Uncle Zack's bootleg Batman and Superman figures! Batteries not included.

Rating: 1/10 (18 April 2017)

Sigh...
I can't get over how weird and nightmarish this movie is. It reminds me of the Tom & Jerry cartoons by Gene Deitch. Sure, the characters on the screen look like Tom & Jerry, but they don't act like them. It's like that time when your uncle gave you one of those cheap bootleg Batman figures (Bat-Cop, Bat Detective etc) for Christmas. It just felt wrong.
Batman is based on the grumpy old sadist from Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns (how original), only more violent. He makes Keaton's Batman look like Gandhi. He also looks unintentionally hilarious with the huge, fake muscles on the suit. A more expensive version of the ones little boys wear when they play Batman. I bet there's a deleted scene out there where he glues fake hair on his chest and puts socks in his underpants too.
And Superman...I can't even remember any of Superman's lines. The only thing I remember is Henry Cavill standing there looking tired and annoyed. He's just there to be killed off by Doomsday.
BvS feels more like a horror film than a superhero film. Dark, disturbing, nihilistic...I don't think superhero films should make people depressed. They even have the overrated Neil DeGrasse Tyson show up and tell us how meaningless life is and how worthless we (humans) are.
I feel especially bad for all the kids who saw it. I heard one boy say to his mother: "I think it's scary". I wonder what they thought when they saw the parademons? "Why did the scary ninja cockroach kick Batman's butt?"
Skip this crap and watch a real superhero movie instead, like Superman 1978 or Spider- Man 2.