Incoherent... bloated... and just plain dull

Rating: 4/10 (27 March 2016)

The moment we've long been waiting for, two the biggest names in the DC Universe on-screen together for the first time in cinema history. Alas, it was not worth the wait. We are left with a meandering mess that is so haphazard, it felt like some dastardly projectionist had slyly cut scenes out and left them on the projection-booth floor.
We begin with Bruce Wayne as he watches his own building collapse following the battle at the conclusion of Man of Steel. This is then followed by scenes in the Indian Ocean and then in Africa, the latter being the first of many occasions where Lois Lane requires saving by her caped hero in increasingly contrived and implausible situations. The first hour in particular is the film's weakest, taking an absolute age to go from point A to B from a narrative aspect. The superfluous flash-forwards and dream sequences also add to the confusion, leading to a situation where you're never quite sure if a scene is "real" or happening in the mind of a character. The focus is all over the place, and frankly the overwhelming emotion that the film left me with for the most part was was boredom.
It is each of the heroes' distrust of the others unchecked power which drives them into opposing paths. However, their character arcs are never fully explored, leading to a clash that just feels contrived. Also adding to the woe is Jesse Eisenberg's version of Lex Luthor. It is almost as if director Zack Snyder told him to play the character like he played Mark Zuckerberg in "Social Network", but turned up to the absolute max. Lex Luthor is a power-hungry, meticulous, billionaire businessman but Eisenberg portrays him as a maniacal character more akin to Heath Ledger's Joker. There were also incredibly few jokes in a film that played it completely straight.
The film is neither saved by its conclusion: a chest-thumping, headache-inducing, seemingly never-ending punch-up. On the plus side, Ben Affleck was excellent in his portrayal of a more world-weary Batman and Jeremy Irons was impressive despite being under-used. Fans may enjoy the sheer scale of the spectacle, but all I left with the cinema with was crushing disappointment and a missed opportunity.