Its Blue,blande and its bad...

Rating: Null/10 (14 August 2003)

Being dragged off to any female film by an eccentric child,sibling,partner or other relative,for most males,is not an especially happy time.Imagine then,my horror,when a Surfing "Fun Chic Flick" movie appears on the screen?I thought I might enjoy a quick doze,but after the credits rolled I thought I might go along for the ride. It enters with a grizzly surfing accident,of a bobbing head colliding with an underwater rock.Good,maybe an action genre will come into play.Alas,I was uneducated it what this was about..... It follows with the lives of a three young Post-Teen surfers doing their thing.Anne Marie(Bosworth) as the main character,her two friends and her younger sister. Anne Marie is what seems like a typical surfing beach-bimbo with a fanatic and highly boring sports addiction and two supposedly "rough and bitter" friends who fail to get past the bimbo set-up. Anne-Marie,surprisingly does,It portrays her as intelligent,bubbly and haunted with past insecurities.They fail completely. She has a job as a part-time cleaner,struggling to pay the bills while cleaning up filth from vile customers(I wont go into detail of what)in which she apparently finds funny.Yes,very....(note sarcasm) It continues.The younger sister,a trapped and typical angstful teenager.The plot goes off the rails,but instead of crashing,intends to bore you to death.The sister has to be dragged out of a party with older boys(A guy meant to be twenty with grey hair),noteably their rival who looks like a drugged OAP with a tough character.He grunts,he shoves and shouts.Perfect,the directors cry,what a good rival. Joy of Joys when we get a macho football player enter and the terrificly stupid romance plot enters the rubbish story. What follows is him trying to use his non-existentent charm and acting abilities to woo her into some kind of partnership,and the story now practically throws a fat genre of bordem down your throat.Its depressingly bad. And now for the final insult of patronising,it adds some surfing,with Anne Marie doing a couple of surfs,falling off her board,remembering some extremely poorly shot bang on the head(as aforementioned)which only helps to add to your mounting hatrid and confusion at the appalinging film.Then she gets back up and surfs again....the dry,horribly annoying and tedious repetetiveness is the final straw.Even a red-blooded shallow male coming to watch surfing girls will be put off,even as she flops around durmbly.Even a surfing fanatic will be disgusted,even insulted,at this terrible movie.I wanted,I needed,to walk out of the movie. Maybe it's my male nature to intensely dislike this kind of horror,or maybe its my dislike for horribly repetetive sports films,especially like here where they get bemusingly technical.I found out,to my relief that I was not alone.My Partner was embarrased at her blunder,which I was against from before I heard it was a romance film. There is very little that I can say was good about this film.Maybe the wonderful Hawaiin backdrop,the calm water and white beaches.But its spoiled when you seem Anne-Marie and her football friend squatting by the palms.The film was doomed,to me,before I saw it and by the end I found myself realising it was the worst film I had ever seen.Giving this more than 0.1 is severe breach of sanity,and my only adivce to you is avoid it like the plague.Its shoddy,shallow,boring,repetetive,patronising,annoying and an all round crap of a film.I have to lay it on harsh for this one-it is one of the worst films in existence.Shallow People,Surfers,people who like to see girl-lead movies(which this blatantly patronises and degrades),and everyone else,I advise to leave this alone.