We will (not) rock you

Rating: 2/10 (27 December 2019)

*sigh* Where do I even begin with this film?
Bohemian Rhapsody is a sanitised, by-the-numbers, formulaic biopic about Queen and its lead singer Freddie Mercury. Now, when it comes to films that follow a formula, I'm not that harsh compared to some other cinephiles. For me, it's more about the execution; originality is great and all, but if it isn't executed well, the uniqueness kinda goes for a toss for me. The problem here is that Rhapsody is basic and by-the-numbers in the worst way possible: it takes the standard-issue formula of a music biopic, follows its every cliche to the tee and executes it without any nuance, subtlety or depth. Ironic, considering how beautifully unique the titular song is.
The original director Bryan Singer was fired after 2/3rds of the film was shot. Dexter Fletcher was assigned to finish the rest of the film and it really shows. The direction is all over the place - compare the sweet and understated scene where Freddie and Mary signal each other with lamps to the cringeworthy and hamfisted scene where the band meets an EMI executive played by Mike Myers, and the difference is clear. Editing is also haphazard and shoddy; some shots never last longer than 5 seconds or so, and there are even some random frames added in certain scenes. The concert scenes particularly suffer from this; these sequences never focus too long on the performances themselves or the crowd's reaction, instead they're half-heartedly cut back and forth, nearly ruining them in the progress (not that they were that great anyway). Even the Live Aid recreation in the end falls victim to the subpar editing. The film's probably edited that way to make it appear fast paced and create a sense of dynamism. The final effect, however, is closer to being annoying. The cinematography is strictly okay; a few good shots and not much else.
What's truly awful, though, is the writing. The film simply skims through most of Queen's career, no more obvious than in the first 30 minutes of the film where Queen go on to a USA tour barely minutes after having their first college show together. There are no signs of struggle for the band apart from repetitive montages where the band is brainstorming about how the songs should sound like, then going "Eureka!" and coming up with iconic riffs thanks to their "innovative thinking". The film seems to imply that Queen achieved massive worldwide adoration without much hiccups. The dialogues are on-the-nose and sloppy. It got old when the band members talked about their "uniqueness" and "artistic integrity" for the 30th time. The character development here is pretty much garbage. No one apart from Freddie Mercury (not even the rest of the band members) get any sort of development, and even then, Freddie only gets a generic "tragic rock star" arc. Due to this, certain scenes in the third act which are meant to elicit an emotional response ring completely false; Freddie belabours the point about Queen being a "family", but it means nothing because we don't see Freddie bonding with Brian, Roger and John much and neither does the film spend time showing how were these guys like. Similarly, when Freddie's father finally feels proud of his son, it means nothing simply because we don't get the opportunity to get to know his family or his upbringing.
The portrayal of homosexuality in the film is... troubling, to say the least. I won't go much into it because many people have dissected it better than I ever could. I'll say this: I hate how the film decides to focus on Freddie's miserable and toxic relationship with Paul Prenter (who's exactly the kind of loathsome, one-note villain you see in Indian soap operas) while almost completely shafting his relationship with Jim Hutton. It's appalling how this film disrespects Jim, to the point that Freddie greets him in the creepiest way possible. And what was up with that truck driver scene?
Along with fast-forwarding through Queen's career, writer Anthony McCarten also alters historical facts to a ridiculous degree. The most egregious examples of this are the whole band breakup and Freddie's AIDS diagnosis. Roger Taylor and Brian May made solo albums before Freddie Mercury, Queen never broke up, Freddie Mercury didn't get diagnosed with AIDS until 1987 and as a result, Live Aid wasn't a Queen reunion nor was it an "One Last Show" for Freddie, and yet McCarten fabricates all of that in the name of manufactured drama. It's one thing to change facts in the name of artistic license, it's another thing to flat-out lie to the audience. We also don't get a sense of the music industry of that time, besides name-dropping Elton John and David Bowie. Bob Geldof gets an incredibly small part, and that's it.
Among the gamut of flaws, however, there are still a few bright spots. Rami Malek's performance may not be my favourite of last year, and he does struggle to rise above the material initially, but he slowly becomes more comfortable in the role and he injects genuine emotion and feeling in his portrayal of Freddie. Lucy Boynton is also good as Mary Austin (and oh so beautiful!). To be fair, the rest of the actors aren't bad, but they're not noteworthy either. The scene where Freddie comes out as bisexual is well directed and well acted, despite some questionable writing choices. The Live Aid sequence in the end of the film nicely captures the energy of the original concert, and the We Will Rock You montage is pretty enjoyable too. Apart from that, there are a few funny throwaway lines, like "If I go any higher only dogs will hear me!". Oh, and the soundtrack is great, of course.
Bohemian Rhapsody is obsessed with the image of Queen and Freddie Mercury being legends without going into the reason as to why. We get only surface-level portrayals of these guys, though Rami does try (and almost succeed) to give Freddie more depth than the script allows for. As a result, we get a dull, dismal biopic that does a disservice to the band's legacy. Queen deserves better, and so do we.