Completely Insulting to Fans Everywhere

Rating: 2/10 (2 April 2016)

Where do I even start with this atrocity?! Even as just a movie, it's a disjointed, plodding mess, with no real plot to grasp, and a laughably funereal, somber tone to it. It limps along like Frankenstein's monster. You start out with the low budget remake of Nolan's Dark Knight which turns into Inception which turns into the orc fight from The Hobbit and you finally end with the boss battle from Pacific Rim. All of this is set to a soundtrack ripped off from the Phantom of the Opera. And ironically enough, as much as I cringed at the thought of Ben Affleck as Batman and Gardot as Wonderwoman, the actors weren't the problem. Zack Snyder is. Which is a travesty because I normally love his work. So, just set aside Cavill, and Gardot, because they actually did surprisingly well considering the material they were given. Let's get to the meaty bits: Ben Affleck: I was expecting to have to choke him down playing Batman like a bad case of acid reflux, but he surprised me. You can tell Affleck put a lot of love and work into this role, he really did. The problem was the writers neutered Batman to the point that he made decisions like a drunken, indecisive toddler and had all the strategic and tactical thinking power of a puppy after a massive head injury. And Batman with guns. Absolutely NO. Never. Persona non grata. And when has Batman become a clairvoyant? Jesse Mother-#!ck-Sucking Gawtdayumn Eisenberg as Lex Luthor:I don't know who, exactly, Eisenberg was supposed to be, but in no reality was that Lex Luthor. Unless Lex turned into the Taco Bell Chihuahua with a massive case of paranoid schitzophrenia. He actually started out okay. He was selling it, subtly acting crazier and stupider than he really is, which Lex is pretty famous for. Only Eisenberg latched onto the psychotic and stupid and ran with it, completely forgetting about how devious his character is actually supposed to be. Logic...this movie had NONE of it. Absolutely zilch. In the comics, Batman decides to try to kill Superman because he truly believes Superman is evil. They kinda dance around that, at the beginning, but ultimately we get Batman vs. Superman (the most epic and debated fight in comic book history for about...hmmmm, 4 minutes) all because Lex Luthor has Daddy issues. And the two superheroes kiss and make up because they love their Mommies (Bull. Crap.). And the "end" of this fight, leads directly to the scene that, quite literally, had me making violent growling sounds of rage. Doomsday. Anyone that has so much as glanced at a Superman comic, or watched a few minutes of the cartoon, cannot be anything less than enraged by what they did to this character. That. Was. Not. Frakking. Doomsday. First of all, Doomsday was not "born" the offspring of Lex Luthor and General Zod (by the way, Aliens called and they want their birthing chamber back). He also did not look like an out-of-work Orc from the Hobbit that took this role to gain a lil extra cash. Doomsday was an alien, a slave to boot, that killed and didn't know why. He's the ultimate UNKILLABLE character because the more you hit him the bigger he gets. He does not consume energy. But you don't have to put up with the Orc look for long, because he "eats up the energy around him" and morphs into, I'm NOT EVEN KIDDING, the fat kaiju monster from Pacific Rim, complete with EMP blast weaponry. And again, the logic falls apart, when Wonderhooker decides he "gets stronger by feeding on energy", so what does the daffy woman do? Attacks him with energy.
Just understand you are not going to see Batman vs Superman, you are going to watch a movie about Lex Luthor. EVERYTHING begins and ends with him. Which also makes no sense whatsoever.
Oh, and apparently Gotham and Metropolis are right across a river from each other. Who knew?