The first question is: Why?

Rating: 3/10 (21 November 2007)

The entire time I was in the theater watching this abomination I was wondering why? what for? Why is this story so vastly different than the story that "has lived on forever" as many of the characters say in the film? Why are we given gratuitous '3D' shots without any '3D'? Why don't they just show his wang already? I don't think it is a spoiler that Beowulf appears naked in this film about 90% of the time. And if that prevents you from seeing it I've done my job. There is essentially no reason for this film to exist. All it does is crams a ridiculous amount of cliché's into a story that was before cliché. And, oh yeah, Beowulf says "I am Beowulf" like 6 times. I guess in case you forgot the name of the guy who is the lead in the oldest English story ever told. This film is a waste of time. The sad thing is you get the feeling that the people working on the film really loved the old story but due to the pressure to make money fit it into the Hollywood mould like a square peg into a circle hole. It didn't work guys but you sure did cram it in there.