Hell Here

Rating: 5/10 (5 August 2010)

Batman's a murderer. There's no getting around that. He literally killed someone. And Batmanjustdoesnotdothat.
I'm revisiting some of my favorite 90s movies for a special series, and to be honest, I was thoroughly looking forward to this (unknown number)th viewing of Batman Returns. It's a real "summer" release, it contains Selina Kyle – an awesome Catwoman and the original and still best Batman – Michael Keaton along with the wonderful Tim Burton. So why would I only rate it 5/10 stars?
Well, the story sucks. Really it does. Where the cinematography is awesome – PURE Burton – as is PURE Pfeiffer as Catwoman, the movie sags with the broken story. And it was the start of the original Batman franchise: More is more. Let's add more characters! That'll spruce it up. (Not really, but they thought so, all the way to Batman & Robin) Let's offer a suggestion: Pitch the Penguin (DeVito.) Keep but tone down Shreck (Walken.) And re-write the finale.
Of the original four Batman movies, two directed by Tim Burton, two by Schumacher, this one is the one that's a direct sequel, whereas they flat-out mention events/characters from the previous installment. It's some time since the events where Joker (Nicholson) died in #1, and Batman's been waiting and now respected by (the now elusive) Commissioner Gordon (Hingle.) A new gang's in town, led by the Penguin who has an agenda.
The Penguin's kinda, sorta controlled by Millionaire Max Screck who both wants to promote Penguin to Mayor and has a somewhat dead, but devious nonetheless, secretary Selina Kyle who becomes Catwoman when she falls to the felines around her and then she falls further for Batman and/or Bruce Wayne, who's struggling dual identities, still since
My head is spinning, and that's thanks to screenplay writer Daniel Waters. There's more and that's just too much. And that's, well, too much in a movie that could've been a contender. It's a beautifully shot film, despite being a cross between typical Burton and Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses oddly enough.
The movie starts off promising. It has that summer movie feel, regardless of the "Christmas" theme, in addition to a bloody fun Comic-Book movie feel, but surely sinks into over-plot'ness with too many angles. So many, that no wonder both Burton and Keaton refused part III. And it ends on such an outrageous finale, things that Batman would not surely do, that you wonder if they had an inkling of how to end the movie.
And does everyone bypass the fact that Batman actually killed someone? Intentionally?! Spoiler alert or not, Batman attaches a bomb to a bad clown figure and pushes him down a shaft where he explodes. Not a thought goes into this scene, nor repercussions. Surely, Christopher Nolan would've explore Batman being hunted for murder.
This all said, I still do rank it upwards to five out of 10 stars for the fantastic score – possibly the best score of all (so far) six movies, the best song – Face to Face by Siouxsie and the Banshees, the best baddie: Pfeiffer's Catwoman was simply delicious and one of her all-time best roles and the overall look of the sets and cinematography was superb.
Despite all that's wrong with the picture, it's worth a shot for some good lines, Pfeiffer and Burton's vision. Get past the spotty story and the fact Batman would NEVER kill someone, and you have the only worthwhile sequel to the classic and original Batman.