Awful

Rating: Null/10 (3 March 2004)

From the imagination of director Tim Burton. Please, make it stop. An adventure as big as life itself. What have we done to deserve this? Ewan McGregor plays a young man, with Albert Finney playing his older self. They compete to see who can do the worst Alabama accent. It's a close thing, but I think Ewan just wins it. Billy Crudup (change your name - it's awful) plays the man's son. For fans of balls-achingly dismal acting, he's something special. Sentimental nonsense from beginning to end, "Big Fish" is also "heartwarming" and "magical". Or, to put it another way, there are two (TWO) funeral scenes at the climax, one of them imaginary, where everyone from the geezer's life turns up to smile inanely, and one real, where everyone from the geezer's life turns up to smile inanely. And how about the "jerk" whom Ewan beats at everything (football, basketball, science, love)? There is no evidence that he is a jerk, just that he's not as good at football, basketball, science and love as Ewan. We have to accept Ewan's word that he is a jerk. Me, I was rooting him for him when he was smashing Ewan's face to a pulp. And what the **** is Helena Bonham Carter doing in this? Along with Jessica Lange, HBC provides an oasis of calm, unshowy acting amid the uncontrolled hysteria, in-jokes, cameo appearances and oh-how-wacky zaniness of the rest. If you can stand this slop, then you are welcome to it.