No Electrons Were Harmed in the Making of this Film (spoilers)

Rating: 10/10 (12 May 2020)

The first movie I ever saw in the theater was the immortal BEN HUR. I was taken downtown to the Egyptian Theater in Ogden, Utah by my movie-loving parents, and the experience blew my five-year-old brains out. For years afterward, I wondered why The Egyptian didn't take down the decorations they had installed for Ben Hur. I also felt a compulsion to see any movie with a poster that looked like the one for Ben Hur. Ghenghis Khan. El Cid. Anything with giant letters crawling with historical figures drew my intense interest.
It's not really perfect, but I remember it that way. This movie has some pretty significant flaws--but they can be deliberately overlooked. Still, it takes some major overlooking not to notice that the horrible disfigurement of Ben Hur's mother and sister isn't... really... so... horrible. In fact you can barely see it. The way they act, you'd think they were dying of leprosy or something! Sheesh.
Then comes the miraculous healing. What is that, exactly? If you have the Blue Ray you'll just barely be able to see Christ's blood pouring into the cave. Otherwise, you just have to imagine it.
So, what does it mean when the emotional climax of a true Hollywood blockbuster is blunted by the fact that they WEREN'T that sick-looking, and the source of the healing seems to be some rain??
Uhhh... it means that the director should have hit this nail a little more squarely and a little harder. He needed some Hammer Horror makeup to show the lepers dragged from the dungeon, with flesh dripping off, etc. And he needed that blood to drip off a toe and then down the hill into the cave, and maybe a little more Hammer Horror technicolor blood to Hammer that point home again. Otherwise, dumb little kids like me would have to wait for years to figure it all out. I mean, come on. Give a little kid a break!
Other than that. TEN out of TEN. Aye, you'll no see 'em made like this again, laddy. All real people, horses, ships and, gosh, they had to re-create the Roman Empire to make this work.
I guess they couldn't re-create the crucifixion, though.