Get Angry. We Deserve Better.

Rating: 3/10 (29 April 2016)

I'm sick of reading apologetic reviews for this film of the "If you can just get through the bad stuff, the rest of it is AMAZING" ilk.
We shouldn't have to endure dialogue this bad, acting this awful and plotting this lazy to get to the good stuff. Let's take a few examples:

Cavill has zero chemistry with Adams. None. The scene where he leaps into the bath with her is so awkward it's embarrassing.

And why is Amy Adams in the bath anyway? It's hardly a playful scene - she's talking about death and responsibility. I can only think it's played that way for "Phwoar! Amy Adams in the bath!" reasons.

People in this film don't "do" motivation. Superman turns on Batman for being a vigilante above the law. Which he is too. The public turns on Superman because of crimes they KNOW were committed by other people. Lex turns on Superman because... well, I'm still not sure about that.

Batman, the World's Greatest Detective - acts like an idiot for most of the film. Despite all evidence pointing at Lex, he allows himself to be manipulated into fighting Superman. Why didn't he use his detection skills on "Who sent those notes?" and "Who blew up the Senator?" and "Hey, why does Lex want all that Kryptonite anyway?"

Batman is also kind of a sadist. No, I'm not complaining about the Bat-brand, I can live with that. But he takes his time toying with Superman. I'm not sure why. Again, motivation issues.

I don't actually have a massive problem with Superman & Batman killing people. Although you have to admit, it makes you wonder how Lex & The Joker are still alive. But this movie doesn't care about plot holes. I believe there's actually a plot "black hole" at the centre of this film, sucking in all logic.

Mmm! I'm not sure I can entirely blame - mmm! - Jesse Eisenberg for Lex. I mean how can you deliver lines as embarrassingly bad as these without sounding like a complete idiot? Yet no character in the film ever comments on the fact that he acts like the guy on the bus you see muttering to himself. It can't be his wealth. I know Lex is a billionaire, but then again so is Donald Drumpf and people call him crazy all the time.

Plus "crazy" isn't the same as "scary". There's no menace, no sense of malevolent power in Lex. He's just an irritant. Someone to move the plot forward for no good reason other than to fulfil the promise in the title. Again, not Eisenberg's fault but why did they write him this way, instead of the power-obsessed, morally bankrupt businessman we've seen in Lex before? We didn't need Less-Interesting-Joker-Lex.

The arrogance of the film reminds me a little of "Prometheus" - another film that attempted to address big issues, but had no idea what to do with them. There's no philosophy here, no intelligence - having characters rant and rave about gods and mortals doesn't give them a coherent philosophy or moral outlook. In "The Dark Knight" The Joker had an actual philosophy - a corrupted viewpoint that ran counter to Batman's. Here, I can't tell what anyone stands for. What does Lex even want?

How much of this mess can be blamed on Snyder is debatable - I think the bulk of the blame should be placed on Goyer & Terrio who should never be allowed to write anything ever again, including greetings on birthday cards. However, I will say that if Snyder were a half- competent director surely he should have binned this script and brought in someone else.
As for the film, I know it's made a lot of money which is actually a terrible shame. It means all of those responsible will feel it's acceptable to produce something this bad, so long as it has a big budget and impressive CGI (see also: Transformers).
For me, it just isn't good enough, with this budget and these actors we deserved something better. With these iconic characters to finally show together on the big screen, we deserved something astonishing. The film-makers should be embarrassed.