doom, gloom, and a lotta "kaboom"

Rating: 5/10 (26 February 2006)

Before tonight, it had been a whopping 14 years since I'd seen "Batman Returns" (upon its initial theatrical release)...probably because I didn't like it much the first time around. With old(er) age and a more well-rounded appreciation of cinema, I decided to give it another shot, and...well, it was a LITTLE better than I remember it being when I was a tyke. The plot has something to do with a deformed child dumped in the Gotham City sewer, who is befriended and raised by penguins, and somehow amasses a face-painted sideshow cult to do his bidding, rising to the ranks of Penguin (an extremely unrestrained Danny DeVito); meanwhile, put-upon secretary Selena Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) stumbles upon a shady deal her industrialist boss Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) is looking to pull, and is murdered for her efforts, only to be resurrected as Catwoman, a nimble minx in a bondage outfit. Batman (Michael Keaton) spends most of his time in the background of chaotic scenes, and is hardly in the movie. "Batman Returns" shows off director Tim Burton's big-budget stylistic flair, with a taste for the macabre and a morbid sense of humor; the script, however, takes a colossal misstep in putting the Penguin at the center of things, as he is easily the most obnoxious adversary the Caped Crusader has ever had to confront. His endless one-liners only randomly hit the funny bone, and the plot surrounding him feels fabricated. Catwoman has more seductive charm, as does Walken's Shreck, but even they can't detract from this overcooked movie.