Such a disappointment

Rating: 3/10 (20 January 2019)

This is a review of the DIRECTOR'S CUT or EXTENDED CUT of this film. I have not seen the theatrical release.
Let me first say, I REALLY wanted to like this movie. I love films that take time to build mood and atmosphere, I love the "cyberpunk" setting (which I understand this film was a pioneer of in many respects, so to that, I give it credit), and I love films that aren't afraid to dive into deeper philosophical waters. So why did I walk away so bitterly disappointed?
The film starts out promising - the world that serves as the backdrop for this story is beautifully crafted and visually stunning, and the soundtrack only adds to its shadowy intrigue. We are introduced to Replicants, A.I. that are essentially on par with humans as far as intelligence and appearance, as well as the Blade Runners that hunt them when they "go rogue". We are also introduced to the film's most interesting character, Rachel, a Replicant who has had false memories programmed into her and believes herself to be human. Unfortunately, although Rachel and Deckard's interactions comprise the most interesting parts of the movie, they take up very little screen time.
INSTEAD, the film follows Deckard around as he orders food, looks disgruntled while sitting in a bar, questions people, and finally tracks down four different rogue replicants. This is where I realized the film wasn't going anywhere: there's a shortage of compelling or realistic characters. Each character in this film felt either uninspired or REALLY hammy. The first replicant Deckard finds is posing as an exotic dancer (got to keep your audience's attention somehow, right?) and after a brief chase is shot down. It's a scene that I'm sure was supposed to make me question Deckard's morality as well as the humanity of replicants, but because I was so uninvested in both of the characters I really didn't care and found the whole scene as a gimmicky attempt to try to elicit audience emotion.
Another replicant who is equally uninteresting runs around with all the nuance of a WWE performer until he's prompty shot, while the other two replicants who take up much of the remaining screen time are god-awful. There's a former hooker android who convinces a Tyrell employee to take her home and then proceeds to dress up like a coked out David Bowie who got lost in a Hot Topic. Of course, the house she hides in is littered with "creepy" dolls and clown robots - there's even robots dressed up as militarized clowns who welcome them at the door. It felt like a really uninspired and silly attempt to try to create something unsettling or distinct. The hooker goth replicant eventually changes up her style and dresses up like a doll to try to trick Deckard (who could have seen THAT coming?!) and then backflips around the room like a lunatic before she's unceremonious shot a bunch of times. It was hilarious.
The final replicant felt like a waste. His story has so much potential - an android who's trying to locate his creator in order to override his cruelly truncated lifespan - but NOPE, forget subtlety, lets dress him like a 40-year-old who's trying out for an Alternative Rock band and have him deliver his lines like a caricature of a Hollywood villain. The ending was laughably bad. The replicant is running around like a melodramatic weirdo, chasing Deckard around, shoving his head through walls with no purpose other than to deliver ridiculous dialogue, jumping around the rooftop in just a pair of jean-shorts- and it all culminates in the laziest attempt at symbolism I've seen in a long time: he literally shoves a nail through one hand and grabs a wild dove in the other, then proceeds to run around like that (yes, dove in hand like a g-dd-amm werido) for the last 5 minutes of his scenes until he dies. Yup. SO LONG, DOVE WIELDING ROOF-JUMPING EYELINER GUY, YOU'VE BEEN GREAT.
Overall I was really disappointed. I felt like this movie had an amazing premise and source material to draw from, fantastic visuals, lighting, soundtrack, etc, - but BOY did they miss the mark with what actually mattered. Maybe I would have gotten more out of it if I had watched it 10, maybe 15 years ago when the idea of A.I. consciousness was a lot more novel, but unfortunately, I doubt even that would have saved it. What a bummer.