simply hilarious

Rating: 2/10 (5 April 2009)

i couldn't even watch the whole thing on HBO - i was too tired to waste my time any longer. most negative comments complain about "not following the storyline of the poem". well, I haven't read the poem. and the movie still is a great disappointment. the plot and the dialogues are far worse than the version from 1999 with Cristophe Lambert (a movie with a 3,6 rating and deserving it) the only good thing about the whole experience: a few touching lines from Grendel. Beowulf himself was so damn hilarious. And naked. Almost all the time. For no obvious reason. The "shadow" covering his genitals - common means to hide inappropriate sights in anime for example, is frustratingly misplaced in a realistic 3D. If they were so ashamed, why not give him a pair of viking pants. The dialogues were incredibly lame and funny, like they were written (and performed) by nerdy 13-year-old gamers trying to burlesque Manowar. Grendel's mum was also hilarious. I still can't imagine why in the world did Angelina say "yes" to take part in this. Or Antony Hopkins. Or Malkovich or any of the other great (and not so great) actors starring in that ridiculous excuse for an epic movie. Anyway, I was talking about Grendel's mum. So... alright, she was ridiculous (and 3D-made Angelina doesn't have even half of the sex appeal of the normal ms. Jolie.) She had high heels, alright. Coming out of her bare feet. Can you possibly imagine just how funny that looks? Anyway, soon after the appearance of the gold-painted reptile known as "Grendel's Mother" my patience was exhausted and I switched the channel... If something grand and really worth watching happened afterwards: than I beg forgiveness for writing this... But, honestly, I really doubt that.