Bravehart, Disney Princess style.

Rating: Null/10 (5 April 2016)

There was a lot of buildup for this film. A lot. And at the time I was sorry I missed the movie in the theatres. I expected a film about a female venturing into the male world of warriors.
But, ah, no, it was not so. Instead I, like the rest of America (and the world I guess) saw a movie about a family Ursine oriented curse.
Huh.
You know, I just don't get what the heck goes through the heads of some of these Hollywood producers these days. Case in point, I saw that A-Team reunion sponsored by UK's Channel four, and one of the comments made by either one of the cast members or the producer was that TV (and movies I guess) today is all about female fantasy.
Okay. Fine. The buyer for the household is a woman or female. But, ah, I think statistically the breadwinner is still the father, and he still takes his kids to movies. Half of which, ideally, are male. So, you as a father with a wife, daughter, and a son, are going to see a Disney family film. And it's another Disney Princess affair, only set in the cold rainy latitudes of Scotland. But it's still about a girl, her mother, and their issues.
Are you going to see another Disney picture, knowing that's it's going to be about some female and her issues? Maybe. But I'm guessing probably not.
Especially when said issues revolve around transmogrifying your parent into a creature of the wild. Oh sure, maybe there's some allegorical theme about familial relations or dysfunction in a family, but ... where's the dude stuff?
You know, maybe I'm just not Disney viewer material anymore. Maybe Micky, Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, Donald and all the rest are just animal vestiges of what is now strictly a "girl's world" when it comes to things Disney. Maybe I'm old, stodgy, and just plain old mean and nasty (as per some other poster's view on my opinion on illicit substances and abuse thereof). Maybe I'm just not with the times. Maybe I'm old fashioned and need to go buy a cabin in the woods and let society evolve.
Ah ... NO!
Look, PIXAR and Disney Studios, I actually don't mind films focused on women or the fairer sex in general. But when you crank out this garbage to the exclusion of all else, then you lose me and the rest of red-white and blue blooded American males.
Brave was not interesting. Brave had no epic feel or qualities to it, unlike what was suggested in the promos. Brave focused on yet another mother-daughter relationship thing. Brave, for all of its Scottish medieval-ism, had absolutely nothing to do with Scotland during the middle ages. You might as well set this thing in 21st century Aspen ... at least according to FBI statistics most sociopaths gravitate towards there, so you might have a better story to work with.
But as it stands now, this was a run in the mill CGI fest that would have made me feel very ripped off had I paid a full ticket price to see it, as opposed to checking out a beat-up copy from the local library FOR FREE.
I grew up with Disney. I got the story records, I saw Herbie and Swiss Family Robinson and other films several times, visited Disneyland, bought some of the classic films on both VHS and DVD ... the whole nine yards.
But as a male, regardless of my age, I'm feeling more and more alienated by a marketing model that has all but ditched my sex to see if girls of all ages will open up their wallets and purses to shell out cash for half baked schlock. And that includes TRON Legacy, by the way.
Disney powers that be, go back, rework your script, and make a REAL movie about Scotland in the middle ages, but for the sake of sheer humanity, put some GUY STUFF in the damn thing.
End of story.