A bad movie that people only say is good because they desperately want it to be.

Rating: Null/10 (31 August 2016)

Well done Zack Snyder and all those involved for creating what is certainly one of the most polarising films... ever. This really is one huge Marmite sandwich you've given us, with people either liking this movie to such a huge extent that they'll personally attack anyone who criticises it, contrasted with those who hated it to such a great measure that they'll personally attack anyone who gives it praise. There seems to be no middle ground, no grey with people's opinions of this movie; it's just black and white. Fitting, seeing as this movie was so dreary and sullen at times that it could have almost benefited from a neo-noir aesthetic. And where do I stand in this divisive spectrum? Well, look at the rating out of ten I gave this piece and you should work it out from there.
Let's start from the beginning. The title to this movie is just plain wrong. It's misleading and manipulative, making cinema-goers believe they're in for an epic showdown between two of some of the greatest, most recognisable, most iconic figures in comic book history. And yes, it does happen... after an hour and a half of waiting around... and it only lasts five minutes... and it's boring. It only lasts five minutes AND it's f*cking boring! For a movie that is two and a half hours long to have the main theme, the main purpose, to constitute to about 3% of its total run-time makes it disappointing and leaves the audience feeling cheated. It would be like calling the entire Harry Potter franchise "The Death of Dobby". More of this movie's run time is devoted to the "exposition via timely news reports" trope than actual superhero combat, for f*ck's sake. F*ck the writers for those lazy bits of screen writing and all.
No word of a lie, so much of this film rendered me physically angered.
Don't get me started on the f*cking "Martha" topic. People from both sides of the argument for this "plot-point" seem to get it wrong, but the reason for it is to cause Batman to see a shred of humanity in Superman through learning that he has a human family, thus deterring Batman from killing him. Also, since Martha was also Bruce Wayne's mother's name, he decides to aid Superman in preventing his mother's demise as he knows the crushing emotional feeling of parental loss. Once put like that, it's quite a neat little bit of narrative... But that doesn't stop the film's execution of the scene from being so bloody, f*cking stupid! Bruce Wayne despised Superman. The fact his mother was in peril wouldn't stay his hand, because of the pain and destruction Superman had caused, not just to thousands of members of the public, but to Bruce personally as well. If your mother's name was Klara, would that stop you from murdering Adolf Hitler? And it's not like Martha was Clark Kent's biological mother; Superman's parents were Kryptonians, just like him. Seconds before killing Superman, Batman even references the notion that Superman has parents, so it's not like the discovery of a mother is any surprise to him. Defend this segment of the film all you want, but it's poorly done and just plain, f*cking idiotic.
One of the most frustrating things I associate with this movie are quotes from some of the cast and crew, who, during interviews, had stated that Dawn of Justice may put off certain theatre-goers as the film may prove "too smart" for them. You pretentious, condescending, little c*nts. I suppose the writers' definition of "intelligent narrative" is the same as my definition for "too many themes and plot points cobbled into one scene, resulting in dialogue and pacing sounding out of place, vapid and causing confusion as to why it takes place at all". But it's not as if the themes are difficult to comprehend: Bruce Wayne dislikes Superman because he causes destruction despite heroic actions (a common notion held by multiple characters that is blatantly explained throughout most of the film); Superman often feels the same way, and... that's pretty much his personality in its entirety for the film, 'nuff said. It doesn't take a genius to suss this one out, Jesus Christ! This movie takes itself way too seriously, as do its rabid fans.
I probably would have given this movie a higher rating (maybe five stars, or four and a half if IMDb would let me) had it not been for the fact that this is one of the most anticipated movies ever and had so much potential for greatness, but ended up as a drawn out, messily put together, confusing bore, that appears to think itself as being far smarter than it really is and that seemed more preoccupied in setting up future DC movies to come than in actually succeeding as an entertaining stand-alone.
But there is some hope to glean from "Dawn of Boring": the hope that maybe people will stop entrusting their movie products with Zack Snyder; that people will realise his style is bland and dated by today's standards (which is a shame, because his style is the only thing he really has going for him in terms of movie-making, as he's already proved that he can't write) and he'll be forced to reevaluate his credibility as a director. This isn't a personal dig at you with the intention of insulting you, Zack. I'm just saying you're in the wrong line of work.
Do quit your day job...