Absolute garbage from start to finish, with Susie Essman being the only saving grace.

Rating: 1/10 (13 March 2009)

Disney is the one company most renowned for its universal animated classics, and all these years has only scarcely stepped outside that genre. Though undoubtedly that has been a wise move. It is there that they truly belong, and dozens of prestigious awards that they now have up their sleeve ought to prove it. What's more these achievements aren't just for critics and award judges to adore but audiences to yawn at, they're incredibly entertaining. Naturally they are all very simple, but also full of incredible characters, spectacular animation and beautiful storytelling. Though of course, this is all in the past. Bolt is a perfect specimen of what the company produces nowadays, quick one-dimensional flops whipped up carelessly and effortlessly that bore anyone under the age of eleven out of their brains. To create the story, screenplay writers Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams have taken ideas from 'Stardust' (2007,) 'Toy Story' (1995,) '101 Dalmatians 2: Patch's London Adventure' and who knows how many other films. The animation makes us question whether they put Lego people in front of the camera instead of using computers and the voice cast is half asleep. With the exception of Susie Essman, who is the only cast member that bothered to put some effort and energy into her performance. Though she mightn't have enough fame attached to her name to be mentioned up on the poster with John Travolta and Miley Cyrus, she put a certain realistic liveliness into her character that none of the others could be bothered to do - perhaps they could have, but thanks to their laziness we will never know. But as wonderful as she was, she also is  sadly  bound by the dull script and can never truly flourish.
The faulty failure opens with an action-packed chase scene styled like one from a sci-fi adventure television series to introduce canine superhero Bolt (Travolta) and his sidekick owner Penny (Cyrus:) the heroic duo in an epic battle against the sinister 'green-eyed man.' (If you try hard, you may just manage to enjoy this long, exhausting scene.) Then we hear a director yell "cut!" and see the sky, train, ground, and everything else assumed real being taken down to reveal that everything we just saw was  in the world of the film  part of a TV show. (Shame that the advertising gave that twist away.) Though there is markedly absolutely no difference between Penny and Bolt and the actors who play them (again in the world of the film,) apart from the fact that in the real world Bolt is just an ordinary dog. But while Penny is easily able to distinguish between the world of the show and the world of reality, poor delusional Bolt isn't. He believes that everything being performed on set is actually happening, including his powerful 'super-bark.' So after a scene is filmed that ends on a cliff-hanger in which Penny is kidnapped the poor clueless mutt escapes from the studio and embarks on a ridiculous search for his owner, manipulated by three imbecilic pigeons into dragging a terrified rebellious scruffy old stray cat (Essman) and picking up a demented hamster Bolt TV series fan (voiced by Mark Walton, who tries to be as distinguished as Essman but instead awfully overdoes it.) From there we have about half an hour of redeeming fun before a predictable and seemingly never-ending conclusion.
It is now finally clear that Disney has forever lost its touch and should immediately consult Pixar before they even begin to make another animated film from now on. Walt would never have allowed this disaster to occur, but he's long gone and so is his legacy. But hey, get used to it. This film isn't the first of its kind and it certainly won't be the last. So let us let go of the past and brace ourselves for a long and tiresome future.