Bat-boring, super-disappointing non-delivery

Rating: 2/10 (23 March 2016)

Just as with people who liked the retread that was The Force Awakens, I just cannot comprehend at all that so many fan boys are trying to convince themselves that BvS is a good (or God forbid, great) movie. It is a *terrible* movie, shock-full of absurd shortcomings. You never feel anything at all for any of the characters; the storytelling is completely horrid and unconvincingly self-important. All characters besides the two mains feel like they're only there as brief vignettes; there is zero sense of their being part of an actual, on-going narrative. And I'm saying this as a long-time comic book reader and collector; as a big superhero fan. Here's just a few of the movie's many problems (and yes, there are a few spoilers here):

Was Batman's stealing the kryptonite a part of Luthor's plan? It didn't seem to be, yet it played a key part in Luthor's plan to pit Batman against Superman. So, huh? I call that a plot hole.

How did Luthor learn Superman's secret identity? This wasn't explained.

How did Batman find Martha Kent in the undisclosed location? Not explained.

So many story elements were just included as throw-aways, incl. the big thing at the end. That's completely meaningless. And speaking of the final fight, Superman should not have been able to carry that spear. He was vulnerable to it; there were two other major characters who could have carried it without being affected by it; it's more logical that one of them would have done it. Only, if they had, we wouldn't have gotten that nonsensical shock-value throw-away ending.

Almost nothing worked in this movie. Mindless action, no characterization, ridiculous pacing, overwrought stylism with no substance. Who the hell likes this sort of stuff? I liked about two things about this movie. I liked the early sequence with the flash- back to Metropolis being destroyed by Zod's people in the first movie; it was visually spectacular in a way that worked. The other thing I liked was Luthor's overall character arc. He pits the two mains against each other (thus providing a proper explanation for why they fight, which really needed one!) and he's aware of the more cosmic implications of what's going on, unlike the other characters. However, I didn't particularly like Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal of him. I don't have anything against Eisenberg (I loved him in The Social Network), but the way he played Luthor as some kind of insecure, twitchy psycho just seemed stilted and artificial to me. Neither he nor any of the other characters, except Wonder Woman, felt anywhere near real or relatable. The romance between Clark and Lois also fell flat; we are introduced to it in the beginning of the movie, but apart from two kisses along the way, there is no feeling whatsoever in the course of the movie that these two are in a relationship. All the characters just feel dead.
It's a shame. I was hoping to like this movie. I wasn't overly fond of Man of Steel, but I didn't hate it, either; I rated it a 7 out of 10. BvS is much worse and can garner only a 2. This DC Murderverse movie is just incredibly terrible. I never thought we would get a movie compared with which Man of Steel looks like a wholesome, competent, better story, but that is what we have gotten. Most people will agree with this appraisal in the fullness of time, no doubt.