The Greatest Documentary I Have Ever Seen

Rating: 4/10 (1 February 2014)

A young Hobbit called Wally realises he may be gay . He dresses in a skirt and grows his hair like a girl . Trying to fight against his feelings of gay lust he meets a young maiden in Middle Earth but unfortunately it is under occupation from the Orcs and they kill Wally's love . This really angers him because she was very good at giving Wally advice on hair care and other girly stuff . This only reinforces his homosexual feelings and so goes on an adventure where he walks around in painfully homo-erotic slow motion promising to free Middle Earth from the Orcs . Or failing that going to another part of Middle Earth that is a bit more sunny
It really was disgraceful that some people in Scotland were taken by this Hollywood garbage . It's by no means the worst film ever since the fight scenes are well done but it proves and for all that patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel and every sculpture featuring Wallace since this film was released just happened to have a physical similarity to a certain Hollywood actor . I don't want to condone crime but I do enjoy reading about some Scottish council somewhere complaining that someone keep vandalising some expensive Wallace monument and it is going to cost a lot of money to repair it . Save your money by not jumping on a BRAVEHEART bandwagon . If Mel Gibson wants monuments of him built he can use his own money