Supe v Batty = Yawn of Justice

Rating: 1/10 (9 March 2017)

What can I say? DC have done it again. Spent millions of unnecessary dollars on a couple of caped idiots fighting over nothing. Well done! I mean that. Well done me for not going to see 2+ hrs of yet more explosions with no storyline at the cinema. Trust me when I say I would have demanded every hard earned penny back. I learnt my lesson from the last time with Man of Steel and that was only slightly better than this dud. I really don't understand how a relatively simple original story can be taken to the planet of nowhere special. This was just yawnsville at its best. It's the usual. Two overblown male egos fighting for dominance, to rid the planet of baddies and destroying it in the process. Yeah, that makes perfect sense, what was I thinking? It's obviously me at fault here as we all know there's only 1 life in the whole city worth saving Superman, and that's your gal Lois Lane. Oh yeah! There was a random stranger trapped in a burning building, and when rescued, a crowd of delirious folk started fawning over him as they obviously weren't used to seeing someone other than Lois Lane being saved. Yeah, that must be it. Who thought of this so-called "story"?? Well, no formal warning needed. Just fire him/her and do us all a favour.
There was one comedy moment that our household laugh about even though it was supposed to be a pivotal scene. Batman has spent weeks pumping iron (and maybe a few steroids) his body's now buffed to perfection. He's just gotta kill Superman and has pulled out the stops to find his Achilles heel. Finally they meet. He's thrown old supe all over the place, battered him senseless, and was just about to give the fatal blow when.... wait for it... Superman utters the all important words: "Find...Martha!!!!" "Why did you say that name??!!" demands our batty friend repeatedly (camera cuts to the scene of mummy's death - AGAIN (yawn)). Lois saves her beloved by gushing "it's his mother's name!" so the batty one decides that he'll spare his life, and they are now lifelong friends. Just like that!!! Oh, how I laughed heartily!!! If only Superman knew the secret password was 'Martha' at the beginning it would have saved so much bother. The city would have been intact, the ozone less damaged and Lex Luthor's plans thwarted. Speaking of the bald-headed one. A raging psychopath? Really? Lex is supposed to be a white collared criminal genius, not a cold-blooded murderer. Just awful. But at least Batman got a chiselled bod out of it. So there's that I suppose
This rubbish takes itself far too seriously. I miss Chris Reeve's tongue in cheek Superhero. It's dated, with ropey special effects, but it's a classic that I still laugh at for the right reasons. Take a leaf out of Mavel's comic book DC and allow us a little light relief now and then I beg of you
I wanted to award this tripe with zilch, but as there is no nil point, 1 would have to suffice, but I'm loathed to give it believe me
Do yourself a favour. Give this piece of Kryptonian/Gotham/Metropolis nonsense a miss. Wish I did