Like watching dead people act.

Rating: 4/10 (26 November 2007)

I went into this movie totally cold, and there were no beginning credits... it wasn't until the end when "directed by Robert Zemeckis" popped up when everything clicked. It's like the awful POLAR EXPRESS all over again, with more of the same creepily realistic 3D Animated characters trying to sub in for real actors. With this movie, they get dangerously close to convincing (in some shots), but there's still something not right. The characters are beautifully animated and detailed, but lacking the life that real human actors would have... instead looking like a bunch of reanimated corpses interacting with each other. The effect is interesting in that it's a momentarily unique visual style (as SIN CITY and 300 were) but unsettling and overall quite useless and underwhelming when the big action sequences look just as cartoonish and fake as anything from CGI fest films made over a decade ago.
The plot is pretty awful too, with a decent though padded and drawn out first half that follows the book fairly well. About midway through, the film drastically changes direction and adds a whole 'nother act which is boringly paced and has a few plot "twists" that anyone should see long before they are revealed. Actually, the whole second half of the movie is a virtual remake of Scorsese's LAST TEMPTATION OF Christ with Beowulf instead coming to a crossroad decision involving a lusty maiden.
...which brings me to Angelina Jolie. What is so damn irresistible about her? She returns as basically the same gratingly abrasive character she played in Alexander, same awful vampire accent and everything. Hey scenes are awfully steamy and erotic for a PG-13 rated film, not that I have anything against it, but I wouldn't be too thrilled about my kids seeing it. The gore is also quite needlessly grotesque. As much as I like seeing people getting rended and disemboweled, this film crosses the line especially with Grendel's appearance and actions. A whiny rotting zombie/ogre exposed eardrum that throbs is not something I'm particularly excited about seeing.
Also, why would a dragon have such a puny heart? And what was that life-size Academy Award doing lying on the beach?