one trick cygnet

Rating: 3/10 (25 October 2010)

I say I have spoilers. There is probably only one thing to spoil as there is only one story: a performer becomes her art and is consumed by it. You can see the pitching. We will bring Swan Lake to the screen by having the protagonist/prima ballerina live out the story of the ballet in her own life. That seems fine but the story is for ballet not film. The film tells you, in case you did not know, what the story of the ballet is. So it takes someone of very limited perception not to work out that the mark on her back is her swan stigmata and she will transform into a swan.
So you know what will happen. Not always a bad thing. Now they have to get you to suspend disbelief and to care about the journey. Nina Sayers is a completely unattractive character so it is hard to care what happens to her. She is annoying and whining. She is unrealistically underdeveloped as a human being - self-pleasure is her departure point for the dark side. None of the other characters have any true depth or identifiable humanity. They are plot devices, stereotypes and ciphers.
The plot developments are unconvincing. You bit me so I will abandon my judgment as to your artistic abilities and make you the Swan Queen. The great lothario of the ballet is won over by a little bite. It just doesn't convince.
The horror parts are a little smorgasbord of frights with no consistent theme. I'm seeing my twin everywhere; I see things in mirrors; pictures are speaking to me. They are generic scary things but none of them have a coherent justification. They are just random symbols of the dark side, shrieky strident counterpoints. They can all be excused as the product of a deranged mind but they don't make for good story telling.
Vincent Cassel was supposed to be seductive. He wasn't. He was pure cheese himself (see the film - or not). Yes Portman's naive ballerina might have bought his cardboard sleazy take on seduction but not her menopausal predecessor(Winona Ryder).
Natalie Portman maintains one facial expression or rather non-expression for most of the film. It all adds up to making her impossible to watch without sighing in boredom. Well the desire to slap her was evoked. Only an actress like Meryl Streep can carry a film where the focus is so much on her face. And sadly most of the focus has to be on her face especially during the dance sequences. To add to the irritation she makes on ooh ooh noise throughout the film. I am not enough of an ornithologist to know if this was a remarkable imitation of a swan in pain and therefore worthy of a feathery Oscar.
And the greatest absurdity is when she develops gooseflesh whilst having lesbian sex. (Oh yes I know it should be swan flesh but turning into a turkey would be just as accurate a description.) I am afraid the association that was in my mind was Jennifer Lopez and turkey time. Maybe Ooh Ooh is the graceful swan version of Gobble Gobble.
Overall it really was a film for Tom and Jerry - the two guys she screws who have never even heard of the ballet. Even Tchaikovsky's score was cheapened when it no longer accompanied ballet but these trite transpositions of the story.