Ees nice

Rating: 8/10 (21 September 2006)

This is one of the few films that has made me laugh a lot. The screening started an hour later than planned, in a very hot cinema, so everyone was probably a little dizzy with dehydration, which probably helped the feeling of giddiness. Unfortunately my sight lines were blocked by the low rake of seats, which made it almost impossible to read the occasional hilarious subtitles.
OK. The movie purports to be from Kstan (cowardice spelling of tricky word) so has soviet era graphics and credits, but then very good quality 35mm sequences which spoils it a little bit. Might have been a little braver and convincing to have the whole thing in low quality Kazakh video.
The balls in the face. The balls in his f***** face. Oh God, oh sweet dear God. He's wrestling naked with his fellow star, a very fat man, whose genitals are obscured by his rolls of hairy flabby flesh, and he ends up with the man sat on his face, his nose up his arse, and the man's balls ON HIS FACE. At the same time there seems to be a little bit of tentativity, as Mr Cohen's penis is blacked out with an enormous penis shaped black blob. The pair then run naked through the hotel they're staying in, get crammed in a lift with strangers, and invade a conference, at which point they are wrestled to the ground by security.
I don't know if it was faked or not. There's no way to tell. They weren't shot, so maybe it wasn't real. Certainly at the end, where he shoves Pamela Anderson into his marriage sack at a Virgin megastore signing, she must have known about it before.
A few of the scenes are taken from his British series and reshot in America, but with an extra twist. He invites a black prostitute to an etiquette dinner of white southern secessionists. They call the cops. He smashes $425 of crockery in a civil war antiques shop. He buys a bar and rides around with it in an old ice cream van. He kisses strangers in the street, and chases them when they run away.
It's certainly a lot better than his performance in Talladega Nights. Maybe Ferrell didn't want to be upstaged, or didn't want to rub his balls in Sacha's face. Oh God. OH GOD.