Why I didn't love this particular film

Rating: Null/10 (12 August 2002)

To call it a stinker is to garnish it in fragrance. Technically (assuming you don't include the template script) it's great. Big deal. Dull, insipidly jingoistic script is flooded with every wet clichÃ© in the book. Unfortunately it's a very fat book, and no page is left unturned. It made me pray for a September 12th, 13th and 14th, with on option on 28 more days. Ridley Scott has sprayed his beard and tongue with a velvet coat, and over a miserably unendurable 2hrs.15mins proceeds to slide both very slowly up America's anal canals.