The Worst

Rating: 1/10 (19 February 2007)

Why, oh why, is there no "ZERO" on the ratings dropdown? This would be on my very short list for worst movie of all time.
A. It's dumb. Very dumb. It's an un-funny one-line joke stretched out interminably. (The only good moment - I guess that's worth the "1" rating - is when SPOILER Malkovich "becomes" himself; but that's not nearly enough for a whole movie.)
B. It's smarmily, cloyingly, smugly artsy-fartsy, in a way no other movie I can think of ever pulls off. It wants me to be impressed by the way the film was loaded into the camera.
C. It's bo-o-oring. It goes on, and on, and on. When I rented the DVD, my wife and I watched the latter half at increasing speeds. Even at 32x, it was really, really tedious.
I guess the people who like this film all feel that they're the ones clever enough to "get it." No, sorry... just gullible enough to be "got" by this pseudo-intellectual rubbish.