Demonic MILF

Rating: 6/10 (12 December 2007)

If you like faithful adaptations of literary classics, then you'll hate this movie. If, on the other hand, you like mindless violence, eye-popping 3D special effects, and Angelina Jolie (herself something of a 3D special effect), then you'll enjoy this movie. Zemeckis and co. have sexed up Beowulf, freely inventing infidelity and paternity issues that wouldn't look out of place on an Oprah episode. (Don't tell me you never wondered who Grendel's FATHER was.) There is some philosophical mumbo-jumbo about the coming of Christianity bringing an end to the age of heroes and monsters, but this is just undergraduate b.s. to fill screen time until the next fight scene breaks out. Not quite as ludicrous as 300, but not from want of trying. The mocap animation makes it look like the world's most expensive video game. Anthony Hopkins and John Malkovich are also in this big budget B-movie, looking rather sheepish; this may be the greatest waste of acting talent since CLASH OF THE TITANS.