Fangs for the MTV Generation

Rating: Null/10 (19 April 2002)

Ahhhh, the grandest or ironies! Francis Ford Coppola, Columbia and Zoetrope Pictures have spared little expense in bringing to the screen a film all about hearts and souls, yet in a fashion almost devoid of those two essential qualities.
This is Dracula for the MTV generation; lotsa flash, quick-cutting, hammy performances (especially Oldman's Dracula, and Hopkin's Van Helsing is hardly a study in cool reserve, either) and little bite (pardon the pun!) Oh, and it's unmercifully overlong, to boot.
Much of a love story? Not really. Ryder's reedy voice and all too obvious strident histrionics negate any emotional involment. This and Oldman's scenery-chewing Drac doth a soggy blanket make. Goodness, and Mr. Woodenheart himself, Keanu, will have you yawning quicker than you can say "Nosferatu".
It would be polite at this time to commend the stunning visuals of Michael Ballhaus and the beautiful score provided by Wojciech Kilar. And I shall offer that courtesy. But it's only the most hollow of flatteries. It wouldn't be much to expect these peripherals given that this is from a studio called Columbia, a film-maker named Coppola, boasting a not inconsiderable budget. Any film these days with such credentials usually fall over the line in these areas.
I'll conclude by citing the movie's one outstanding achievement in emotional, connective, terms - Annie Lennox's haunting (sorry, that's two puns) "Love Song For A Vampire". Why is it that so many special songs with potential to lift a movie from the doldrums only appear over the credit roll? The shame of it! And this in a film indicative of the MTV sensibility. Well, I started with an irony.....