I hate this film with every fibre of my being!

Rating: 1/10 (27 October 2001)

I wanted to like this film. Aww heck, I wanted to love it. I'm a big fan of black comedies in general. I've followed Spike Jonzes career for years, John Cusack is one of my favourite actors and Cameron Diaz... Well let's just say that my feelings towards Cameron Diaz are pretty much the same as every other hetrosexual male's. So this should have been a slam dunk. I liked the concept of the film, the reviews were glowing, I was receptive, pumped and primed.
Then I saw the film...
And it did suck. Balls.
Huge great hairy balls of suckiness.
There was not a single character I felt any affinity to. I found the situations contrived and pointless. The ideas explored were either bland or annoying. The acting was over the top and all I was left with was an uncomfortable desire to slap everyone involved.
Was my reaction a little extreme? Perhaps, but I don't feel too bad, given that I seem to be in the minority here. Everyone appears to love this film. People go on and on about it, so if I've missed the point, well, my opinions are hardly going to drown out the true believers. But what if I'm right and they're the ones who are wrong? What if there are good, film-loving folks who are just embarassed to admit they don't get it? What if, as I suspect is true, there are vast hordes of BEING JOHN MALKOVICH haters out there, just waiting for someone to tell them that it's OK not to like this film?
Rise up, Rise Up! You have nothing to lose but your pretensions!