A Shockingly Miserable Experience

Rating: 2/10 (27 March 2016)

I came into this movie attempting to watch it with an open mind, but after seeing Batman Vs Superman in its entirety, I'm sad to write that it was even worse than I feared. I've seen a lot of bad movies. I've seen movies with worse writing, worse acting, worse plots, worse everything, but never have I seen a movie that disappointed me more than this. Almost every decision made in this movie was wrong in some way. The only reason I'm giving this movie a 2 instead of a 1 is because it technically didn't do everything wrong. Technically.
I'll start by saying that this movie is completely devoid of color and light, as if making a movie physically dark throughout its entire runtime makes it more edgy and cool. Instead, the experience of watching a movie that's only two colors are blue and black is exactly as visually uninteresting as it sounds. There's no contrast to make the dark moments feel dark because this movie is a two and a half hour ride of constant misery and meaningless preaching. And don't forget the shaky cam! Movies are better if there's shaky cam in every scene!
Almost every line said in this movie is weightless fluff meant for the filmmakers to constantly preach to the audience about the movies confused message and how important Superman is. If you thought the religious symbolism in Man of Steel was bad, prepare to find out just how much worse it could have been, because a solid 20% of this movie is spent comparing Superman to Jesus. In truth, this movie has no message, it's just hours of heavy handed, emotional speeches that add up to nothing and serve only to waste your time. When every line in a movie feels like a quote from a trailer, it all just sounds like white noise to me. I'm not kidding when I say that the line "God help us all," was actually used in this movie. I really wish I was joking about that, but they did it.
If you liked any of these characters and want to see them represented well, too bad. Aside from Wonderwoman's brief cameo, none of these classic characters are represented accurately at all. Superman is the same mopey, angst filled cardboard box that he was in Man of Steel. Batman has none of the morals his character usually revolves around as he uses guns and casually murders dozens of thugs. Lex Luther is the worst represented and most miscast of them all. There is absolutely nothing left of Lex's character in this film as he acts like a genocidal madman for absolutely no reason and with no gain to himself. He feels more like the Joker than Lex Luthor and those are two characters who should never be mixed up.
As far as the plot is concerned, you're on your own. This confused mess is very consistent in that it makes no sense from start to finish. I don't know what characters are doing or why and the result is a two and a half hour montage of "things that happen."
Do not watch this movie. Even if you're a fan of Batman and Superman, there's nothing left of them to enjoy in this flick.