A surprisingly uninspired, low-grade thriller especially considering its reputation and popularity.

Rating: 4/10 (25 March 2019)

With the feverish hype surrounding its release I had been curious about Bird Box since it first hit Netflix, but the presence of the profoundly irritating Sandra Bullock had kept me at bay until I finally gave in. I wish I hadn't...
It's an intriguing high-concept plot that has elements of Lovecraft or Stephen King and the film does a somewhat efficient job of diving into the action without much delay but things quickly go south. Bird Box has little more to offer than a cast of laughably stereotypical characters divined from the greyest of cardboard and a host of jaw-droppingly predictable story beats. There is some unintentional fun to be had watching John Malkovich chewing on the scenery but this is essentially just a derivative star vehicle, which oscillates between dull and mediocre for two whole hours. With a better director at the helm and a ruthless rewrite of the script, a fun 90-minute B-movie could have been extracted; Sarah Paulson in the lead suggests a far more palatable film.
This will probably appeal to Bullock fans (I feel bad for you) and the undemanding, but for most viewers this will disappoint and bore in equal measure. Netflix continues to swell the ranks of a largely unremarkable catalogue of self-produced films that, 15 years ago, would have been relegated to a twilight slot on Channel 5 - sandwiched between repeat episodes of Hex and the Red Shoe Diaries. If the end of civilisation is your thing, there are countless better films out there.
4.5/10