I've seen every movie ever made with Batman in it, animated or live-action and this is the single worst. No contest.

Rating: 1/10 (31 October 2018)

I'm not going to lie, it straight up baffles me that there are people who like this movie. It's upsetting, unsettling, and completely incoherent and nonsensical. Just as a movie. Even if Batman never existed before tim burton this would be. A. Bad. Movie. Sets and costumes are garish to look at, character motivations are unclear, actions are inconsistent and senseless, the script is completely void of logic, it's all just completely a Tim Burton fever dream that I couldn't wait to get out of.
But then if you consider the fact that Batman is a character that exists with a long history that this movie is meant to represent and the fact that this bears no resemblance to besides some loose cosmetic ties, it gets more upsetting. It's painfully obvious he doesn't give a single dry fart about the characters' histories. Batman is out here killing people left and right and revealing his secret identity to whoever, the Penguin is some weird sewer rapist monster raised by penguins. How does that work? How did he learn English?
And catwoman is some kind of zombie cat person. She's actually IDENTICAL to Hallie Berry's universally panned Catwoman and yet somehow she's widely loved and I don't get it. Every way I look at it Batman Returns and Catwoman are on equal footing, yet somehow Catwoman's average score is 3.3 and Batman Returns has an average score of 7.0 on imdb.
The only differences I can think of is Batman Returns came out in the dying embers of the 80s when trash was still cool and a lot of viewers didn't know any better, and Catwoman came out in 2004 post-Batman & Robin, post-9/11 when everyone was finally getting sick of bad superhero movies and acts of terrorism, 2. Hallie Berry is black 3. This time Catwoman was the star of her own movie. So whether this discrepancy is the result of nostalgia, racism, or misogyny, I'm not having it. This movie is hot garbage and it's time everyone realized it.
and look, I consider myself an optimist and I love to find the good in every person and every situation but there is NOTHING to like about this movie and if I ever see Tim Burton in real life I'm punching him in the face and not stopping until I'm in handcuffs. Please submit this as evidence and consider it a guilty plea.
I hated this movie as a child, I hate this movie as an adult and I will continue to hate it when I'm old, senile and remember nothing but the burning rage inside my heart.