The remorselessly embarrassing self-pity of a remorseless man.

Rating: 6/10 (4 September 2003)

This is a well-acted movie with some truly brilliant make-up work, but it's a ludicrously self-indulgent exercise in unconsciousness and self-pity. Viewers note that it is based on someone's memoirs - which doesn't necessarily make it a 'true story!'
George Jung (Johnny Depp) depicts himself as innocently stumbling into pot smuggling in late-'60's California. It's all in fun, and the only reason an upstanding guy like George skips bail after arrest is to be with his dying girlfriend (Franka Potente), sniff sniff... However he still winds up in prison, where while teaching pot smuggling to the other inmates he meets Diego Delgado (Jordi Mollà), who introduces him to the cocaine trade. The connection introduces him to the notorious South American psycopath and drug kingpin Pablo Escobar (Cliff Curtis), who, Jung feels, respects him as a person. Jung implies that he interceded with Escobar on behalf of Delgado - what a swell guy! However Jung makes something of a faux pas when he runs off with the fiance (Penelope Cruz) of colleague Augusto (Miguel Sandoval) - true love and all that, you know, but those Columbians have a peculiar code about such things! This, Jung feels, explains why Delgado betrays him by starting a competing cocaine business - what other reason COULD there be? Augusto has Jung beaten when he tries to intervene - Delgado is shown listening with a tear in his eye! As if Jung hadn't been betrayed enough, it turns out that new wife Mirtha (Cruz) is just not the caliber of dead girlfriend Barbara, sigh! When the Panamanian government siezes Jung's bank account (those crooks!), we can see trouble ahead for poor George.
This dirty business is discussed without any real sense of remorse by Our Hero. Oh yeah, whatever DID become of Tuna (Ethan Supplee)? Oh never mind, listen to poor GEORGE'S problems! The moment when California drug-pusher Derek Foreal (Paul Rubens) tells George, "I guess I forgot who my REAL friends were" left me unsure as to whether laugh or vomit. Jeez, why DOESN'T this poor martyr receive more prison visits? (Sound of swelling violins...)
You may or may not enjoy this movie - a keen sense of irony will help!