Bland Runner 2049

Rating: 2/10 (12 October 2017)

If this review reads like an open letter to Sir Ridley, then great. Because it is. I am disappointed on so many levels with this film I just don't know where to start. Harrison Ford. Ugh. I remember Deckard as a cool, tough, cerebral character with ice in his veins. Ford is now his character Rusty Sabich in Presumed Innocent; neurotic, weak, nervous. He looks like he is going to cry at any moment or have an alcoholic withdrawal seizure. He is exhausting to watch. Ford, as he ages, is overreaching every role he has, maybe because it may be his last. I don't know. But I don't have the stomach for nervous, weak, over-acted roles. The beautiful cinematography and music are begging for a mysterious, equally elegant protagonist, only to leave us empty handed. A real shame. And things just go down hill from here in an agonizing 2 hrs 45 min (this mess could have been done in 1:30). Much like Alien: Covenant, there are no likable characters save for Dave Bautista, the only real talent in this film. Which brings me to Sir Ridley, who has become one of the biggest disappointments in my cinematic world. He has sold out his abilities to the demands of the dullard citizens of the United States of KardashAmerica. He has sacrificed great character building and moving themes for flash, shock, and awe (ala Prometheus and Alien: Covenant). Blade Runner (the original) has a very linear, simple, and elegant story. We felt attached and alike in some way to all of the multi-faceted characters. It was a fascinating film. Here, Scott is racing at 200 mph down the PCH, trying to keep up with the likes of other non-linear, self-annointed heroes like Christopher Nolan, only to crash his 2049 jalopy into the surf in Malibu, and he has perished in the mangled heap that has become his product. This is not the old Ridley we used to love. He didn't need to keep up with anyone. Ridley used to be the yardstick. He has sold out to the big Hollywood execs and has chosen to satiate the dull, witless 98% of our population. The only good thing to come of this is that it is so wildly different from the original that the connection will never be made, and thereby will not, and cannot, corrupt the original. There was so much potential here and lots to work with, and all was wasted. If you watched the 3 short films that filled in the gaps in the 30 years between stories (which are really great and are available on YouTube) you may have been just as anxious for this film as I was. And just as let down. Way to tarnish your illustrious career, Sir Ridley. I am very, very disappointed.