Eschews the subtle approach.

Rating: 3/10 (11 May 2001)

Francis Ford Coppola's attempt at bringing the classic novel to the big screen is a resounding failure. As so many others have commented before me, if it had been called by another name he MIGHT have gotten away with it. As it is, the movie bears almost no relation to the original text.
Coppola seems to think he's orchestrating a lavish stage musical rather than attempting to produce a 120 minute movie. The sets and costumes are fabulous, but almost all of the cast ham up their performances dreadfully. Only Ryder seems to have any tangible idea of her character profile. It was she who originally took the script to Francis Ford Coppola; it was otherwise going to be a TV-movie. From the looks of this, it should have stayed in that format. It truly is "The Rocky Horror Picture Show Part II" - only without the irony.
Gary Oldman delivers a performance as the titular Count which - while not completely awful - is decidedly poor by his standards. The less said about Keanu's accent the better; although I can see why they cast him purely on looks. Hopkins is merely average as Van Helsing.
The film is way too cluttered to take seriously, and as far as I could assess, the copious sex and nudity served no thematic purpose whatsoever. It did however, manage to keep my interest amidst all the silly theatrics. Coppola fails to treat the source legend with the respect it deserves and instead directs like a hyperactive kid let loose in a toy shop, brutally destroying the merchandise. It's laughable when you consider what he had to work with. Actually, no; it makes me want to cry.