This Film Makes a Snail Seem Like a Ferrari

Rating: 3/10 (7 November 2017)

I don't necessarily seek the relentless and often pointless action of many of today's films. I like a good story, perhaps some time for introspection. This film was not it, this flick was just painfully S-L-O-W! I'm sure Profs in film class are oohing and aahing, but bottom-line, regardless of what anyone says... too damn slow. I was waiting for "K" too stop by an ice cream stand and when asked if he wanted chocolate or vanilla to stare into space and that overly loud music to play for ten minutes while he contemplated his answer. Two minutes is an arguable pause, ten is overkill. K and the story elements are just not that deep. Maybe if they'd lengthened all the slow parts and made this movie 5 hours, it would have been twice as good? I mean as hard as this flick tried to be innovative, the're going over the old "replicants (robots, androids, avatars) are people too" saw. Darn shame, this film had a lot of good things going for it. The acting, including Gosling, was fine. The special effects were decent and then there's the nostalgia factor, at least 3 attractive-Kick- ass ladies,and Harrison Ford.
One thing that was missing in the original, which I really liked was the narration by the protagonist. That and the location gave the original a hard-boiled and gritty feel. I missed that with this one almost as much as I missed even a hint of pace. I wonder if they tried having Gosling narrate or Ford or...both? That would have been an interesting way to tell this story. Instead I watched my biggest movie disappointment ever!