Horrible Epic.

Rating: 2/10 (6 January 2016)

Beowulf (2007): Dir: Robert Zemeckis / Cast: Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright, Angelina Jolie, Crispin Glover: Total suck fest about a man of great strength named Beowulf who arrives to slay the feared monster Grendel. Setup works given an interrupted celebration that unfortunately didn't involve shutting down the film. Director Robert Zemeckis sinks with pitiful dialogue, formula storytelling, a laughable conclusion, and special effects that are about as festive as an outdoor toilet. This is a major disappointment for the director who made Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Ray Winstone constantly bellows, "I am Beowulf!" as if he's trying to convince himself. Didn't anyone realize how ridiculous this looked? Anthony Hopkins plays the regretful drunken King who pays for his earlier actions. It is the one passable performance in the film. Robin Wright basically sits and looks pretty. We can at least be thankful that she isn't yelling out Beowulf's name. Crispin Glover plays the monster Grendel. Finally Angelina Jolie as the marketing payoff as Grendel's mother who seeks revenge but not before trying to seduce Beowulf thus teasing the audience. Message of heroism is not evident in the laughable delivery but what is evident is that Zemeckis may need a stiff drink after this one. Score: 2 ½ / 10