umm....not that bad, yo!

Rating: 6/10 (30 March 2016)

Okay, okay.....we already have a lifetime of negative reviews for this movie so I'm going to play the contrarian here and say it wasn't as bad as all that and in some ways, even a decent film. The thing I think we should all consider is that your characters in this flick are rather unique interpretations of extremely familiar , iconic entities and I think thats what makes it all so jarring when they don't act the way we think they should. Don't get me wrong, some elements did feel really off but generally if you go into this thing thinking "Snyderverse" Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc. it goes down a heck of a lot easier for both fanboys and casual viewers, I think. What- Supes can't be a depressed jerkass? He has as much right to as any of us, maybe more. Bats can't be an aggressive self-righteous sociopath with trust issues after all he's been through? Wonder Woman can't be....Awesome? My Theory is that what this film is trying to do can be encapsulated in the infamous "Martha" scene: Its trying to show us how human our heroes are! Superman is an alien who could hurl the Chrysler building into the sun but he also has a MOM! He is one of us. So is Batman. So is Lex. So is Doom....wait, no, never mind. Anyway it all comes off pretty ham-fisted but I'm actually kind of okay with that.
Anyway I'm gonna make a bold move and say that I think most of us already know Batmans origin so I will take off points for that because I've seen enough of his dying parents to have my own recurring PTSD nightmares about that particular aspect of Bruce Waynes life plus can you say filler? My goodness! PLEASE STOP SHOOTING BRUCE WAYNES PARENTS! I'm afraid to go to the movies now! Who the @#%# shoots two people leaving the movies on what, a busy Saturday night? What the fudge? We all know it happened! Perry White said it best...and in other news...water is wet!
Alright,alright, look.....The title fight was awesome as far as I'm concerned and lasted about as long as it should have in my opinion, plus it went the way ummm.....50% of you guys wanted it to so there's that. All in all I guess I would say that it feels maybe like it could have been maybe 30-45 minutes shorter and probably was before Joe Movie exec decided we should:
(a) Be spoonfed a bunch of stuff we should already know from like everything ever made containing even a passing reference to the origins of arguably the two most popular characters in the history of comics without actually adding anything new to said origin stories (They actually could have just lifted BMs from just about any BatMan movie- just the way it was and dropped it right there in the film.Coulda used a scene from Gotham even. Bruces parents deaths must be the most filmed scene ever!They may as well have him get bitten by a radioactive spider, too)
(b) Have Lex be Sort of Lex, The Joker plus Riddler plus sorta Pengunish, if you think about it , sprinkled it with some Bond villain Lets have a side of Ozymondias as well.....Willy Wonka...The Mad Hatter....Then let him smoke crack? Like Amadeus Cho meets Woody Harrelson hooked up to a car battery or something like that but with a Doctor Whovian Monologue powered character shield.....SNYDER!WHY! Why not just have him be smart, evil and hate supes.....What was all that crap? I mean, okay, you can be all "lets try this out" without keeping it! Was that like the last roll of film you had? I bet it looked great live.
(C)Stick the post credits scene in the middle of the @W#$%#$% Movie!Go ahead, naw, it'll go over really well when , you know, yeah...nothing happens.
(d)Have everybody do it for the evulz? Like seriously, this only make sense sometimes if they really are doing it for the evulz
(e)Find out the answer to the question "Why don't you just shoot him?" (Which I thought we already knew.)Then answer that question by not asking it at all...hmmmm
(f) All of you. Lets stretch this bad boy out to 151 minutes!
(g) Make Lois Lane into Carl Grimes
So, in closing Most of what Batman does on a certain level makes complete sense if you factor in that he's actually "Snyder-Bat" and Most of what "Snyder-Supes"(cough-Sentry-cough!) does makes sense in that context as well . Aside from it being maybe (totally) a little a lot!) too long it was worth a movie ticket. Batman fought Superman. Who cares why or how really? Still better than any transformers flick, right? Nerd rage aside, I really can't fault this movie for trying to be its own thing but I can fault it for essentially being an epic youtube video once all the filler is taken out. Affleck was not as bad as I thought he would be (impossible to be that bad, I'm sure) and actually pulled it off pretty good. I feel like too many of the reviews here were written too soon after seeing the movie-It may age better than you think.