Instead of making a night of this, take a Tylenol PM and watch CNN, it'll be more apocalyptic

Rating: 3/10 (4 January 2019)

The beginning opens with Sandra Bullock screaming the rules of the universe at her children. Clever device for exposition.
Too bad it quickly devolves into a clunky mess of end of the world tropes.
There is almost no value in this movie other than that they hired a diverse cast to sit around a house and be totally safe from a demon creature that might just be noisy wind. Half of this movie is spent watching Malorie and Tom say flirty things to each other in a way that somehow lacks much chemistry, while John Malkovich (would be Trumper- "make the end of the world great again!" Get it! He's a jerk! We should write him off cause he has a gun and drinks) has a gun and drinks. There's also the alternate cast of the Walking Dead doing next to nothing and the awesome TSA agent from Get Out spouting exposition about Zoroastrian Apocalypse gods. But don't worry, it's not all bad. There is a bit of time where you think Malorie is gonna have a Sophie's Choice moment in the river leading up to the rapids which was nice to see that the movie was about to have ANYTHING to say about anything, but then when the hard choice comes, she makes a non choice and everyone's fine.
These are all the movies that this movie stole from that are better:
-This is the End
-The Road
-A Quiet Place
-Deliverance
-The Mist
It also stole from:
-The Happening (not better but at least you'd have fun drinking to it)
Sandra Bullock's character has no pony in this race. She's an artist with nothing to say other than "human connection is dead" and then later when the other pregnant lady tries to make a human connection she walks out of the room. She refused to even name her children (but it's okay because one of them is adopted so she doesn't need to love it- but at least that would be interesting if there was anything behind it. See note about Sophie's Non-Choice above.
Dumb movie. Waste of money. Waste of talented actors. At least the M Night moment was about blind people and not that she was crazy. Would have been better if the blind people gouged out their eyes at the end in a delicious "now you'll be safe for ever" moment but hey, they had to get this out while you still remembered that A Quiet Place was a movie so you can make Bird Box/Quiet Place crossover memes.