountered, much to the detriment of Braveheart, from costume to character to event. It would be unkind. Nor will I go into a detailed analysis of the flaws of Braveheart versus the virtues of, say, Kagemusha.
I would offer two warnings, though. The first warning is that, if you love Braveheart and have not watched a lot of Kurosawa, go carefully into that rich domain. Know that once you have seen Ran, with all its beautifully composed scenes, unique and perfect music, and careful, truly poetic editing, never again will you be able to look at Braveheart with the same respect.
The second warning is much more obscure, probably a mistake others are not likely to make, but still... If you love Braveheart, or if you want to love Braveheart, never ever screen it directly after screening Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, sure; should you disregard this warning, you will certainly have fun. Rolling around on the floor and laughing until you hurt is generally enjoyable. However, you will never again be able to view Braveheart with any type of dignity.