Beautiful CG, but not much else.

Rating: 5/10 (14 June 2008)

Beowulf is a strange movie, not in a delightful "Guillermo del Toro" strange, but a "what is its purpose?" kind of strange. Norse mythology talks about one of man's first true heroes, a brave man named Beowulf who fought the devilish Grendel and finally a dragon and saved the Danes from complete destruction, so it's very clear that someone would pick up on the story of Beowulf and turn it into a movie, and a CG one at that is just great. And yet, CG animation is all the movie really has going for it, because everything else seems to fall short.
The movie never seems to take itself seriously, which is odd because there are a lot of gory, dark atmospheric scenes throughout. This might be the director trying different approaches to the story like the unknown writer of the original Beowulf text did, but unlike this ancient author, the director's approach between comedic and horrific scenes will just throw you off and make the movie feel very awkward. For instance, before the battle with Grendel, Beowulf strips himself of his armor and clothes, saying that since Grendel wears no armor, then neither would he since he likes a 'fair' fight. The battle afterward with a screaming Grendel and a nude Beowulf isn't very epic, mostly due to Beowulf's nudity, because it just becomes a distraction.
Beowulf also seems to have popped into theaters in the wrong century, because though it portrays how Norse men enjoy sex and beer and their superstitious ways, a lot of people in the audience won't understand a lot of it and will think negatively of it. Such is the scene when Beowulf is talking to his teenage bed maid, who is oh too happy to sleep with him. Many people think Beowulf is a pedophile for this, even though it was custom for kings of old to have one or two bed maids for them to sleep with when their queen wasn't in the mood.
It also doesn't help that some of the dialogue is just plain BAD. The script writers must have spent little time trying to make sophisticated lines for the characters. One line that was hilariously terrible was when the Danish queen is talking to Beowulf "Many heroes have come to taste my lord's golden mead...". The audience was LAUGHING at this and my friends and I had a good chuckle as well. There are times too, where you're wondering where Beowulf's sense of pride and valor is like when he, again, takes off his armor and reveals his chest to an enemy warrior, taunting him by shouting "Go on! Kill me! Kill me!" and the fact that he so easily succumbs to Grendel's mother's seduction. But then again, it's Angelina Jolie. How could he refuse?
Animation-wise, the movie is beautiful. I mean, the individual strands of hair on the characters, the lighting, shadows, and color of their environments, and terrific orchestral music really give you the feel of being back in ancient times. I just wish the acting was as good. Don't get me wrong, Ray Winstone does a good job in acting out the great Norse hero, though some scenes, he kind of over-acts like Beowulf's amazement at the beauty of the Danish queen in the Mead Hall.
However, Robin Wreight Penn doesn't do a very good job and you don't grow any kind of liking for her. Robin's acting is so robotic and emotionless that when she is attacked by the dragon at the end of the movie, you don't really have the kind of "Hurry, Beowulf! Save her!" tension going. Anthony Hopkins and Angelina Jolie, on the other hand, seem like they were born for their roles, but what can you expect from Anthony Hopkins?
I would like to say more, but IMDb's limit isn't going to let me. In the end, I'd say the movie, visually, is full of atmosphere and beauty, but like a Victoria's Secret model, there's not much substance underneath. Sure, the final battle with the golden dragon was awesome, but with a ridiculous build-up and a "what the heck were they thinking" cliff-hanger, yes a CLIFF-HANGER, ending, Beowulf just ends up being like a small pond during the spring, beautiful but shallow.