Dracula the angsty teenage boy

Rating: 4/10 (28 August 2017)

I read the novel when i was a teenager and didn't hate it nor did i love it , it was a simple story monster causes trouble , he is surrounded by mystery , an old wise man knows him for what he is blah blah blah , it wasn't terrifying either though it sure has a certain amount of creepiness about it , the movie however is just pure unintentional comedy , Dracula here is an angst y love sick boy , he walks around either wearing giant buttocks on his head or as as very poor copy of John Lennon , he is looking for the love of his life reincarnated as as a bland bony girl with huge ears ( if you have big big ears cover them with your hair do not show them off ) , he speaks with long long pauses and his shadow dances around him completely independent of him ( some time around the middle of the movie the shadow retires and moves his happy ass back to Trrransilvvaania , we don't get to see him no more ) he follows his love around and tries to seduce her , and meanwhile makes a snack of her best friend and rapes her as well ,then goes back to his home and dies. This story is thrown at us as a love story but i didn't see love in one second of it , it was not even lusty it was just awkward and jerky with poor Gary Oldman trying and failing to pull a Russian accent.