Ugh

Rating: 4/10 (26 March 2009)

I don't even know what to say about this movie. I'll try to capture my thoughts about it and put it down on this comment. First of all, this has to be one of the cheesiest movies ever made. I mean, seriously. It's about a guy who wants to kill his friend, but can't, because he's Charles Heston and that grin can convince anyone he wouldn't hurt a fly. Then, he gets sold to a slave, and is offered a job by a man, which he angrily turns away. Then, in the midst of battle, he realizes he should help this man instead of his shipmates, which are dying around him. And then at the end of the movie, his sick mother and sister are healed by the blood of Jesus Christ. What.The.Hell. Secondly, the acting is terrible. Charles Heston and Jack Hawkins look extremely out of place during all their scenes together. Charles Heston looks like the frickin guy from the Orbit commercials, and Jack Hawkins looks like the frickin guy from the Gatorade commercials. They are terribly directed, and we have to trust in the screenplay (which is, by the way, horrible) that they are (were) best friends! The whole movie is just Charles Heston going around, flashing his smiles here and there, growing a beard, and trying to act but looking more like the guy who provides comic-relief in any movie about making a play. You know, how they always throw in the guy who can't act, but looks really handsome and picks up all the babes. I think this movie is grossly overrated. And cheesy. And horribly directed. And horribly written. And horribly acted. Sorry.