history of the British Isles raped, 20th century cheers

Rating: 2/10 (10 October 1999)

I will start with the one area of Braveheart that I will give praise to: the battle scenes. The battle scenes were, for the most part, very accurate and appropriately brutal. While I did think it was "cool" to see William Wallace wielding a military pick at one point in the film, it seemed pretty nonsensical. It seems as if someone on the set said, "You know what would be really COOL? We could have Wallace smash in some guy's head with a big HAMMER! Yeah, YEAH!"
As for the rest of this film -- let me simply say that I probably would have found it to be wonderful if it was about a man named Elphed Beeblebrox and his life-quest to gain freedom for his nation, Goonia, from the evil imperial Shanta and King Twazel II.
However, as this movie is simply an exercise in making history as two-dimensional and misrepresentative as possible, I have to give a big obscene gesture out to everyone involved in the more important aspects of making this film. I'm sure I don't need to go into details about this -- if you actually cared, you'd probably go pick up a book to read about the history of this period. Let me just set three things straight: both England and Scotland were horrible "sports" during this entire protracted war, Edward I died about ten years after Wallace was executed (Ed continued to pound Scotland throughout this entire time),
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