Bird Crap Box

Rating: 2/10 (30 December 2018)

I thought Bird Box was bloody awful. I mean, it's basically a bad hybrid of The Happening and A Quiet Place. There was so much ridiculousness to it. The two women just so happen to go in labour at exactly the same time while that guy messes up everything at the same time too? Did that seriously bother nobody else? They later find out the birds detect whenever that thing is close, so why do they need to wear the blindfolds all the time? So dumb!
The characters were getting themselves into peril constantly or not listening to instructions, the acting was weak (John Malkovich is probably the best thing in the movie, though), the flashback river sections in between were boring, the kids are never given names and are called "Boy" and "Girl" despite the mother keeping them alive for five whole goddamn years somehow. Everything was just so poorly contrived. Why bother having a bird box if you aren't going to use it?
Nothing is explained and the ending, well was that really an ending? Living happily ever after with the blind? What about those things? You never find out exactly what they are! Some of these points I could look past if the movie was entertaining, but it was just so dull. I can't even like it in a "so bad it's good" way like The Happening. This sucked bird poop!
2/10