Beowoof

Rating: 1/10 (9 December 2007)

This is a dog of a movie. I wasn't put off by the CG or Beowulf's bare, digitally rendered ass. No, what I did have a problem with is that the first hour of the film could have easily been summed up in a two to three minute minute montage. Instead, what we got was a pointless exercise with barely emotional characters, incredibly loud screaming and lots of pointless scenes of Beowulf sitting around doing nothing. In short, there is action in the movie to be sure, but it is very little. There is just far too much talking and not enough doing. Beowulf is not the deep and intriguing character he was portrayed as in the books. In this movie there is very little we know about his background. I don't think anyone will find themselves excited by seeing a naked CGI man jumping around fighting with a giant troll then meeting with Angelina Jolie, who is naked except for some gold paint. As for the climax? Well hopefully you were wise enough to not ignore my warning and not go see this mess. It's certainly not the worst movie ever by a very long shot, but considering it's potential, it could have been a lot better.