Unimaginative

Rating: 3/10 (21 March 2001)

I bought (yes BOUGHT, not RENTED, but BOUGHT) this movie without having seen it. That, my friends, is faith. I had read about the premise and thought it was brilliant; truly innovative. "Finally", I thought, "a movie that might wash the bitter taste of Lost in Space: The Motion Picture out of my mouth!" I believed that it might even move me to forget the mistake I made in seeing Hollow Man, though in my defense I was dragged to the theater by two very well-meaning friends. I must say I was also influenced by the wonderful cast. I mean, there was not one actor in that movie whom I despised, a rarity in my case. So what, you may be thinking, was my problem?
Let me tell you.
As far as a wonderful idea goes Being John Malkovich didn't let me down. The film holds an idea born of sheer brilliance, and, let's face it, probably more than a little cannabis. It is an idea rife with promise and potential. With it this work could've gone so many wonderful places and could've expanded minds like no movie since Spaceballs has even attempted. The makers of this film could have done all of these things and more with such a fresh idea, such an imaginative idea, but did they? No. That is why I am so bitter. I wasted $16.50. The makers of this film instead took an idea that was so original, so untouched, so imaginative and turned it into the most trite sex farce I have ever seen. They turned it into a movie all about sex. I felt insulted. Sex is the least thought-provoking theme that a movie could ever have, and it is almost blasphemous when applied to a film with such artistic potential. I mean, who doesn't think about sex at least once every minute? Yeah, real unique. To be honest, the latter part of the movie seemed like a cop out. It seemed to me that the script writer wasn't sure of what to do with such a gem of an idea. Here in his usually capable hands was something that no one had done before, so he panicked and ruined it with an almost narcoleptic ignorance of what he was doing. Like Dorothy, he had no idea what a pair of ruby slippers could do, so he let them go to waste. At least Dorothy realized the power of those damn shoes by the end of her romp through Oz and decided to do something about it. Being John Malkovich makes no such about-face, however. In fact it falls flat on its face. Still, like every movie it has its moments and I definitely think it's worth viewing, just don't make the same mistake I did. For the love of all that's good and decent, borrow it from somewhere.
3/10 For giving it the old college try