Oh my Gods!

Rating: Null/10 (4 February 2001)

Mel Gibson didn't need the money THAT badly did he?
Where do we start to tell the tales of woe that surround and ultimately crush this tripe?
This movie has been made before. 'strue.
Only the last time you saw it, it was called Little Big Man or something just as banal.
Forget the fact that the only apparent link between the film and the facts is that it has a character called William Wallace in it.
Forget that the French princess was only about eight years old at the time.
Forget that that Scottish twit of a king was but a mere teenager when all this was supposed to have happened.
This movie is "Titanic" without the ship!!!
I think Mel Gibson was probably abducted by aliens immediately prior to the making of this movie and returned as a kill-bot or something.
(What ... you think you could come up with a BETTER explanation for his fall from Grace?)
Gibson seems to have James-Cameron-Disease (A rare and sadly non-fatal malady from the late 20th Century that causes great film-makers to turn into mindless cretins who have all the creative talents of Pluto the Dog!!)
Another Hollywood propaganda movie here ....
Spot the exceptionally bad accents (yeah .... it makes your ears hurt after a while, listening to foreigners trying to be a Scot)
Here's my theory on this movie:
They took the plots from Highlander, Pale Rider, The Magnificent Seven, and a host of other great movies. Then they got Peewee Hermann, Coco The Clown, Lassie, and Bill Clinton's Speech-writer to re-hash it. They then managed to con Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles into producing and directing it.
THEN they had the Spice Girls do post-production, just to polish it up.
Well, it certainly SEEMS that way.
If anyone can come up with a better version of how/why this movie was released, I'd be MORE than happy to hear it.

Overall, it was about as exciting as watching my hair turn grey, and about as mentally-stimulating as 3 dozen Valium.
How sad that one of Scotland's greatest sons was turned into Mad Max while his story was turned into THIS cinematographic torture-chamber.
Oh yeah .... one final thought.
The guy who wrote this movie was on TV recently saying that he firmly believes himself a descendant of William Wallace (a man who supposedly died childless!!) and because nobody can prove otherwise, that's his story and he's sticking to it.
Pretty much like David Koresh saying that he is Jesus because nobody can prove otherwise!!
Says it all really, huh?