Fake Runner 2049

Rating: 3/10 (27 December 2017)

I haven't been to a movie theatre in almost 4 years after Spiderman 2 made me want to buy his costume and hide out forever. There are some things that are sacred to me: Jazz, Mexican food, and classic movies like the original Blade Runner. I was sold on the idea of a sequel of Blade Runner by the false advertising that Harrison Ford would appear in this sequel. This felt like a Journey concert without Steve Perry at the helm, like a 2Pac hologram @ Coachella. This movie felt like a great jazz record being played at the wrong speed and degrading the whole experience. This is a movie who's parts are greater than the whole: beautifully designed and shot but lacking in the story telling department. The sustained shots of hands, the back of heads, etc. made me want to clone myself and just drive to Mars for some Red Dirt. How the hell does Joe find Harrison Ford and the cloned chick after he's shown walking the streets while interacting with a hologram prostitute? In the most critical part of the movie we are supposed to believe that Joe happened to find an open Budget car rental with a built in tracker for Deckard? Really? And if that wasn't offensive enough, the greatest line in the movie is the cloned chick's line: "I am the best"? I guess this movie was as offensive as finding a hair, a fly in a fine French meal. Do yourself a big favor and just Run(ner) to another movie! Maybe the original is as good as it gets.