Batman vs Superman review (spoiler alert!)

Rating: Null/10 (14 April 2016)

The dawn that makes you yawn. Otherwise known as bat lame vs super lame. Hundreds of millions of dollars plus to make this film, are you serious! This is yet another pathetic attempt at reprising both Batman and Superman. If you happen to be born as a millennial then I could understand re-telling them the lore of these most famous superheroes, but if not, stop treating us like morons and show us what we are all really hanging out for, a super story that will keep us on the edge of our seats. Instead all I was doing was looking at my watch wondering when this was going to end.
Supes would have to be my favorite superhero. I remember him having to fight off all sorts of baddies. Yet as more Superman movies come out it seems he has only a select few baddies in his way. 'Man of Steel' showed us General Zod, a cool baddie portrayed well by Michael Shannon, but we've already met Zod before in the Superman movies of the 70's and 80's with fan favorite Christopher Reeves as Superman. Why then, when you have a plethora of baddies in your arsenal would you go back to Zod? Especially in this day and age of the intermenets why can't they just watch the older films to catch up? Surely they are smart enough! No, no treat us like fools, that's right, waste our valuable time and money watching 'Gladiator' star Russell Crowe playing Jor-El even though Marlon Brando played him better. Let's watch Jesse Eisenberg play Alexander Luthor even though every other actor who has portrayed Lex has played him better.
Why then do I have sit through two and a half hours of nonsense with actors who had the chance to show something new and special with their characters, and then sadly watch them as they did nothing different with them. Lex seems to be Superman's only human nemesis, how many machinations can Lex be played before we the audience get bored with him? It doesn't seem enough as Hollywood would have it. Lex, Lex, Lex, whiny, aloof and cringe worthy, not to mention I would've appreciated subtitles when he spoke, he was incessantly numb-skullingly boring. If you really had to have Luthor as an arch- nemesis then create a deep, dark, multi-layered character that he deserves, not a little rich boy you'd wish dead in the first seconds he arrives on screen.
This leads me on to the racist views that Hollywood does either consciously or not. White people, why are they everywhere? OK Laurence Fishburne playing ironically Perry White, but let's face it, he's a token African American that's almost white, I mean he's been involved in Hollywood since 'Apocalypse Now'. What I'm talking about is the beautiful Japanese actor Tao Okamoto (Mercy Graves). In the comic books Mercy Graves is Lex's bodyguard, she is a strong, intelligent character, but in BvS she had no speaking role, eventually killed off by one of Lex's duped stooges. Tao ended up being just another pretty face for a Western audience. Even the 1979 movie, Lex's woman had a few lines which were relevant to the film. Unfortunately for Ms.Okamoto there was no such thing, instead of being showered with affection she was blown up, with no sentimental thought.
Superman is great, but what's with his choice in women? Lois Lane is known as a strong independent, thought provoking journalist, but she has unfortunately been turned into one of the most annoying characters ever to grace the screen, thanks to Amy Adams performance. Her weak, pathetic attitude coupled with always getting into trouble meant that Superman needed eyes in the back of his head to take care of her. Why the hell does she keep doing that? Let's face it, if Lex and Lois weren't in this film it would've been a ten times better flick. Please no Lois and Lex in the next films, pretty please!
OK, enough of the bad, let's focus on the positives in this film. Ben Affleck as Batman, initially I had concerns about him donning the bat cape. But it might be as he is getting older he is improving as an actor, or he really is a dark, twisted person, either way, his performance kept the movie flowing and interesting as he fought with his own demons, and wrestled with the idea that his world is crumbling right in front of his very eyes.
Henry Cavill does a decent job of playing Superman when he was not being CGI'd. It's hard enough playing a superhero let alone having to act with the cast he was dealt. There are supposed to be sparks flying between Lois and Clark (even Dean Cain and Teri Hacher did this well), but the scenes in which the BvS stars share end up looking awkward and standoffish. The death of Superman was another cringe worthy moment in which only Americans would appreciate. During Supes' funeral procession his coffin was draped with the American flag and the US army firing their cannons. Note to Hollywood: if you want to sell movies to the world then stop this pathetic, patronizing and patriotic fervor that's embedded in your scripts. Superman is a man of the world, he belongs to everyone!
And finally, to witness the introduction of the Justice League and seeing them being brought together was a fine idea, seeing that the movie is actually called 'the dawn of justice'. Unfortunately the team has been let down by poor casting choices and a lack of new ideas that would make audiences come back for another trip down memory lane. It's important to remember that the millions of dollars spent on this film could feed a lot of people or take many homeless people off the streets. This is a disgrace, and the movie script should never have been picked up after its first draft.