Don't Look, You May Not Like What You See

Rating: 1/10 (22 December 2018)

If this were the first film of it's kind, it would still be unoriginal. The unseen monster is not a new idea in story telling, nor is having no ultimate meaning or purposeful intent. There are no spoilers here, that's the conceit. We can retitle this "Don't look Mrs. Lot".
Let's consider the qualities of the films makeup:
1. cinematography is adequate, like the work of a cameraman who has made films for television with limited resources. The multitudes of closeups and quick edits obscure the lack of uninteresting scenes, a trick borrowed from low budget television. I think the TV series "Lost" had better photography.
2. The sound is actually high fidelity. That said, it plays with the same intensity as it did in the last ten thousand horror films. It acts as a cover for dead scenes and pablum dialogue. In short, unoriginal.
3. The acting, which has been hailed as fantastic, is true hack work. Bullock and Malkovich could have phoned it in. Hack: "A cheap, mediocre, or second-rate practitioner, especially in the fields of literature and the arts". I would have preferred unknowns with potential, than reprisals of every character these two have played before. It must have taken them minutes to prepare for their roles.
4. The worst part is the story, dialogue and screenplay. Josh Malerman's book wasn't even that good to start with. The "Bird Box" was a first novel by a rock musician. Go figure. As I've said, the premise is unoriginal, the characters are thinly drawn, and the dialogue is just lubrication for a rusty script. "Hold on, hold on,. . . hold on . . . jump please . . . jump . . . over here girls, " You get the picture.
Overall, the comparisons to M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" are apt. It's equally drawn out and unsatisfying in the end. There is no there there. . .
Comparisons to "The Quiet Place" are unfair. The "Quiet Place" was far more engaging, had solid cinematography and a very original soundtrack to instill fear. Though that film wasn't too deep either, it's portrayal of family bonds and the fall of humanity were at least touching. In contrast, here we root for many of the annoying characters to die.
Lastly, there are alot of shill reviews about this movie. Shill: "an accomplice of a hawker, who acts as an enthusiastic customer to entice or encourage others". The glowing reviews appear canned and absurd, even if they enjoyed it as film fodder, their one paragraph enthusiasm is clearly insincere. I encourage you to be harsh in your ratings to counteract this ploy to raise this films overall score.
In the end, this horror film is a simulacrum: "an unsatisfactory imitation or substitute". Example: The "Bird Box" is a bland simulacrum of an original horror story.
This might has well be likened to a modern ghost story, with an unseen entity from beyond, not knowing where it came from or what it wants. Meh . . .