Somebody's Gotta Hate This Movie ...

Rating: Null/10 (11 November 1999)

Not that I actually hated it so much as I was annoyed by it. Annoyed by the whiny, self-absorbed characters, particularly the uber-Woody-Allen-ish puppeteer played by John Cusack. Annoyed by the idea of a "seventh-and-a-half" floor of an office building where all the employees must stoop (ho-ho-ho). Annoyed by the secretary who mis-hears everything that's said to her (har-de-har-har). And, finally, annoyed by that damned portal into John Malcovich's head! Where the hell did this idea spring from? And why choose the New Jersey turnpike for characters to land in after they've been ejected from ... from ... where do they fly from, anyway?
Okay, okay, there were numerous moments in this film that were very funny. And the idea of John Malcovich playing a parody of himself - or, rather, a parody of what the public thinks he's like - is great. As it happens, Mr. Malcovich handled his "part" beautifully. But it only served to remind me how much more this film would have lived up to it's title if it had been about, say, a struggling thespian or fan who is so enamored of John Malcovich that he tries to emulate him or stalk him or something like that. At least, that's what I thought the film was gonna be about till I read the reviews!
I'm sorry, folks. I love innovations and it's always refreshing to see even an unsuccessful attempt to break away from the usual crop of action/smack-shion/horny teenager malarky (believe me, I'll take this puppy any day over "The Bachelor!"). But innovative should not necessarily be confused with great. An orange with a peanut butter filling may be innovative, but that doesn't mean it's gonna taste good.