Possibly the most boring superhero movie I've ever watched

Rating: 5/10 (29 April 2016)

I mean, there is action. 10 minutes at the start, an occasional moment scattered here and there and a rather nicely done sequence at the end.
However, in order to see those moments, you have to suffer (and I really use that word deliberately here) through another two hours of the most forced plot, the most contrived setups and some of the most cringe-inducing dialogue imaginable.
But first, the good things. Affleck as Batman is pretty believable. Certainly he is one of the highlights of the movie. Cavill, almost seems boring by comparison, but he is a serviceable Superman. Gal Gadot surprised me as Wonder Woman, but her portrayal of her alter-ego Diana Prince was less enjoyable. And....that's about it really. Other than to say the effects and cinematography were all top notch and the action scenes were well done.
With the given title, you might be forgiven for thinking that the movie centres on a conflict between between the two heroes, which ultimately resolves itself into the beginnings of the Justice League.
Well, whilst the latter certainly does appear - literally in the last few minutes of the film - the former is woefully mishandled.
The story is childishly written, poorly edited together, and serves to do nothing but make you think of both of these iconic heroes as little more than surly teenagers, angry at some imagined slight.
This isn't Batman and it isn't Superman. It's some ill-conceived attempt to make them gritty and edgy. And it fails badly.
However, the two heroes are not the worst served of the franchise characters here.
Lois Lane's character becomes little more than a "princess in the tower" trope in this movie, repeatedly requiring Superman to rescue her and then making doe eyes at him (as if Amy Adams could ever make any other sort of eyes). I am genuinely surprised the feminist movement hasn't pounced on this, as it is just the kind of stereotyping that deserves such attack. It makes Lois Lane little more than a walking plot device, there only to get Superman to one location or another by dint of her uselessness.
Then, of course, there is Lex Luthor. Wow! Talk about miscasting! Not that I blame Jesse Eisenberg here. No doubt he put his spin on the character from the script he was given, but his clownish, over the top, performance would not be out of place in Batman and Robin. Did Zack Snyder really direct him to do this? If so, then that is where the fault lies. Otherwise, Jesse has the idea that he is acting in an altogether different decade of superhero movie than everyone else.
Speaking of Zack Snyder... There are his usual trademarks here... slow-motion (mostly used badly here and only serving to drag out the length of the movie); dream sequences (which are mostly useless padding that you could do without and so badly edited in that if you blink you won't have any idea what is going on for a few moments). Zack also tries to give an almost art-house feel to the movie at points, but lacks the necessary skills to do it convincingly. As a result, it just feels as awkward and contrived as most of the rest of the movie.
I really have grave reservations about the whole Justice League thing now. Snyder is directing both of those and has a hand in the writing too. I don't think it is going to end well.
Overall, the movie is an interminable mess, made worse by the ludicrous run-time. If this was a series and not a film, this would be the filler episode.
I'm not sure how this got to release in its current format. Were there no test screenings? Did no one say "You know, it's kind of boring most of the time." Or were they all just wowed by the final action scenes and decided to be lenient on the questionnaires at the end. Or maybe those response forms were badly crafted and simply didn't have the requisite "How many times did you fall asleep during the movie?" multi-choice tick box questions that it should have had.
Either way, it's one of the weakest superhero movies I've seen for a long time. If you don't believe me, then I'll just add this final thought: I enjoyed the Fantastic Four more than I did this movie! Finally, a public service notice...
TIP FOR HOW TO VIEW THIS MOVIE: Watch the first ten minutes or so, then make up any reason you like in your head for why Batman and Superman are enemies (trust me, whatever you come up with will be better than what is actually here, and will likely be less ridiculous). Then fast forward to the one hour thirty minute mark and watch the remainder of the movie. Voila! You just turned a bloated two and a half hour snooze-fest into a one hour action movie.
SUMMARY: Dull and tedious for much of its run-time. Contrived plot, badly served characterisations and a level of bloat that will have you reaching for the Tums bottle.