Birdman = Turdman

Rating: 1/10 (23 February 2015)

I am a native Angelino so I have a great affection for Hollywood. It has given us so many wonderful films. But within the industry there is a fetish for a certain type of film that is either about the industry itself, about acting, or about theater. These films are almost always lauded by critics and Hollywood itself, winning awards and praise. But what they lack is an audience. Because no one but Hollywood likes them. They are unfailingly boring, empty and pointless movies.
Birdman is such a film. Happily I did not waste money actually seeing it but read the script after it won for Best Screenplay. I'd already fingered it for a stinker "Hollywood" film but thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe the script would be mind-blowingly beautiful. Maybe I was missing out.
Although I wanted to stop 2 pages in, I kept going. Halfway through the script I told myself to stop the misery, but still pushed on. I kept hoping it wasn't really going to be this bad all the way through. But no. It was. Pointless boredom to the very last smash-cut to black. It is exactly the kind of movie it looks to be by reading the synopsis... or the first page of the script A Hollywood artsy farsty film minus much art and with extra fart. Bird fart.
So if you are tempted to waste money on this film, I would urge you to read the first 10 pages of the screenplay first. If that excites you, you will like the movie, so drop the script and pick up your wallet. If it doesn't, do yourself a favor and watch an old favorite movie instead.