Classic Literature Dumbed Down Horribly

Rating: 5/10 (25 November 2007)

Beowulf is a tale that has sparked great debate and was on of J.R.R. Tolkien's inspirations for the Lord of the Rings. It's a tale that deals with monsters and myth and interestingly, a world that is both Christian and Pagan. It's a story just as interesting today as it was all those centuries ago. This movie however is the anti-Beowulf picture.
Zemeckis undoubtedly saw the far superior Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and decided that he too could do a PG-13. CGI has come a long way since Toy Story and Shrek. With video games becoming the far more common and popular media, there is a large audience interested in CGI and so forth. On what could have been a great outing, this picture is turned to trash.
Our film starts sour from the beginning with the opening the hall of Herot by King Hrothgar. Were treated to a almost naked CGI version of Anthony Hopkins (Like anyone under 65 wants to see that anyway.) Drunkenly pretend to be funny and create filler. When everything seems like it hasn't dragged on enough, Grendel appears.
There's no real description of Grendel in text other than being a large monster however this CGI trash is nothing more than a super deformed giant blue child. It's hardly scary nor interesting. He just kills a few people and we move on to Beowulf coming.
Now, the CGI is great and there are times for example with Angelina Jolie's character, its almost lifelike and hard to tell whether they super imposed her head or merely did a CGI reconstruction of her face. The action sequences save for the end are hardly memorable. Beowulf being completely naked during the fight with Grendel becomes a game of hide Beowulf's penis. The epic sea serpent battle feels about as fake as sea monsters really are.
What could have saved the film would have been the second arc of the play where Beowulf goes after Grendel's mother. This epic departure from the text arguably and undoubtedly ruins the entire movie. Instead of engaging in an epic underwater fight with Grendel's mother, Beowulf is simply seduced by her and gives her a child. It's unsure what influence Angelina Jolie had and what the director wanted but this sudden rewriting of Jolie's role turns the movie upside down.
Were treated to a dull third arc that culminates with Beowulf's dry love affair with another maiden and the consequences of his one night stand with Grendel's nameless mother. The dragon for the finale was especially well down however, the revelation that its Beowulf's son is hardly realized until after the dragon is dead. Wiglaf, a minor player at the end of the text is barely added in and hardly helps.
If you love classic literature, stay away. If you hate dull characters, stay away. If you hate pointless sexual references, stay away. If you want comedy, action or something to remember, stay away. Angelina Jolie has hardly any real time in this picture. There's no faithfulness to the original epic which makes you ironically wish Beowulf would die. My congratulations to the team behind this.
CGI can be great, CGI can be revolutionary, however, this attempt just hinders the genre and makes action movies as a whole full of pointless violence that isn't even entertaining or exciting. You'll leave wishing you had chosen a better movie. Walk away please. With films like The Golden Compass coming soon, its better to stay home than waste your money.