They think you are a moron!

Rating: 1/10 (28 December 2018)

The people who made this film think you are stupid. They think you are stupid because the story ignores basic realities yet remains grounded in a mundane present. How about you grab two kids under each arm, and run blindfolded through a forest. What do you think would happen to you and the kids? The makers of this movie show the main character doing this and falling over just once, never bumping in a tree, getting stuck in a bush and the kids are all fine after being crushed by the main character. No pants with bloodied shins or dirty knees for the entire 2h film?!? Obviously, the people who made this film think you're stupid! No scraped hands? No bloodied foreheads? No broken legs? They think you're stupid! They think you're stupid because they try to convince you that going blind overnight is not a problem and can be easily be solved by simply relying on your GPS to get you and your car to the grocery store. They think you're stupid because the car gets back to the garage after a blindfolded drive to and from the grocery store without a hitch. In the mundane present of the movie, GPS' know where curbs and lampposts are located, it tracks street lanes, and maps while mall parking lots. They think you are stupid because this is obviously nonsensical horsedoodoo! They think you're stupid because they want to convince you the the GPS is a magical device that tells you where mall doors are located and where your house's garage door begins and ends. They think you are stupid because they want you to believe that a blindfolded woman in a boat with two kids can fight off and kill a grown man (not blindfolded) with a machete! So many more inconsistencies and wildly implausible (read impossible) scenes make it difficult to see this as a drama. It's more a comedy of errors.
They think you're stupid because the whole end-reveal is giving the kids names, and giving you an ending that resolves and reveals NOTHING! The movie is directed by a woman who has virtually done only romance movies - she should stick to that!
I watch tons of movies. I love sci-fi, end-of-the-world scenarios, and weird flicks that challenge the imagination. Bird Box is not that. It's just a badly executed rom-drama film that treats its audience as if they are stupid morons who can't think for themselves and will unquestioningly gobble-up whatever they are fed. It's by far the worst movie I've watched in 2018 and, at the risk of repeating myself, I watched hundreds of films this year.
I'm the redhead from the scene where Malorie leaves the hospital at the beginning of the film: I've seen an evil monstrosity -Bird Box- and I can't unsee it, I can't go back to the way things were, and I'm still pounding my head bloody against the glass wall!