Cheap thrills from the digital demon dollar tree

Rating: 2/10 (22 November 2007)

Reviewers rave about dolly shots impossible in live action, groundbreaking motion capture technology and previously unseen surface texture, but what's the point? Everybody goes on about how difficult it was to make this movie, and what a technical achievement it is. How come nobody ever asks why you would want your movie to look like a video game in the first place? Flames don't look one bit like flames, and the sea doesn't even come close to the real thing, let alone the wooden expressions and clumsy moves of the characters. Even the blue demon fire looks fake, no small feat given it has no counterpart in the real world. But the similarity with video games doesn't stop there. "Beowulf" is one long string of teenage macho fantasy dripping with blood, sweat, semen and megabytes. Except maybe for John Malkovich as a misanthropical early Christian, recognizable only by his wailing voice, it's a disgrace for everyone involved. I guess they needed the money.