Split right down the middle

Rating: 5/10 (27 March 2016)

Like everyone, I was waiting for years to see this movie. Now that it's finally out, I would rather have waited another year for its problems to be ironed out. Let's get the most obvious problem out of the way: Jessie Eisenberg. He reminds me of King Joffery, only Eisenberg's annoyingness was not intentional. His entire plan was so full of holes that it is insultingly dumb that only one person was able to figure it out. The plot was overly convoluted, with the clash of ideologically opposed heroes clashing reduced to "that annoying rich brat tricked them into fighting because... uh... reasons". In fact, very little of what anyone does makes sense. Batman, the world's greatest detective, shoots first and asks questions never (I'm not even talking about the killing). The movie tries to cram so many stories into itself that none of them have the focus needed to really make an impact. During the climax I was just sitting back, rolling my eyes, waiting for it to be over. Bigger does not mean better. Okay, now for some good things: Affleck was really good as Batman, Jeremy Irons was the best Alfred of all time, and Gal Gadot was great as Wonderwoman. Batman had some really good scenes, like the aftermath of Man of Steel in the beginning and the Arkham games-style fight in the trailer. Any other good moments would be considered spoilers, so just know they are in there. All in all, though, I would not sit through this whole thing again just to see those moments.