One of the worst movies ever made

Rating: 1/10 (16 January 2009)

This is an exceptionally poor version of the undead but beloved vampire movie. Even though Bram Stoker's Dracula is not anywhere near as funny as the plethora of Dracula spoofs out there, the acting is just as bad if not worse. The special effects are not really that special either. Believe it or not, in this major studio motion picture, there is a scene in which a blatantly bad steam-engined model train is used to laughingly represent the chase where the hero 'Jonathan' (Keanu 'Ted' Reeves) tries to get to his love 'Mina' (Winona Ryder) back from 'Dracula' (Gary Oldman) who has whisked her away to his secret lair to be his love for all eternity after the mandatory neck bite and gory blood sucking. After some word bantering, posturing and comparisons of good and evil, he, of course, wins her back from Dracula and life and the undead, go on.
This film is a very very long, over-acted, badly written, poorly staged, tragically directed, overrated turd of a picture, that's only one redeeming quality is that most of the soundtrack is pretty quiet and it shouldn't keep you from getting a decently long nap during the showing.
You needn't bother to stay awake for this rehashing of the over thrashed Dracula myth unless you yourself are an undead ghoul with nothing better to do or a hard-core old Ann Rice fan (her new stuff is just to Catholicistic) with lots of time on your hands that just can't give up on the belief that you can't really call it necking unless you draw blood.