This year's worst movie so far

Rating: 1/10 (2 May 2007)

First let me get this straight: This production has nothing to do with art. It is about moneymaking and moneymaking only.
There are no clever jokes here; this movie's definition of fun resembles the word "straight" in the first line I wrote being torn out of context and used in a practical situation. Every supposed laugh is based on clichéd gagging and tired stereotypes. This movie even bypasses logic, when needed, to give way to these "jokes". Some kind of "sex addict" (I didn't make that up; the movie actually makes use of this given) who can skate with the best but is at the same time dramatically out of shape? Sounds awesome!
Also, how exactly is it "funny" that a guy like him skates the way he does? Where does it make sense that in figure skating, a macho with sex appeal but without any skating techniques wins prizes?
The movie spends no time on character development, except for the hideous scene where the awesome sex addict explains how he got his tattoos - this of course will turn out to score high numbers on the scale of all-time idiocy. It also flat out screams 'homophobic'. The antagonists (stereotyped gayish brother and sister, where everything gay = evil/bad/unworthy of success and needs to be defeated...) are horrendously designed and perform miserably.
The plot is non-existent: two guys who can't stand each other (but can relate anyway due to one thing they have in common) end up doing two things:
-either liking or disliking the other -either winning or losing a final showdown
What ever will it be?! Can you stand the tension???
The script for this disaster is thus pure lameness and doesn't care about morale or reason. If I were gay, I'd feel insulted by this movie. If I were a figure skater, I would feel insulted by this movie. If I were Korean, I'd feel insulted. If I were human, I'd feel insulted. Oh.
I hate this production from the bottom of my heart. Just when I thought I knew what lame was, I saw this and wow, I didn't know lame looked like two idiots getting paid lots of money for pretending to be skaters and doing other dumb stuff nobody cares about? Thanks for pointing this out Will Ferell!
If you wanna see this kind of movie done right, go see "Stuck on you". It isn't perfect but it is fun and has class.