Honestly, I wasn't a fan

Rating: 5/10 (18 June 2008)

Okay, so let me start off by saying that I am not a film studies major, neither am I a doofus who only finds cinematic satisfaction in shoot-em-ups (although they are quite fun!). One of my favorite movies is Lang's Metropolis, so I expected something similar here.
Alas, not really. I can't analyse the montage, the shots, the cuts, etc. because I don't have that background. But to my (perhaps jaded and most definitely cynical) eyes most of the movie seemed quite ridiculous. I know I have to think of the context and of film-making at the time, but I honestly think that Potemkin could have done without a lot of film we see.
So, anyway, we start out on a ship where the soldiers are maltreated by pompous officers who order them to eat maggot infested meat. This is shaping up well. They refuse to eat the soup made with the meat (so good so far), which ticks off the officers, most of whom have pointy waxed mustaches that they twirl with malice. The portly captain orders all hands on deck and proceeds to inform those who did not eat the soup that he will kill them all.
This gave me pause. Logically, what would a captain have to gain if he executed the majority of his crew? A whole lot more work for himself, that's what! Okay. So the captain is a dolt. Anyway, he orders the ship's guard to fire upon a group of "we want something else"-ers who have been draped in a tarpaulin for easy jettisoning and assuaged consciences. In an agonizingly long and unrealistic sequence, everyone looks at each other for a while; finally the ship's resident revolutionary persuades everyone to turn on the officers, most of whom are thrown overboard to drown (since swimming is not a prerequisite to become a naval officer in tsarist Russia, evidently). The ship's priest, a man who desperately needs some Frizz-Ease or maybe just a hint of hair gel, and who is very much the crazy-man Rasputin type, gets pushed down a ladder (into Hell?). However, one of them pursues the ship's Lenin and shoots him in the back of the head. Said shot man then is obviously a hardy fellow, since he manages to reach his hand up and touch his head wound, fall into a net of ropes and writhe for a while before he falls into the sea. His comrades sail into Odessa harbor and dump him on the shore in a tent.
The whole town turns out to see him, and they get all whipped up and vow to destroy the oppressors. Then we have the famous Odessa stairs sequence, which I admit was quite moving, but also too long. I felt like an awful person for smirking when the bereaved mother with her obviously dead son in her arms says to the troops "My son is very ill." Well, if that isn't an understatement I don't know what is. Does anyone know if this is an exact translation?
Anyway, at the end of the film all the other ships join Potemkin. Revolution is fun, yay!