Chicken ribs...

Rating: 1/10 (10 January 2014)

I would give a minus 10 if I could.
Something about Dracula (1992) has always been rather confusing to me, because it has been regarded by some as the most artistic vampire film, which is incomprehensible. It is ABSOLUTELY NOT a classic, and "chicken ribs" is more like it. ("Chicken ribs" is an expression in Chinese that describes something of little value and taste. I don't know about other languages.)
Let's just forget about whether it is faithful to the original novel, and regard it as a standalone film.
Look! Lucy's bloody head is flying in midair in slow-mo, in a second the picture is cut to the scene where Hopkins the Van Helsing is gorging on a gigantic pile of bloody repulsive pork or whatever. It can be certain that he hasn't indulged himself like that for a very long time.
The same with Dracula! In broad daylight, on the streets of London, he is hooking up with Mina. Then the pair is dating each other in a warm-hued restaurant. Mina starts to have illusions of her "before-life". Whether this is because she is high on absinthe, or horny before marriage (with Jonathan), or influenced by the magic powers of Dracula, remains unclear. Then, Mina is rapidly in love with her "Prince". And later on, Dracula reveals his true identity to Mina, and Mina madly expresses her love, "Take me Love what you love, see what you see" She is really godly fast even when she's got a fiancé already Surely Bram Stoker never saw that coming.
At the moment of realizing the opponent is Dracula, Hopkins the Van Helsing bursts into a horrific laughter---He's a sage? He's a psycho?---After all, this old prick is the ultimate BOSS, and Dracula is doomed to become a tragic clown.
Under the influence of Dracula Mina gets "deviant", and on the night of Hopkins the Van Helsing's company, she says, "I know the lust of men," before Van Helsing gets horny too and enters Mina's bosom. Mina suddenly says, "You bastard. You want to drive a stake through my heart like you did to poor Lucy?" and tries to attack the old punk before getting subdued by his little crucifix. This scene is "epic" whether it aims to express that Dracula's magic is potent, or that Van Helsing is full of lust.
Later, out of the blue, Hopkins the Van Helsing finds the dormitory of the three vamps, cuts off their heads, throws them down the cliff while screaming: "Dracu----------------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suffice it to say, this scene shows that Mr. Van is "intelligent" & "peaceful", a "sage"!
Hollywood is no stranger to car chasing scenes, and there is also one in this film: Dracula takes a ride home, and the other main cast rides and pursues. Dracula sticks his head out of soil, looking dirty and ugly.
The fight sequence near the ending is very short. Dracula, his face looking like a gorilla's, for an instant appears super ass-kicking, before getting kicked in the ass. Supported by his mistress Mina, he staggers into his living room. A stake through the heart, off with his head! Blah-blah-blahthen his spirit is free! Thus the holy music gets defiled as the film closes
A recap: vampire Dracula has an overseas trip, tries to possess other people's wife who looks like his own who died 400 years ago, murders an "innocent" girl Lucy in the process, and then on the way back gets kicked in the ass and then eats the dust.
"Love Never Dies" is printed on the poster. Looks like the director tries hard to show the theme of true love's immortality of a vampire, Ah! But true love! Whither art thou!
On one hand, it tries to impress the audience with a love story; on the other hand, it tries to depict the darkness and horror of vampire. How difficult it is for the director to do both!
PS: Jonathan explores the castle and encounters the three vamps who dress in a rather nude fashion, who calls to him, "Come hereLie down" (And he listens and obeys! He's also a prick!) The shot of Jonathan screaming to the point of faintness upon watching the vamps eating a baby is absolutely fantastic! Astonishingly beautiful! The actor Keanu Reeves truly shows Jonathan's fear. However, if the picture of his screaming face is noted with "When Neo meets Smith", it can be in a nice parody of The Matrix!
The film "Dracula: Dead and Loving it" seems "vulgar", and the story is told in a very humorous way that is mockingly funny and lovely, bringing smiles to people's faces.
By contrast, Dracula (1992) consciously seems to define itself as a classic magnificent masterpiece, and ends up being a big poser.