Expensive but not expansive...everything money can buy or manufacture except charm and spirit

Rating: 3/10 (1 April 2017)

Disney trying to top themselves. This live-action rendering of the studio's 1991 animated version of the oft-told fairy tale is Disney's way of giving family-friendly audiences a 'treat' while raking in big money the easy way: by delivery a presold product, one with name and song value--and built-in approval ratings. At a debutante ball in 18th century France, an old hag casts a spell on the partygoers after she is rebuffed (seems she's an enchantress in disguise, though we have no idea why); the selfish prince of the manor is then turned into a beastly creature, while his attendants are turned into (talking) objects. Her spell will be broken once the prince learns about true love, though this must happen before the last pedal on the enchantress's rose falls... Ideally, this material is timeless and should entertain those who do not know the story and approach it with a fresh perspective. However, while Disney's previous version broke new ground for animated musicals, this dark, lead-footed endeavor never lifts off, remaining flatly earthbound despite the familiar songs and characters. When trying for a little humor, scenarists Stephen Chbosky and Evan Spiliotopoulos cannot come up with anything other than dry sarcasm, which doesn't wear well on their princess Belle, played by a miscast Emma Watson. Whether feigning indignation or attempting to register awe, Watson approaches her part with a firm jaw and a righteous tone, as if this were a feminist mock-up; when she asks the Beast if he's joking when he offers his castle to her, she sounds like the captain of a cheerleading squad. The art direction and design of this preconceived blockbuster is fussy and forgettable--no one will come out of this movie saying that it transported them to another time and place--while the unobtrusive supporting cast plays it safe, perhaps so as not to be in competition with their animated counterparts. Somewhere, French filmmaker Jean Cocteau (who helmed the 1946 version, "La Belle et la Bête") is smiling, for trendy blockbusters come and go but art remains truly timeless. *1/2 from ****