Big Waste

Rating: Null/10 (11 January 2004)

Big Fish is a film so startlingly awful that I wonder how it ever got made. Tim Burton, the one-time imaginative director of such films as "Batman," "Beetlejuice," and "Edward Scissorhands," has evidently lost whatever talent he once had. After this and his mind-numbing "Planet of the Apes" remake, I strongly urge Mr. Burton to retire, or at least take a LONG vacation.
Albert Finney stars as Edward Bloom, a dying man with a lifetime's worth of tall tales. Billy Crudup is his son attempting to separate the fact from the fiction. Unfortunately this involves long, pointless, confusing flashback/fable sequences starring Ewan McGregor (with the world's worst "Southern" accent) as a young Ed Bloom. The result is a mess of a movie that is neither entertaining nor enlightening, not funny or dramatic, not even bold enough to leave you with a lasting impression.
The direction is so derivative of other popular films/styles it is embarrassing to watch. There are changing-era soundtrack songs as we move through the years, including Buddy Holly's "Everyday" (used first and more effectively in Rob Reiner's "Stand By Me"), Elvis Presley's "All Shook Up" (used in countless films including "Honeymoon In Vegas") and the astoundingly trite "Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers, used too often to name. As the years go by and the jukebox plays one cannot help but be reminded of the similarities to Robert Zemeckis' "Forrest Gump." And of course there are the obligatory Matrix-styled special effects- used absolutely unnecessarily- in which time freezes (!)
During attempted comedic sequences one gets the feeling that Burton has been influenced by the Coen Brother's "O Brother, Where Art Thou." Despite a handful of moments obviously intended to be funny I heard few laughs in the packed theater, and never laughed myself.
Then there are the tall tales themselves... clichéd, predictable and oddly flat. Meeting a giant and seeing a vision of your own death sound exciting on paper but these moments are rendered meaningless in the film. Wasted are such great actors as Jessica Lange, Danny DeVito, Helena Bonham Carter and Steve Buscemi.
My advice to anyone reading this review is to avoid the film at all costs, because I can guarantee you will be disappointed. See another movie, rent a classic or even an old favorite... do anything but waste two hours on this cinematic dead-end. Big Fish is a dull, derivative, uninspired effort from a director who once had the ability to shock, excite and entertain me. Now he only puts me to sleep.
GRADE: F
EDIT: This movie was so depressing it drained the life out of me. Now, years later, it has come to light that the film may actually have contributed to the death of actor/monologuist Spalding Gray. After seeing the film he left the theater, sent his family home, and committed suicide by jumping off the Staten Island Ferry. Look it up if you don't believe me... that's the kind of karma this movie has. Enough said.