What Happened?

Rating: 1/10 (23 March 2014)

That's the question I kept asking myself after I finished watching this film. I know I'll be stepping on many peoples' toes by writing this review. I know a lot of people loved this film when it was released in '92, and I know a lot of people still love the film to this day. However, I'd like to ask all those people to keep an open mind, and to try to see this from my perspective. I never liked this movie! Not even after I first saw it. I wanna put all of you in my shoes: Your eight years old, Batman comes out, you go see it, and afterwords, you're blown away by its sheer greatness. Shortly after, a sequel is announced, and you're ecstatic! You can't wait for it, you expect it to be all that the previous film was and more, then, a few years pass, the film comes out, you see it, and its a complete dud! That's exactly how I felt when I saw Batman Returns. Batman Returns didn't even feel like it was in the same series as Batman! Where as Batman was exciting and fun, Batman Returns was dreary and depressing. None of the villains were charismatic, or fun to watch like Nicholson's Joker, they were all one dimensional and had no motivations! Keaton still plays Batman fairly well, but nothing at all is done with his Bruce Wayne persona. Which in and of itself, presents a huge problem when a semi love interest is interjected into the film. As with Kim Basinger's Vicki Vale, Michelle Pfeiffer does a decent job with what she's given, but that's the problem with her character. You don't know what kind of person Selina Kyle really is, and we have no idea what her agenda is as Catwoman. Why does she want Penguin to frame Batman? We don't know and we never find out. The Biggest problem of the film however, is Danny Devito as The Penguin. Aside from the fact that he rides around in a motorized rubber duck, and that the image of his army of rocket pack penguins is the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've ever seen, The Penguin has to be one of the most poorly done comic book villains ever! The problem is, that The Penguin is done in such an inconsistent way. One minute Tim Burton wants us all to feel sorry for him, and then the next, he wants us all to detest him as the evil villain. As for my experience with the film: It didn't leave me in a good mood or hungry for more, as the first film did. It left me feeling dreary, sick, and empty. For me, going from Batman to Batman Returns felt like chasing Champagne with sewer water. The first drink was great, but the second just left a bad taste in my mouth.