Not The Best Beowulf

Rating: 5/10 (22 December 2013)

Let's face it, put Beowulf, one of the greatest classical poems, and Robert Zemickis, the man who brought us Back To The Future and The Polar Express, together, and you should have a darn fine film. Have freakin' NEIL GAIMAN write the screenplay, and you should have an Oscar contender. But, sadly, Beowulf falls flat. The first half follows the plot pretty well, with maybe a touch too much mature content, but after Beowulf slays Grendel, the film goes into its own idea of Beowulf. Turns out Grendel is Hrothgar's son by a scandalously clad monster-woman-thingy, and Grendel's mother wants Beowulf to give her a son. Remember that in the poem? Me neither. If this version of Beowulf had been live-action, it would have been a hard-R. Next time Hollywood takes on the Bear-Wolf, I want something better.